InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "POTATOOOOOO"

Padmé Amidala Skywalker (i_cannot_follow) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-04-06 23:42:00

Entry tags:

carol peletier, padme amidala

Who: Padmé Amidala-Skywalker, Carol Peletier
What: Run-in in the library
When: Sunday, April 7, 2013 - morning
Where: Library
Rating/Warnings: Low, will update if necessary
Status: Closed / Incomplete

Padmé was, perhaps, taking the research into impending motherhood a bit far. She had been perusing books for children of various (young) ages. She had gotten a number of parenting style books and even a few DVDs. She had watched those when on her own in the rooms. There was so much information and sorting through it was mentally overwhelming. But it didn't change how excited she was about all of it. She was 12 weeks along, and there was no way that the remaining time could ever prepare her fully, but she couldn't wait to have a family with Anakin.

She had also started to wonder what she could teach her child. The idea of politics had lessened in her mind, almost like a fog clearing out. The desire to help those who needed it, who were less privileged, was still strong. She wanted to teach that. But she didn't quite know what else to pass on, which had left her wondering about hobbies or things she ought to be doing or learning to better herself as a person rather than just as a parent.

But for now, she had a moderate size stack of books and was headed to a table to sort through and give a look when the top book slid off the stack and fell onto the floor. She paused to pick it up and, in that moment amidst trying to balance the books in one arm and bending over, someone else came into her path. She smiled, ever polite, and said, "Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. I suppose I picked up one too many books."

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-07 06:15 pm UTC (link)

Carol had to work up her courage to actually go into the library. After Buffy and Harry had given her the warning that she might not like what she found...well, she couldn't help but be more than just a little wary. Carol had never been known for her bravery, but she had always been good about doing what she had to do. She was much less mousy than she once was, but that didn't mean that she went running into something that she was so unsure about. The library was sort of an unknown. She knew what should be in it...books, DVDs maybe, or magazines. She didn't want to find out anything about herself, though. But there was no way that she was fictional. Who would want to read about a bunch of survivors from Atlanta? That didn't seem like a good story. They were such a hodge podge group, nobody would be interested in them. Especially her.

So, Carol had gathered up her lists. She'd made a list of all of the authors and titles that people had given her (leaving off the books that Harry had talked about that were about his life) and then she'd left her room, heading for the library. She had been nervous on the walk over, but it hadn't stopped her from walking right in.

It was a beautiful library. It was much fancier than any library she'd ever been in. The ones she'd been in had been square buildings with a limited number of books. This library just seemed so large. Carol didn't even know where to begin. So, she just wandered, her eyes taking in everything. She wasn't exactly paying much attention to where she was going. She was taking things in more than she was actually looking for anything yet.

Before she realized anything she was running into another person who had a nice sized stack of books. Carol saw the book on top go tumbling to the ground and she did come to a complete stop. Carol couldn't help but look at some of the titles on the books. This woman was looking at quite a few baby books. Carol wondered if she were trying or if she were already pregnant. Either way the older woman smiled a bit. "It's fine. You want some help with those?"

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-08 03:32 am UTC (link)

Padmé's life, and what little social life she had, had revolved around the Senate and her career. Her friends had been fellow diplomats and her handmaidens. Everything, her reason for waking up each morning, had been her job and living for the people she had represented. Even if she had been in the Land of Make Believe for just under a year (one more month), it was still a mentality shift she was undergoing. Part of her mentality shift, as well, was lessening her formality level. She was used to her moves being potentially scrutinized. She was used to having a need to project confidence and being assured. It was being able to be herself, now, and not worrying that she would fail a sector because she failed to play the game of politics.

"I would appreciate that." It was even accepting help when it was offered and, really, she was grateful. "I'm Padmé. Are you a new resident?" She didn't think the other woman was staff, though there was a possibility. Still, the face didn't look familiar.

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-08 04:39 am UTC (link)

Carol couldn't help but think about back when she had found out that she was pregnant. It seemed so long ago. It had taken so long to come about. She had thought that it would never happen. And the moment that it did was one that was filled with both happiness and a great deal of fear. Carol couldn't help but remember her former husband in moments where she was reminded of that far back in her past. Most people didn't have the same conundrum when they found out about babies coming along.

Carol was glad for that fact. Or at least, she hoped that that wasn't a conundrum that this woman had. It wasn't what any mother deserved.

Carol took some of the books from the other woman, who she was fairly certain was an expecting mother because of the books. The older woman had a smile on her face as she did it too. "I am, sorta. I've been here for a week or a little over now. I'm Carol." She offered her name easily. "Have you been here for a while?"

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-10 01:52 am UTC (link)

Padmé nodded a little at the question and answered, "In a little more than a month, I will have been here for a year. Of course, sometimes with this place, it can feel like a brand new surprise makes it all 'new' again. That can be a positive or - a negative thing. How have things been so far for you?" There was no point in dancing around or avoiding the fact that the Land of Make Believe could cause positive and very negative aspects. She had already experienced more good than any bad could ever outweigh, personally, but Padmé knew that wasn't the case for everyone. Still, she had been able to meet Leia and Luke, both. She had been able to settle in with Anakin and they were looking toward starting a family. She had a lot to be grateful for; she missed a lot of people, and things could be downright bizarre, but it was important to remember the good.

