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Tweak says, "Eat yogurt and get cultured"

Helena Wells-Quinzel is H.G. Wells (indelibleink) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2014-01-04 03:40:00

Entry tags:

h.g. wells, myka bering

Who: Myka and Helena
What: Talking about the gifts from Santa.
When: BACKDATED to the evening of December 27th
Where: Helena's room
Warnings: Should be low, but will update as needed

The holidays always seemed to be exhausting one way or another, but Helena did love them fiercely. Christmas was her favorite time of year by far. Though now that Christmas had passed and they were in the lull between Christmas and the New Year, Helena was simply relaxing with Myka. She did so enjoy just being in Myka's presence. They didn't have to talk or even be doing the same thing, just being in the same room was enough. Though that evening, Helena was snuggled up to Myka on the couch in her bedroom, a fire in the fireplace and a blanket wrapped around them. Grappler was draped across the back of the couch near them.

Though while Helena was happy, her mind kept going back to the gift from Santa. After she'd opened it and read the note, Helena of course knew what it was meant for. However, she'd simply put the gift in her closet so she didn't have to look at it. But just because it was out of sight didn't mean it was out of mind. Far from it. Helena did tend to fixate on things, and she was starting to fixate on the gift and what to use it for. Though she wasn't certain if she should use it.

She shifted slightly against Myka, her gaze on the fire. She took one of Myka's hands and threaded her fingers through hers. Helena was wearing the bracelet and earrings from the set of pearls Myka had given her for Christmas, proudly showing them off. The pearl necklace, however, was not something to be worn when lounging around.

"Did you enjoy our first Christmas together, love?" Helena asked, pulling her gaze from the fire and turning it to Myka. Of course that wasn't exactly what she wanted to bring up, but they could work around to the topic of the gift from Santa.

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agent_bering
2014-01-05 07:30 am UTC (link)

Oh, Victorian women and their standards, Myka thought it was a shame Helena didn’t think it was appropriate to wear pearls for lounging. She thought of a many number of good lounging activities that would go well with pearls. And only pearl. But what was one to do with a Victorian woman?

Myka set down the book she was reading and gave her full attention to Helena, it was just split between their interwoven fingers and the way the firelight played across Helena’s always brilliantly shiny hair.

“I really did,” she said earnestly. She would have enjoyed having Claudia, Pete, and Steve here as well, but Christmas had enjoyable all the same.

“Did you?”

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indelibleink
2014-01-05 10:13 am UTC (link)

Perhaps in time, Helena could learn to wear the pearl necklace as well while lounging. She just hadn't thought to put it on earlier. Pearls had always been what she wore when she was dressed up, not dressed down or in the field tracking an Artifact.

"I did, very much." She smiled warmly, her thumb gently stroking the back of Myka's hand. "It seems to be an exceptionally magical time of year in this place. And we made it through Christmas without being turned into cartoons or mythological creatures or waking up in someone else's body." She chuckled softly, a twinkle passing through her eyes.

"Did you enjoy your gifts?" Okay so that was a very indirect way of asking about the gift from Santa.

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agent_bering
2014-01-05 12:58 pm UTC (link)

Myka couldn’t argue with that, and she was sure no one could. Snowmen that came to life, hot chocolate that made you sing, and a man who delivered gifts in the middle of night (but didn’t molest you in any way) was preferable to cross-body mutations.

“And I did enjoy them as well,” Myka nodded sagely and held up her wrist which had her bracelet proudly displayed.

“I haven’t used my ornament yet, but I’m trying to decide who I should go see. If I do go see someone."

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indelibleink
2014-01-06 12:16 am UTC (link)

Helena was happy to see Myka was wearing her bracelet. She'd noticed Myka didn't always wear jewelry, but she'd hoped the meaningful bracelet would be something she would wear. And she'd clearly been right in that choice.

