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Myka Ophelia Bering (beringandwells) wrote in makebelievelog,

Myka felt the bed shift as Helena moved to kneel in front of her but it wasn't enough to pull her out of the void her mind had gone through. In her mind she would never be good enough and putting herself through the heartbreak wasn't in the cards for her. A person could only go through but so much before enough was enough. When she felt her lover's hands grip both sides of her head she lifted her eyes to look her in the face. Not that she was given much choice in the matter as Helena was determined to look her in the eye. As Helena spoke, Myka listened intently taking in everything that the other woman said. With every word she began to push her insecurities to the back of her mind. She was being irrational about the situation and coming to irrational conclusions. And all because she was afraid. Afraid of the new experience that being with a woman brought.

The part of Helena's statement that struck Myka the most lay after she had said she'd believed in her. In those words she'd forced her to give up her fears. They would always remain, because as Helena had said, they were going through an adjustment period. It had been so long since she'd been in a relationship that she'd all but forgotten the feeling of starting something new. It had been those feelings in addition to her fears of making love to a woman for the first time that had led to her trying to push Helena away. But her Victorian lover was resilient and wasn't going to give up on them so easily. And that alone made Myka love her even more than she knew that she all ready did. Still unable to fully let go and believe in her lovers words, Myka whispered, "Promise?"