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Claudia Donovan (clauds) wrote in makebelievelog,

Claudia had used an artifact to reverse death. She had used it on Steve or, rather, would use it on Steve. She didn't make the distinction in her mind because she had come from the point in time where it had already been a given in her mind. She probably shouldn't have by most people's standards, but she didn't care. Steve had needed brought back.

Even if having her surrogate brother around was something she wanted, at the moment she could have done without it. There had been an ominous and pressing feeling as the end of the day ticked closer and rather than focusing on her work, she had gone down to talk to someone in another department about a rumored position opening up. Claudia had taken a programming job far below her skill level on purpose; she had wanted extra time, least effort possible, with maximum pay. Now she was contemplating using up a bit more time and putting forward more effort for the sake of a notable raise in pay. She was playing the "become well adjusted" game. She had been employed for a long time, she was in the process of car shopping, and her life didn't involve doom and weird. Usually.

With the glimpse into the world back home and Claudia having known about it first out of the Warehouse people, no one could've blocked Claudia from the T.V. show and finding out what happened. She had a driving need to know, to know how things were and if everyone was okay. Except she knew... details. She knew details about the upcoming season and the fact that everyone couldn't be okay, that things couldn't all be okay. She knew better than to spill those details to anyone. She had already looked up the next season online for "spoilers" on her own life. Claudia kept telling herself that it would be the ultimate party pooper thing to do if she shared any details. Who wanted that hanging over their head at Christmas?

Not that what they mostly knew was any better. Everyone at the Warehouse had actually had a family before the Warehouse. Steve had his mother and Olivia. Myka had her parents and Tracy. Pete had his mom, sister, and dad when he was little. H.G. had her family - way, way back when - and Christina... though the loss of the important part of her family had driven her off the edge of a cliff. Claudia had been fascinated to watch the show and see that it had been getting a new family, getting Myka, which had seemingly brought H.G. back to a state where she could be happy. It was an idea Claudia could relate to, given the fact the Warehouse family had become a group of people who meant the world to her.

Outside of the Warehouse, Claudia had Joshua and she had lost Joshua for most of her life. She hadn't had anyone long-term before the Warehouse besides Joshua. Then there had been everyone and - Artie. Artie had become like her father and hearing him say that he had never loved her, that she would never be a woman, that she was the worst person out of any of them had been ripping her foundation out from under her. She knew she stabbed Artie, that it saved him from being possessed... to being infected by a plague and to dealing with mass trauma if everyone survived given the fact he had killed Leena. But those words kept ringing in her ears and bringing questions to her mind about who she was as a person. Given the lack of Warehouse and "normal" lifestyle she had been working to adjust to, most of her skills were irrelevant to the group. She didn't know what the dynamics were anymore and couldn't help but feel like, sometimes, she was viewed as a child by people. It wasn't just the Warehouse people, but as a whole. For a young woman who craved to know that she was loved, it was tearing at something inside of her.