InsaneJournal

Mara stared out of the window onto the castle grounds.

Mara had known that it was a possibility, of course. She knew people had been sent back before and for the first week she'd been here she'd hoped it would be her. But then she'd met Luke and he'd told her their story and they'd started being friends and there was a pang of loss as she realized just how much she'd begun to be attached to him.

She reached a hand up and pushed back a tear. Mara Jade did not cry. There was no sense in it. It wouldn't change anything and was there any point? All of the things that Luke had told her - they were still ahead of her in her time-line, assuming that she ever got sent back herself. Perhaps she felt worse knowing that Luke had been sent back to a time where she... wasn't. And it was less about herself, and more about him.

She could be sad about what might have been here, but there was no point to that. But it could not be helped that she suddenly felt off-balanced, like a weight had been dropped on one side of her body and she couldn't quite shake it and it was effecting every movement she made. Was this how Luke had felt, she wondered, when she had died in his time line? Or had it been ten times what she was feeling now because they had been so much more connected?

Mara had been in the castle room all day mostly because she didn't want to risk running into someone who knew that she and Luke had been friends. She didn't want sympathetic words and glances. She had never wanted that sort of behaviour or offering, and she wanted it even less now. Skywalker had softened her a bit, perhaps, without even meaning to, she'd started opening up a little and letting others in, but now she just wanted to be alone and she didn't need friends. Allies, maybe, but friends? Not so much. She did need a drink - a very strong drink.

She'd drink tonight, wake up with a kriffed hangover, and then clear her mind and go back to life in this Force forsaken place.

And perhaps the library was the place to start. She'd hesitated in looking up anything about her future life while Luke had been here, preferring instead to hear it from him, but now - now it was just information and it was information she wanted.

Mara checked to be sure her lightsaber was on her hip despite the fact that it was not quite as useful as it could be seeing as how she could currently only pull salami out of thin air. She ran a finger over the blaster Skywalker had given her just for a moment before she put it on as well. She'd find the Roadhouse, and hopefully nobody would bother her.