After a moment, Padmé looked down at the half a stack left that she had and realized that Carol (likely) had grasped the common scheme in what books she had taken. She looked over at the other woman and admitted, "My husband and I haven't made the public announcement yet. For the number of books I've been trying to read on it, lately, it seems like word will get out on its own. There's just - so much material."

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-11 06:42 pm UTC (link)

Carol still couldn't get over how many people had been in this place for extended amounts of time. A year felt like forever, both in her world at home, and it seemed like here too. Carol had a soft, polite smile on her face as she lifted her shoulders a bit. "It's been better than where I came from. It's just been strange getting used to basic comforts again. And it's been an adjustment, but not a bad one." Carol shared. "I've not seen any bad so far, dreading when I actually do." Carol couldn't help but tack that on. She had heard so much of the bad. She hadn't gone through any of it yet, though. So, she couldn't help but not feel exactly what those that had been here for some time had felt.

Carol laughed a little bit at the younger woman admitting that they hadn't told anyone yet. "I'm going to guess this is your first?" Carol asked, curious. She had wanted to learn a lot when she had been pregnant with Sophia, but she had also had Ed to worry about too. Without him, she was sure that things would have been much better. So, this woman's experience had to be much better than her own. "There's a lot of stuff out there. There was even back when I had my daughter." Carol told the other woman, remembering all of the stuff she had found.

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-13 02:39 am UTC (link)

Padmé nodded at the remark about it being better. "I know some don't like this place, but - for myself, I know it's a better option. However temporary, or however long, this place holds such a level of potential and I can explore who I am in ways I couldn't at home. I'm sorry things weren't good where you were from, but I'm glad to hear that things are good for you here."

"Some of the bad, most, seems to be - unusual, but temporary. There was only one that I would call truly horrifying and even that was temporary." Of course, that didn't lessen it during the event. Reavers, hearing and seeing the devastation and pure carnage, had been something nightmares were made of. Padmé had barricaded herself in the back storage room at her work and had heard the screams, had seen things amidst the escape. "I'm not sure the idea it's temporary is ever quite reassurance, since emotions experienced during things are still very real. It's almost mentally questioning, but then - if you have good people to help you recover during the time between things happening. It can be quite nice."

"And yes," Padmé grinned, teeth showing and all. It was hard not to feel absolutely giddy about it. "Technically. I have two children at home, later, and one of them is here and a full-grown adult. But this is my first for what I remember. And - is your daughter here?" Padmé asked that with ignorance and hope for the other woman, not knowing better. She knew some had been separated from family members, so she (of course) did hope that Carol's daughter was there.

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-14 03:36 pm UTC (link)

Carol really liked this place so far, but she hadn't suffered here. She didn't want to know about all of the bad things, really. She kind of just wanted to bask in the things that she hadn't had in so long. It might not be long before she wasn't able to do that, but she was going to enjoy it while she could. "Well I'm glad for the same for you that it's good here for you too."

It really didn't seem so bad to her. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe the bad wasn't so bad when it all boiled down to it. In any place you were there'd be good and there'd be bad. Some of what had been described to her sounded pretty bad, though. "I heard some of the bad, and it definitely sounded scary." She nodded, remembering the idea of Reavers had been scary when they'd been mentioned. Carol couldn't help but think that if bad was temporary it was something that most people could grin and bear and get through. But she came from a world where the dead rose and were walking. "I got people here, luckily. Even just being here I don't know what I'd have done without them." Carol smiled thinking about Daryl and the others.

Carol couldn't help the wide smile. "It'll be exciting for you to have the baby. Because you're going through it and it's new for you." Carol started a bit at the question, thinking back to Sophia and how long Daryl had searched for her. Carol shook her head, though, her smile falling. "No, she's not. My daughter passed away." And that was a light way of saying it. Carol knew that what happened to her wasn't so light.

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-15 10:47 pm UTC (link)

Padmé nodded at the remark about it sounding scary. It had been scary; if Anakin and company hadn't come, she wasn't sure she would have been able to fight her way out of the storage closet and back to the castle on her own. The invasion had lasted long enough that being at the castle had been a necessity. "Having people who you care about here can be invaluable, both when the scary comes and - when it doesn't. I know I'm grateful for those from my home that are here and for those I've met that I wouldn't have otherwise. I... there seems to be a slight cultural barrier, at times, that I wish weren't there."

"It's an opportunity I wouldn't have at home, so I'm really excited." Padmé's expression sombered immediately at what Carol said. "I - am so sorry. I can't imagine."

