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Myka Ophelia Bering (beringandwells) wrote in makebelievelog,

Myka felt Helena crawl up her body and then lie next to her. She even felt her hair being brushed away from her face. But she couldn't bring herself to turn around and face her lover. Knowing that if she did turn around she would fall apart and the tears would begin to flow. When Helena spoke and pulled her closer to her, Myka lost the control that she had over her tears. Rolling over she buried her face into her lovers neck and began to cry. Crying, because she knew that once Helena learned that she was too inexperienced to truly pleasure her that it would be the beginning of the end. Their relationship had only just begun and now it was surely going to come to an end. Myka was really being irrational with her current train of thought. If she was thinking more clearly she would have realized that Helena wasn't going to leave her. The woman had made it quite clear that she was the reason for her being a better person.

The crux of the problem lay in the fact that quite possibly she hadn't been ready for this. The adrenaline and pain from her nightmare had been so fresh in her mind. Reeling off being incinerated while Helena got to safety had propelled her to initiate their lovemaking. The Victorian woman had all ready shown that her restraint could easily be broken by something that she did. And straddling Helena naked and then laying sprawled out on her back offering her body up had been of no help. If only Myka would think rationally about the situation she would see that her doubts were for naught. In their first round of lovemaking she had mimicked what Helena had done and it was Helena who had climaxed first. As her tears came to a stop she lay there debating whether to say anything or not. If she remained quiet she could hold on to the feeling of her lovers naked body against hers for just awhile longer. Finally she murmured into Helena's skin, "You're going to leave me," she couldn't put off the inevitable any longer.