WHO: James and Ginny Potter WHAT: After Teddy's journal entry, Ginny wishes to go and see what's wrong with James. WHERE: the Potters', specifically James' room. WHEN: that same afternoon. RATING: PG STATUS: Complete.
Ever since Ginny read the journal from Teddy she'd been upset. She didn't know how to go about bringing up the topic to her son, but she knew perfectly well that she couldn't let it lie. James was upset about something and even if he didn't want to talk about it, she couldn't, as his mother, let it sit and brood inside him. She wouldn't let it happen. Teddy had warned her that there was a chance of him claming up, and while in the back of her mind she knew it was a possibility, she was convinced that she'd get something out of him.
As the day wore on, it was bothering her more and more. She began questioning whether or not she was a good mother. She began to get the horrible feeling that her son hated her. That he thought she didn't love him. Her stomach actually ached at the very idea and she'd spent most of the day trying her best to keep herself busy as she thought about what to say to James.
Finally, it got to the point where it couldn't be put off anymore. She'd spoken briefly to Harry about it and she'd made up her mind to approach James. She wasn't exactly sure of what she was going to say, but she was praying to Merlin that some Motherly instinct would kick in and help her out.
Walking up the stairs to James's room, she paused briefly outside his door to take a deep breath. The door was open, but she knocked lightly before sticking her head in. "James?" She addressed him almost hesitantly. "Can I come in?"
"An' they're off, looks like Mulroney's got the lead on the Bulgarian Seeker ...." James' voice trailed off when he heard his mum's. "Sure, c'mon, Bulgaria's about to go after the World Cup against Ireland, brilliant stuff." It was, of course, a repeat of the very match his parents had been at, but it was rather unnecessary to say so.
Ginny couldn't help but smile at her boy. She loved that he loved Quidditch as much as she did. She was a bit assured of the fact that he was definitely her and Harry's son. She stepped into the room and knelt down to the figurines that were zooming around.
"Tell the Irish to watch out for Krum." Ginny smirked, leaning to kiss her boy on the head. "Think we can call a timeout so we can talk for a minute?" She asked, hopefully. She kept her voice soft and as non-threatening as she could. She didn't want to frighten him into silence. She needed him to understand that he wasn't in trouble in the slightest.
"Krum's their number one target, naturally," James replied, motioning to the two Beaters waiting by the floor for him. He looked a bit puzzled as to why his mum wanted to talk but then again, this, he figured, was just another thing that mummies did. "Sure." Except -- wait a minute, was he in trouble? His forehead squinched up as he thought about the day and what he had done - at least, what his parents ought to know that he'd done - and found nothing out of the ordinary. Not even the attempt to paint his room Gryffindor red.
"Naturally." Ginny agreed smiling. She checked behind her before taking a seat on the floor, folding her legs in front of her. "C'mere." She grinned, pulling him into her lap. He was getting a bit big to be doing that, but not too big right then. Not for how she wanted...needed this conversation to go.
"James, you know that Mummy loves you, very very much, right?" She asked, taking a deep breath. "And that even though sometimes I yell and get sore about things, it doesn't change the fact that you're my darling boy and I would do anything for you?" She knew how this must sound to him, but she wanted to be clear that he knew this before she could continue.
Uh-oh. Maybe they'd found out about the broken plate from last summer. James looked up at her warily, resettling, his hands still clutching the Chaser. It squeaked in protest when he tightened his grip a little. "Yes," he said cautiously, looking back at the toy as he let it go.
Ginny began to worry about his cautiousness. Merlin, he thought he was in trouble, didn't he? "James, hun, you're not in trouble. I promise." She quickly blurted out.
James relaxed a little, but not by much. "All right," he said agreeably. "D'you want to play then, Mum?"
Ginny let out a small sigh of relief and gave a nod. "Yes, we can play in just one minute. I just want you to know..." She paused trying to figure out how to word this without entirely giving the boy's Uncle away. "If...If you ever have something bothering you...If you're upset or worried or angry with me or Daddy or your brother and sister..." She took another breath and looked down at him, hugging him a bit closer. "I'm always here to listen to you and help you and try and make it all better, yeah?" She hoped that would be enough to get him to at least give her enough to pry at. It was a lot harder to get information out when you were shooting in the dark.