Though when Myka mentioned the ornament, Helena nodded a bit. "I have not used mine either, though I know who I would go see if I do use it." She was still very much undecided on whether she'd actually use it or not. As much as she wanted the chance to say goodbye to Christina, to actually put closure on that part of her life and try to heal a bit more, she knew it could all backfire on her. She could come out of the encounter back where she'd begun, emotionally speaking. And she really didn't want to have to think up some ingenious and somewhat untrue story for her therapist as to why her progress had been undone.

Of course, Helena had also thought about using it to see her father again, she did miss him. But when it came down to it, she wanted to see Christina more. As much as she wanted to tell her father she'd finally found what she'd been looking for, she wanted to be with Christina one last time. Yet she was so afraid it wouldn't be a good step to take.

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	agent_bering 2014-01-08 12:45 pm UTC (link)
	Myka paused, thinking through Helena’s answer. At last she said, “You want to see Christina again.” Myka knew that was the only person Helena could want to see but hesitate doing so. And Myka knew she was hesitating because Helena had not used it yet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

indelibleink
2014-01-09 12:48 am UTC (link)

"Yes," Helena said with a nod. She was most certainly hesitating. She was silent for a few moments before she continued. "I want the chance to say goodbye to her properly as I never had that chance. However, I am afraid it could potentially undo all of the progress I have made. And I would rather not try to explain that scenario to my therapist." Because explaining that would require lying about some of it.

"And before you say it, I know you are here for me and I won't be alone. But I would really rather avoid going back to that mentality. I believe I am in a good place, and I have the love and support I need, but I do not wish to be reverted back to that frame of mind. I don't want to lose what I've managed to gain here. Yet I do not wish to pass up the chance to say a proper goodbye." She looked at Myka, so much emotion in her dark eyes. She wanted to take the next step to letting go of the pain Christina's death had left her with, but she knew confronting Christina was a dangerous thing.

Myka also knew how Helena had reacted to the Soul Trap in Warehouse 2, in having seen Christina again. It was entirely possible she would fall apart all over again if she used her ornament to see her daughter.

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agent_bering
2014-01-10 02:04 pm UTC (link)

Myka could see the seriousness of Helena’s choice, and the very understandable fear she had. Regression was not something many people found favorable. However, Myka understood that it was sometimes a part of healing.

“You’re right, I’ll be here for you when it’s over. If you decide to use it.” Myka wouldn’t not confirm that.

“And your fear of regression is justified. That emotional state is still quite fresh in your mind. So if you don’t use it, I won’t think you are weak, and I won’t throw it in your face in the future. You shouldn’t take on more that you know you can handle right now.”

“But, I do want to point out that you’ve been learning more than just how to address your past, you’ve been learning how to address your emotions. You are stronger than I think you give yourself credit for.” She brushed a strand of Helena’s hair behind her ear and then pressed her palm of her hand to her chest. “But. I’m not saying that to persuade you either way, but to reassure you of the strengths you do have, because you do have a serious self-doubt infestation. I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend if I didn’t do my part to exterminate that doubt bug.”

She smiled softly. “I want you to be happy. I’ll support you whatever you choose.”

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indelibleink
2014-01-10 07:38 pm UTC (link)

Looking at Myka, Helena's gaze deepened in its intensity of emotion as she listened to her girlfriend. Myka had an excellent point, Helena did tend to undercut how strong she actually was. Even with the progress she'd been making in her therapy, Helena was still rooted in undercutting herself in most things. Though who could really blame her for thinking she wasn't strong when she'd lost herself after Christina's death? After she'd fallen so far off the beaten path and gotten lost in the darkness within, it was no wonder she didn't give herself enough credit. She was always her worst critic and punisher. Changing that negative thinking was a slow process. But when it came down to it, the fact Helena was alive right now was a testament to her strength and ability to survive and move through pain. If she'd been a weak person, she probably would've died a long time ago.

So she did take Myka's words into consideration. Helena lifted a hand and placed it over Myka's hand on her chest. "What would I do without you?" She commented playfully with a soft smile. "I am scared to see her, but I also recognize that it's an opportunity to have closure." Which was what the opportunity really was. It was a chance for closure to the painful incident that had set Helena on the path she was on. And she well knew if Christina hadn't died, she never would have met Myka to begin with.

