"Woooow, Suzy made a funny. I bet you spent all night last night thinking up that one, rolling it around in your brain, thinking how satisfied you'd be when you finally laid it on me, imagining me suddenly curling up into the fetal position going 'oh no... not that... no one had ever thought of that, a completely original insult, I'm melting... meeellllting.'" Jack paused to take in a slow deep breath as he smiled at her. "So... how's that fantasy working out for ya Suzy? Given that I'm not actually, y'know, melting? Maybe... maybe you should just stick to all those lewd fantasies you have about us together instead of making up mean ones. I know that's why you get all cherry faced whenever I get around..."
A few moments later when her face reddened he pointed to her. "See... that, THAT right there, Suzy. You're thinking about it now... I see that you've worked on your angry face now." Jack made a mock pout that looked like he was trying to be Zoolander. "I like it, very Ben Stiller-y of you. But really, while I'm sure the little girl pout gets you all the attention from daddy that you could ever want, it won't actually get you anywhere with me. Oh! But I forgot, you don't actually want to get anywhere with me, that's why you've been stalking me lately..." he said with a smile, knowing that him accusing her of that would probably make her go as read as a tomato.
He watched her starting to tense up with her cup, raising his eyebrows as if to challenge her to do it. "Oh... oh wait, Suzy might actually be willing to cause a scene in front of all of these people... oh the drama, the potential social embarassment just to get back at Jack. Will she do it... will she go...all...the...way!?" Jack waited and watched as she backed down, shaking his head sadly. "Jesus Suzy, I'm ashamed. I guess though, this sort of explains why you've got the stick up your ass, but I hate to tell you this, a stick up your ass won't actually make up for being spineless. Sure it'll like, keep you sort of up right, but you'll still be all wobbly... y'see?"
"Hahaha. Suzy, you wound me. Or try to anyway... yes, there are free seats left on the All-night Daniels express, and yet, if there wasn't that special seat available, you'd be all pouty, wondering why oh why it couldn't be you having a ride. You like to complain a big game Suzy, and yet, you're still here, trying to start a fight with me. You realize the whole, calling the guy you like names thing sort of went out of style in middle school right? Of course, that would be where you get your stunning notions not to touch in the bikini area for the first ten dates from." Jack said with a smirk.
"What am I really doing here? There's a chance to drink, have fun with normal people, why not be here? The real question is why you are here, Suzy. You don't drink because it's all 'Illegal' " Jack made a best effort to mimic her voice when he said it. "And you're not here to hook up because heaven forbid anyone should touch you in your naughty place... or else you just wouldn't be able to get them off of your mind for days." Jack said, probing blatantly to see if he could get a reaction from that one. If she blushed he'd know that she really couldn't resist him.
"So you ain't here to drink, you ain't here to fuck... Which leaves, what? Cock teasing and stalking me? So which is it, Suzy? Planning on giving captain caveman over there some blue-balls for the evening, or can you just not stay away from me for a whole wide week?"