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-17 07:42 pm UTC (link)

Carol wasn't exactly a warrior. She could fight if she needed to, but it wasn't her strongest suit. She wished that she had more drive to fight, but she didn't. She was willing to do whatever she had to in order to survive, but she wasn't going to jump up to be one of the warriors of any group. That wasn't the sort of person that Carol was, and it would never be the sort of person that she would be. "I think that if I didn't have people I knew I would be lost." Carol chose to share that little tid bit. "Everyone here, thus far, has been nice so far." And she hadn't met anyone that was particularly bad as of yet. Daryl was potentially the worst person around and she cared about him. And there was nothing wrong with Daryl or anything. He was a good man.

"Well, I'm glad that you get the chance." Carol nodded, but she took the moment to give the other woman a tiny smile. "I don't think anybody really can. I never could have before. But you didn't do anything, so you don't need to be sorry." Carol wasn't so raw now. She could handle talking about it a bit better than she used to be able to.

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-18 09:47 pm UTC (link)

Padmé paused to sit the stack of books she had down on one of the library's tables before admitting, with mild hesitancy, "I was a politician before I came here. I was in the Apprentice Legislature at age eight was a full Apprentice Legislator by age eleven. I've not taken a break from politics, at one level or another, before. Between the people I have here, and the people I've met here, I've started to be able to explore something besides - politics." She looked at Carol, smiling a little back at her. Padmé wasn't going to pry further than offered, but was genuine when she said, "I'm glad you have people who help give you direction. I know everyone's situation is different, but it's definitely something I wish for others here."

She knew that, in a few years time, she would die in the setting at home; from the time Leia and Han were from, Padmé was long dead. She knew there was a (potentially slim) chance that death didn't stick in the Land of Make Believe, but mentioning such a thing seemed like a horrible idea. Rather, Padmé turned to the topic of thanking Carol. "Again, thank you for helping with these books - and for the kind words. I think you're the first mother I've met here, or among the first," Padmé didn't know if there were any who hadn't mentioned it. "As small as it is, it's nice to know I'm not alone in - my excessive reading."

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notmylittlegirl
2013-04-19 11:27 pm UTC (link)

Carol hadn't ever met any real politicians, so meeting a female one was definitely different for her. She couldn't help but take the other woman in for a moment. "When I think of politicians I think of fat, bald, white men." She admitted, but tacked on, "So it's real neat that you were one." And she did mean that. That was the kind of role model that she would have liked Sophia to have. She hadn't had a good one like this woman, though. She seemed much smarter than Carol by far, as far as the older woman was concerned."But it's real good that you get to try other stuff." She added with a smile to the younger woman. "I don't think I'd have settled in real well it it weren't for my friends. I can't imagine how hard it is for someone that comes in and doesn't know anyone."

Carol waved the other woman's thank you off as she sat the books she held down, following the other woman's lead. "You're welcome, don't think nothing of it." She smiled and shrugged a little. "You're supposed to be nervous and wanting to prepared. It's the sign that you're gonna be a good mom 'cause you care so much."

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i_cannot_follow
2013-04-22 12:14 am UTC (link)

Padmé was certainly rather curious, if not a little amused, at the idea of politicians equating fat, bald, white men. But she did know that, in some cases, patriarchal societies seemed to have problems with men coming it power and abusing it; but there were matriarchal societies that she knew of as well, so she didn't assume patriarchal or matriarchal of any societal structure or political system without being told or having indications otherwise. She knew of the Nightsisters from seeing the cartoon about the Clone Wars, though they were only a part of the society on Dathomir. Noghri of Honoghr were Matriarchal as well, as was the entire planet of Hapan. Hapan was, perhaps, the most extreme case. Padmé had read a little on it to find out about a Princess that would (or did?) have a child with one of Leia and Han's sons. But if she had gone into a list of planets where equality wasn't the case, it would've taken her all day. It was unfortunate. If by gender or by class, people generally didn't go into politics with the idea of trying to represent those less fortunate and, instead, went in with the prominent question being what they could use to their advantage to gain power. If anything, knowing Palpatine's deception and betrayal had opened Padmé's eyes to that unfortunate fact.

"Thank you. It really was - rewarding, at times." But 13 years, plus any unofficial involvement at younger ages down to eight, really did mean Padmé needed to get a life outside of politics. She just wasn't entirely sure how. "And I'd like to be able to teach him or her more than politics... and I'd like to have more things to keep me occupied. I just don't know what, exactly. I'm going to have to change my current job, at least temporarily, too."

"I do wish there were a way to tell who has no one and help a little, however small. It can be a task to figure out who knows who here, though." She added after a beat, her mind straying to her own confusion upon arriving. She was sure others likely had the same experience.

The explanation of caring so much made Padmé smile because, in truth, it was at the core of why she was nervous. She cared. She wanted to do this right. She knew how she was raised, but she didn't imagine raising her own children that way. It wasn't anything against her parents or their decisions, but she wanted her kids to have a chance to just be kids. It made her feel a bit warm inside and, as a whole, a little more on track. "I really do hope so. It's silly - speaking in front of an entire Senate was something I got used to, but the idea of one small being is terrifying."

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