The sun on his face felt wonderful... like life streaming into him even as it sapped his powers away. And yet even though it took away the desires from his body it could not take away what he had done to her... and what he had almost done. His bare hands gripped the edge of the window sills until his hands went white as he adjusted his jaw, staring into the sun for a moment until he saw spots in his eyes, then closed them, looking at the dark afterimage of them briefly tattooed on the inside of his eyelids, trying to breathe slowly as he listened to the sound of Beth's voice, the way that her words sounded opening his eyes now that the afterimage had gone, looking at her as she told him about the fact that she had not told her family even of Danny's proposal. He did not know what she expected him to say to her, that she should go back with him? Danny did not seem like the type of person who deserved a second chance, but Desmond knew life well enough to know that people rarely got what they truly deserved in it.
"You are lying." Desmond replied softly as she told him that she understood. He took in a slow breath and half smiled at it. "And I am glad for that. The blood could have affected you in such a way... and I would not have had the strength to stop you." He admitted honestly as he stared out at the lawn below for a long moment, feeling the dark strands of hair falling across his face as he took a slow breath. "And I hope that you never know exactly what it is like to have yourself perverted in such a fashion..." he said softly and forced a smile at her.
"It is not your fault. I failed you." He said simply. He took in a slow breath, then leaned his head against the wall. "Long ago, I cared for someone, more than anyone else I had ever cared for in this world. When I first saw you, I could have sworn that you were her for a brief moment, but you weren't. In truth, her personality and yours are as vastly different as the mountain from the sea... and yet even so, I longed for you. At first because you looked like her, and later because of who you were, when I began to realize the magnitude of such things." he pursed his lips light, and then spun around, pressing his back against the wall, staring at the ceiling for a moment as he closed his eyes.
"I failed her too."
He didn't have the heart to tell her that she very well might watch her children die. Or that if she was with him she would very likely watch her children and grandchildren and great grand children die. "The future is always uncertain, Beth." he said softly. "You thank me now, but one day you may find yourself rueing this day as the worst in your life. So do not thank me now, please..." he said softly, looking down. He did not say anything to the fact that she called him a wonderful friend. He wondered if perhaps he was overreacting about his blood inside of her, but something about the situation told him that she was not being completely honest with him or herself. But on the other hand... he could not really believe that she'd been attracted to him before either. Now anything she said could just be her wanting to get close to him.. wanting to taste him again.
"I need to go... if I do not feed soon there will be consequences..." he said, in the light of the dawn he looked paler than she had seen him before. "I do not need you to steer clear of me, but it will be easier for you if you aren't around me. The draw to me will fade, given enough time..." He just had no idea how much time it would actually take for it to happen. It could take a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or even years, based on how old he was. Blood was different for everyone, that much he had been forced to accept as time went on. "I would offer my word to protect you, and yet... if anything last night proved that I cannot even do that properly." he said softly as he pushed off of the wall and started to walk to the door, absentmindedly grabbing the bouquet of roses he'd left on the ground before he left without another word.
They looked like he felt... battered and blood stained.