Jack couldn't help but give a throaty laugh. "You COULD leave me, actually, and you did, unless I missed you in the background while they were stabbing me." Jack muttered lightly as he shook his head and rubbed his chest. "Besides, what exactly were you going to do with a... baseball bat?" Jack said, raising his eyebrows lightly at the weapon she brought. "Jesus, Suzy, if you're going to try to take on a horde of pissed off super haters, you don't bring a fucking baseball bat unless maybe you're a goddamned giant... and then it would be a GIANT fucking bat, not that thing. You're lucky they got bored kicking my ass because if you'd come out swinging that, first thing they'd do is take it from you, then they'd start beating your fucking ass with it. You should have got like... a fucking semi automatic rifle, or at least a shotgun or something..."
"And even then they probably would have killed you anyway." Jack muttered. "You ever hear that tale about the heroic dryad that just saved the entire town? No? That's because there isn't one. You guys are designed to look pretty and dance, and I ain't the most up to date on my greek mythology but I'm pretty sure I've never heard of a dryad badass, so you should probably consider that before you decide that you're going to try to take on a mob of angry assholes."
When she surprisingly asked him how he had survived, he laughed a little. "How am I alive? I'm not, I'm just a devilishly handsome zombie..." Jack muttered a little, then pushed himself up to his feet, wobbling a little. "Woo, maybe a little too soon for that. Never really tested how fast all of this stuff works... I guess I should be glad they didn't break my fucking legs."
"Actually I did die. When I went to hell, the devil kicked my ass back. Something about being afraid of me taking over..." Jack said with a smirk, but could tell from the look that Jia was going to press him on this one until the end of time if he didn't tell her. She had that look of curiousity that women got when they just weren't going to let something fucking go, ever. "We don't need to go to a fucking hospital... What I need is a stiff drink and a blowjob..." he muttered as he started to walk away from her, giving her one last opportunity to just leave him the fuck alone before he debated on telling her the truth. But as he considered it a truly fiendish manipulation popped into his head and he just grinned at her.
"Tell you what, Suzy. You really want to know why I'm not dead, let's go have that topless makeout session you were too chicken to have before with me and I'll give you the honest truth on it..." he said with a sleazy smirk. "Kay and I aren't a thing, she specifically told me that she'd rather die than get tied down to a boyfriend, so I'm free game... whattya say?" He said, sliding closer to her as he put his hand on her hip and slid it around to the top of her ass. Covered in blood as he was he was sure it was not an appealing offer, not to mention that Jia had been prudish enough that any mention of anything sexual would instantly cause her to forget what was going on and immediately snap back into 'you're such an asshole' mode. Hell, she might even fucking slap him, all things considered.