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Tweak says, "My widdle key."

Padmé Amidala Skywalker (i_cannot_follow) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2012-08-05 18:59:00

Entry tags:

obi-wan kenobi, padme amidala

Who: Padmé and Obi-Wan
What: Discussions of wedding
When: Sunday afternoon, August 5th, 2012
Where: Castle grounds near the lake
Rating/Warnings: Low; will change if necessary
Status: Incomplete/Closed

Padmé normally wouldn't have interrupted a Jedi meditating, but when she spotted the Jedi Master in the midst of her walk, Padmé decided it was a necessity. She didn't know what Obi-Wan was going through. In truth, it was a bit of a headache for her to think about the future. She knew she - died. She knew it was the result of Palpatine twisting Anakin and... while Anakin had pulled himself back from such a state, there was an undeniable sadness to what would be held once she returned to her own galaxy. She would hide her marriage, conceive in secrecy, give birth in secrecy, and die. Her grandmother would die in an attempt to keep Luke and Leia's survival a secret... and the list of tragic deaths went on and on.

But she couldn't find it in herself to dwell on such things. If she was only going to have a limited future then, if there was nothing she could do to change her fate and the galaxy's fate, she wanted to have a positive life in the moment. She had been able to meet and start befriending her son. That meant a lot to her. But - she couldn't begin to imagine Obi-Wan Kenobi's stance and what he was struggling with.

Anakin had wanted him at the wedding, all the same, and Padmé wanted him there as well. She felt an obligation to offer the invitation, even if he didn't accept it. "Apologies for interrupting, Master Kenobi, but may I have a word?"

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do_what_i_must
2012-08-06 09:48 pm UTC (link)

Obi-Wan had headed out of the castle earlier in the morning, after grabbing a quick breakfast, and settled down against one of the larger trees on the castle grounds. He could sense the age of the tree, and how deep it was rooted in the ground, and if he leant against it as he meditated, he could use the maturity and sense of belonging he found there to help ground himself. It was incredibly relaxing, he found, and although it couldn't replace actual sleep, he felt that it helped a little.

He had decided against digging through his own memories for a short while, preferring to simply drift within what he could sense around him, and so he had felt her approaching through the Force long before she arrived. He swam up through the layers of meditation and blinked his eyes open just as she was finished speaking. "I thought we agreed that you were to call me Obi-Wan, Senator," he teased gently, before climbing to his feet.

"Of course you may. Would you like to sit, or would you prefer to continue your walk while we talk?" he asked.

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i_cannot_follow
2012-08-07 06:42 am UTC (link)

Padmé smiled faintly at the teasing. "I suppose it's a matter of habit, at this stage. Especially after I went down in age. I called Anakin 'Master Skywalker' before he became younger, too. He rather disliked it." She had also shot at him, but that topic wasn't the first one that Padmé wanted to bring up with Obi-Wan. The burn mark was still in the bricks.

"We can sit, Obi-Wan. Ideally, this topic won't take long to address." Padmé glanced around for a spot besides where Obi-Wan had been sitting. It only took her a few moments to find another spot to sit without being in a spot that would be too dirty. "Anakin and I have been planning a wedding."

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do_what_i_must
2012-08-08 08:00 pm UTC (link)

He actually laughed at what Padmé told him about her younger self. "I called him that as well. Twice, I think. Perhaps three times. And every time I bowed to him, I thought he was going to squirm out of his skin." Not that Anakin's reaction had anything to do with why Obi-Wan had continued to bow to the older Jedi, of course.

Obi-Wan waited for her to sit down before going back to his original seat. He nodded when she mentioned the wedding; he hadn't known they were actively working on it, but they'd been together before everything had fallen into the Sith Hells back home and so it was not a surprise this time round. He didn't know if he was supposed to say anything, though, so he stayed quiet for the time being.

