InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Die screaming you pig trollop."

OMFG! Anakin might do ~something~ *pearl clutch* (

Anakin held his head high and stared back at his former master with a bold intensity that could only be born from the Dark Side. Obi-Wan’s words washed over him as if they held no meaning to him. And they didn’t, not now. There were still moments when that pathetic voice in his head, crying out with every swing of his blade and with every body that crumpled to the ground at his hand, broke through the thick, foggy morass clouding his judgment, and glimpses of his former self could be caught behind the hardened cast of his eyes. But like a heel crushing the head of a rodent, his hate ground that voice away to dust and ash that vanished in the coursing wind.

And when he opened his mouth to answer there was nothing left of his former self. “I’ve removed the treason from my new Empire!” His voice was loud, something similar to what he’d been before, but the fury and hatred were palpable. It wasn’t Anakin’s voice that spoke, but Vader’s.

“If you don’t stand with me,” he condemned, “then you are my enemy!” He didn’t wait for a response before he was rushing forward towards his former master, red blade held high.

For a few heart-wrenching seconds Anakin sat perplexed. Then panic set in, mixing with the residual anxiety from the dream, rendering him useless at anything but fragmented thoughts and even less connected sentences.

“Master, please. I thought you kne- I’m not-” he choked out as he scrambled back to his own feet and raised his hand towards Obi-Wan. He meant the gesture as a supplication for compassion, but he readily saw the shadow of Vader in that outstretched hand and clenched his fist and dropped it to his side. He cast his eyes down as he searched for the right thing to say.

How had he not known?! Hadn’t everyone been aware of what was going on?

This, seeing the abject disgust on Obi-Wan’s face, hearing it in his voice – That... that was you? – how he’d emphasized that identification! struck Anakin like a kick to the gut. It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

No, he wanted to scream, that wasn’t me, I’m not that, I will never be that! That’s not me!

But he could not speak it, the words would not come, because he knew the truth that some part of him was that. In some part of his heart, guarded now by a cage of fear and frozen black space, resided that dragon, made of his hate and anger and all that darkness that was intrinsically woven into his very being. That burned like the scorching fury of the core of a star. And if he blinked for a moment or turned his back on it, that monster would break free and consume him. Like it had in the dream. Like it would when he returned home.

He couldn’t deny it was him, because, yes, that was him.

“I’m trying not to be that. I’m trying!” he begged, tears springing to his eyes. In Obi-Wan’s retreating steps he saw his friend recoiling away from him in revulsion. And he wanted that to stop. Just make it stop.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean- If I’d been aware during the dream I would have done everything I could to stop it. Please- I didn't mean to do that to you.”

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