Though she was hoping that Mellie would catch on, it clearly wasn't registering with her. "No.. he.." she took a deep breath. "Ulric is Flynras' father. I.. I never got around to telling Ulric.. anything. That I was pregnant, or that I had the baby, or that he died. And this wasn't how I wanted to tell him, and I.. completely fucked up. Again." Again and again. She couldn't really stop doing it. There was always someone she was disappointing. Her sister. Ulric. Ros was just a disappointing mess.
If Ulric hadn't been on his way to leave, she probably would have got up and left too. As it was, she was concentrating on her drink, more than anything else. She couldn't look up at either one of them. There was too much shame at all of the things that she had done, or hadn't done. Her lack of action cost her dearly, and it never really stopped.
Maybe this whole trying to make amends thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Perhaps skulking away again was better for everyone in the long run.
Flynras would have been disappointed in her as a mother.
"Sorry," she murmured again, taking a very long drink.