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i_cannot_follow
2012-08-08 08:39 pm UTC (link)

Padmé glanced down and cringed, despite a distinct smile being on her lips and amusement in her eyes. "I - also had my blaster with me. I shot near his head, amidst demanding to know what was going on, during our initial conversation. It sounds like we kept him rather occupied between everything."

"And -" This was a far more sober subject and when it came time to approach it, the smile faded from Padmé's face. "Anakin has told me that there is some - strain, between the two of you. A lack of communication. I know he would have approached you about this subject himself, otherwise. I know he doesn't wish to cause you undue stress."

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do_what_i_must
2012-08-09 12:23 am UTC (link)

Obi-Wan frowned as he watched Padmé and listened to what she was saying. He was not prone to fidgeting, but he found himself fighting the urge to find something to do with his hands as he considered his reply. Leaning back against the tree, he hoped for some of its calmness to help him.

"Anakin... We are not communicating very well, no. But that has nothing to do with this Anakin... Your Anakin. It's the one in my memories that causes undue stress," he admitted with a very small wry smile before reaching up to smooth down his beard.

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i_cannot_follow
2012-08-09 06:05 am UTC (link)

"Memories can be triggered by a number of things. Despite the lake here being a pale shadow compared to the lakes of Naboo, I find myself feeling a little more - home, when I'm near it. I bought a few small fountains that run off of batteries and have them in the rooms. Things to invoke memories. While they're positive memories and chosen provocations on my part, the trigger of memories is hardly voluntary or purposeful." Padmé smiled faintly, looking over at the Jedi Master with no small amount of curiosity as she studied him. He was a good man with a not enviable future. It seemed there were more than enough of those to go around.

"As I said, I know Anakin - my Anakin - doesn't wish to cause you undue stress." Padmé stated cautiously before continuing. "So I must ask, would attending the wedding cause such stress?"

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do_what_i_must
2012-08-09 09:46 pm UTC (link)

He watched Padmé for a few seconds after she asked about his attending their wedding, all manner of thoughts racing through his mind. They were more than familiar to him, though, given the amount of meditating he had done since he had arrived at the castle. As a Jedi, he should not agree to Anakin's marriage at all. It went against everything he had ever been taught, every tenet of his beliefs and his creed. It had led to Anakin's fall and Padmé's death, it had indirectly caused the almost-total destruction of the Jedi Order.

And yet...

And yet, it meant that Luke and Leia were born. It meant that, if Luke's history was Obi-Wan's future, the Jedi would be reborn and all would be well. If he was to follow the will of the Force, then Anakin and Padmé's marriage had to take place, no matter the thoughts of the Council on the matter, and they clearly forbade such things. Master Mundi had only managed to get married because his race was in danger of dying out and it was his duty to do so. This marriage was a love-match instead of duty and so it was against the orders of the Council, yet was clearly the will of the Force.

Obi-Wan had struggled with this dichotomy for many meditation sessions, but now that he was faced with Padmé, it came down to one simple question. Did he want his best friend to be happy? And he found that he did.

"I... would hope not. Is it to be soon?"

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i_cannot_follow
2012-08-09 10:19 pm UTC (link)

Padmé knew when other wording was chosen, rather than a direct "yes" or "no," what it could mean. It was a safe way of saying that more thought may be required and that, regardless, there were no guarantees. She wanted to choose her wording carefully in return as well.

"It is. The tenth, at a spot we've chosen by the lake." Padmé confirmed, studying Obi-Wan as she spoke. "It would be understood if it did, though the resulting feelings wouldn't be desired. If it would not cause such stress, would you consider attending? I know we would be happy to have you there."

Padmé could further question the lack of communication at a later date. For now, simple progress seemed to be a key detail to rely on. She knew that Anakin really did wish for Obi-Wan to be able to share in the day, but Anakin also wanted things to be positive for the Jedi Master. He didn't want to be a cause of upset for Obi-Wan and Padmé, personally, didn't want anything shadowing, looming over her wedding. Even with a good deal to process, she trusted Obi-Wan's ability to know his own limits and to make sure that he made the right decision in coming or not coming to the event.

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