Jia Li felt like she was on fire, but this was a very pleasant burning. She could feel his hands on her body, and his touch was welcome. The sound that resonated in his throat when her hips were grinding against his just made that heat in her core intensify. He was growing rougher with her, but she wasn’t afraid this time. It was different, hungry but that same hunger was reflected in herself this time.
Then she had to tell him. It was now or never, and it was better to tell him now, so he knew, than to surprise him with it when it was too late to go back. She was a virgin; he had a right to know. However, she could feel him freeze as soon as she uttered his name. Jia Li hadn’t intended to do it. It had just slipped out again. The dryad hoped that by saying what she had to say, using his name could be forgotten, or at least accepted, but she was wrong.
Something clouded his eyes, that darkness that sent chills through her. Suddenly, she had the very real sensation that she wasn’t sitting on Gabriel’s lap but Jack’s. It wasn’t like he had dual personalities or anything, but in her mind, they were sort of like two different people. Then he stated very simply but also very icily that “Gabriel” wasn’t his name, and while he wasn’t rough with her when he tossed her from his lap, the action spoke volumes that caused her gut to twist painfully.
Jia Li suddenly felt a very real shame move through her. Now that her head wasn’t clouded with her hormones, she suddenly felt… dirty and whore-like. She watched him, wide-eyed, as he stood and grabbed his bag and his shirt. Jack told her it was a mistake, and he was right, but she still felt like something inside her was breaking. It definitely wasn’t her heart or anything. She didn’t love him, but that was the problem.
The dryad had been willing to have sex with a guy she didn’t love. Why; because he said her scar didn’t make her hideous? His willingness to have sex with her, too, his initiating it meant that he may not have had totally honest intentions, either. Did he realize he’d been taking advantage of someone who was emotionally scarred? What did that say about her? He obviously wasn’t emotionally at his peak if just saying his real name had flung him over the edge.
“Jack, I-” Her bedroom door slamming cut off her words. What could she have said anyway? Nothing would have pacified him, not when his fury showed so clearly in his eyes.
Her hands shook as she retrieved her clothing from the floor, replacing it on her body, and she fought hard not to cry. Jia Li was glad they hadn’t ended up having sex. How could she have felt good about that later when it was over? It would be too complicated. Maybe it was better if he hated her, even if she didn’t want that, either. The dryad wanted him to like her, to want her, but at the same time, it was so much easier to just avoid him.
Besides, he wouldn’t want a relationship anyway. The fact that he and Kay slept together was enough indication of that. If the siren didn’t want a relationship, Jack definitely wouldn’t want one, either. Jia Li wasn’t the sort to just have a friend-with-benefits, though. Again, she thought she needed a genuinely nice guy for herself, not one who pretended to be a jerk but was really good and not one who pretended to be good but was truly awful.
Ugh… She wished that things could just be… simple…