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Helena Wells-Quinzel is H.G. Wells (indelibleink) wrote in makebelievelog,

Helena too had the capacity to be quite logical herself, but currently she was being emotional and highly irrational in her thinking. So at least Myka could be the rational one to help point certain things out. And as Myka pointed them out, at least she could do so in a way that wouldn't make Helena feel like she was being patronized or made to feel even more silly than she already did for feeling the way she felt. Really, Helena looked at herself with the sharpest and most scathingly critical eye. She knew there were people that hated her, but she knew that no one could hate her more than she hated herself at times. No one, not even the Regents, could punish her more harshly than she punished herself for her mistakes and transgressions.

Looking at Myka once she sat on the coffee table and took her hand, she took a breath to try and think more rationally. Which didn't quite work as well as she wanted it to.

"Artie was hurt because of me and I drove you away from the Warehouse." Which was the initial, simplest way to put things. "I was put on the Janus Coin. At some point, Mrs. Frederic asked me to talk to you in an attempt to get you to return to the Warehouse, which you did. Later I attempted to help recover Joshua's Trumpet for a second time." There was a heaviness to that because Helena carried the weight of everyone who had died because of that artifact since she'd sent the rocket into space in 1893. And it was her burden to carry because their deaths were on her hands, including the people who had died when Daniel had been using it. "Then came Sykes and his using me as a means to an end, but attempts to keep him from gaining access to the Warehouse were in vain. Which ultimately resulted in my dying with the Warehouse and then I found myself here. And somewhere between Yellowstone and here, you forgave me for what I did."

So that was the incredibly textbook response as well as Helena being extremely critical of herself. She really did not see herself as being heroic when she'd encouraged Myka, Pete and Claudia to destroy the Janus Coin to protect the Warehouse. Nor did she see herself as being heroic when she'd given her life up to save Myka, Pete and Artie. She was merely doing what was right and nothing more.