James frowned. Mum was definitely talking rubbish now, and that was weird. Unless it was a girl thing. Sometimes she just had to hug him and Alby and Lily and she and Lily cried over the weirdest things. Daddy had said it was normal for girls, but still.
Wait a moment. No. If you're upset or worried or angry with me or Daddy or your brother or sister...
Alby'd snitched on him. Either that, or Uncle Teddy had. Knowing his uncle, it was more than likely to have been him. James gave a long-suffering sigh. "Mummy. Why are you askin' this?"
The minute he frowned, Ginny knew he was on to her and she had to stop herself from sighing in frustration. She did however, let up on her grip of him a little bit, knowing he was probably getting squirmy and that was never good for him.
"I just...I'm making sure is all, duck, 'cause I love you and I don't want you to be upset or worried or angry." She answered, trying to keep her intentions as innocent sounding as she could. And also taking care to leave Albus and Teddy both out of this. This was about James.
The subject of the conversation, meanwhile, was getting irritated. If he had been the type of boy to unleash fisticuffs upon his brother for doing so, he would have. Instead, James would pace and be even more reckless than usual. "I'm not," he said, in a tone which implied quite the opposite.
"James, honey..." Ginny started, frowning , but not raising her voice. "I just..." Do you hate me? is what she desperately wanted to ask, but she didn't. She didn't want to worry him with her feelings at the moment. "I just want to make sure everything is alright with you..."
James got up, too agitated to sit. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Uncle Teddy oughn't have said nothin', I'm fine."
Ginny kept her spot on the floor and watched her son carefully. Well...if he hadn't been upset before, he certainly was now. "Love, Uncle Teddy thought you might be upset with me and he just...he wanted to be sure that everything was alright. And...and so do I." She was trying her best to hide the hurt and worry in her voice.
James looked at her helplessly, stopping for a minute. "No, Mum. Well. No, you're brilliant, you know that. You an' Dad, s'no one else I'd rather have as parents. Just....sometimes, y'know. Feels a bit like ..." He shook his head. "Never mind. Don't matter."
"Of course it matters, duck!" Ginny protested, reaching out to brush his arm with her fingertips. "C'mon James. You can tell me anythin'. Don't be worried about getting in trouble or anything, love. I'm not going to be mad at you." She assured him softly.
James looked at her warily; he couldn't help it. Part of it was guilt, because Alby couldn't help being sick sometimes, and really, it was unfair of him to get annoyed with his little brother for only trying to keep him out of trouble. But sometimes, it was really, really unfair. "Feels a bit like you like him better," he mumbled, shrugging out of reach. "Cause he don't get in trouble as much. An' ...an' cause he always goes to you with everythin'."
Ginny's heart sank and she shook her head moving to pull her boy back into a hug. "James I certainly do not like Albus better than you." She assured him. "I love you both so much and the reason he doesn't get in trouble is because he doesn't go off on nearly as many dangerous adventures as someone I know." She smiled into the last bit a little, giving him a small tickle. "Love, you and Alby...you're very different. But that doesn't mean I love either one of you more or less than the other! It just means that I love you in different ways. I don't want you to ever think that I could possibly not love you with my whole heart, darling." She could feel herself welling up and wondered vaguely when exactly it was that she went so soft and allowed herself to get choked up about things.
He let out a breath; whether it was a relieved sigh or not, he wasn't telling. James just hugged her back, and then pulled away to smile at her. That smile faded a little when he realised her eyes had that extra shiny look which meant tears. "No, Mum," he said, alarmed. "I didn't mean to make you---you're not cryin'?"
Ginny let out a bit of a laugh, despite the misty eyes she was trying to fight off. "No, honey. I'm not...It's not that, I promise." She said, wiping quickly at her eyes before giving him a quick kiss on the head. "Now," She said determinedly, "I believe we have a Quidditch Cup to finish." She grinned and picked up one of the chasers, letting him kick off of her hand before zooming around.
James hesitated, giving her another look which said he didn't quite believe it, before retrieving the other chasers and the rest of the team and nudging them towards Ginny. "You play Bulgaria, Mum," he encouraged.
"Alright love. But, you know, don't go easy on me just because I'm old like yeah?" she teased lightly, encouraging the rest of her team to take air. She ruffled James's hair playfully before smirking at him a little. "Ready?"
"Ready!" James positioned his players, trying to cheer up as much as he was putting on, and forget the conversation. "Ireland starts the match..."