"I'd also like her to know that I've found happiness with you." Christina possibly already knew that, but that required Helena believing in an afterlife and angels and so forth. And her belief in such things was a highly complicated one. "So perhaps my decision is already made, in that regard." Yet she still hesitated because she knew she'd be upset afterwards, she just didn't know if it would be for the better or for the worse. And with New Years a couple days away and the plans she had with Myka for New Years' Eve, Helena didn't want to be an emotional mess for that.

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agent_bering
2014-01-17 12:31 pm UTC (link)

“You’d probably have many lovers on the side,” Myka joked. She knew their relationship was Helena’s first real monogamous relationship.

“There are a lot of good things to tell her about. Me, Claudia, Pete, Artie, Steve.” Myka did seem to value the people in her life more than anything else. Even more than books, but just barely. Some people she valued less than books, but those weren’t people she wanted in her life anyways. “I’m sure she would like hearing about them.”

She threaded her fingers through Helena’s.

“I’ll be here for you, when you are done. And you don’t have to make the choice right now. You still have a few days to think about it.”

[OOC: So many apologies for being slowwww!]

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indelibleink
2014-01-18 08:24 am UTC (link)

Helena couldn't help but chuckle. "Touché, love." Her smile widened at that.

"Yes, there are." Though Helena didn't know Steve all that well. While he'd been at the castle when she'd arrived and they had talked, they hadn't had many in-depth talks. And despite what she'd seen between herself and Artie in regards to the Astrolabe and the Borgia Dagger, Helena knew Artie from the time she was from still didn't really like her. "I'm certain she would."

Looking at Myka, Helena gave her hand a squeeze as she threaded her fingers through Helena's.

"I know, and that is why I am waiting until after New Years. I would like to be in a good mood for our dinner date on New Years' Eve and not stuck in bed and being an emotional wreck."

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agent_bering
2014-01-18 11:57 am UTC (link)

“I think that’s a good length of time to wait,” Myka said, giving a judicious nod. “You’ll still have time after to use the gift if you want to, and you’ll be able to think things through thoroughly.”

However, Myka knew she should be on the lookout in case Helena started thinking too much about her choices – too much in the ‘wallowing’ sense. It was good to think about ones options, but Helena could be a little too intense about it. If Myka noticed her girlfriend slipping in that direction, she would have to nudge her in the other way somehow.

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indelibleink
2014-01-18 09:54 pm UTC (link)

"Precisely," Helena said with a nod. It would certainly be something she could think about. There were pros and cons to seeing Christina, and there were pros and cons to not seeing Christina. It would simply come down to whether Helena would be brave enough to see her daughter or not. Though Helena was also somewhat certain if she didn't use this opportunity to see Christina, she would regret it for however long she was here. But again, she still had time to make that decision.

And Myka was certain right to be on the lookout because Helena did have a tendency to fixate on things. Especially when they pertained to Christina. She didn't think it would get to that point, but Helena wasn't exactly the most objective person when it came to this subject. Still, she was grateful she had someone willing to keep an eye on her in such circumstances.

"Thank you, love," Helena said with a warm smile. She then leaned in for a kiss.

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agent_bering
2014-01-21 02:46 am UTC (link)

Myka willingly pushed up into that kiss. She’d never found one from Helena she didn’t want.

“You could try,” Myka said slowly, “to bring this up with your therapist?” It was just a suggestion, but Myka fully believed that it couldn’t hurt Helena to hear support from another source. “I’m not sure how you would bring that up. But she might have some insights I don’t.”

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indelibleink
2014-01-21 05:08 am UTC (link)

Helena turned that thought over in her mind for some moments. "I could. I could bring up wanting to try and put some closure to it by going to where it happened and facing it?" Of course, both she and Myka knew that particular place was in Paris, France, but Helena had to alter some details of her story for her therapist. "But you are right, she might have some insights to add on the matter."

This was going to be a tricky subject to bring to her therapist, but Helena had become better at altering the details of her story to fit with the setting of this world. Because to her therapist, she was just another native of New Creandi. Or at the very least native to this world.

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