Fic: 'No Angels Here' (Reaper, gen, PG-13, 1/1) Title: No Angels Here Fandom: Reaper Characters: Sock, Ben Word Count: 467 Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: 2x04, 'The Favorite' Challenge: N/A Warnings: N/A Disclaimer: No one mentioned belongs to me. Summary:"Where's my sweet demon lovin'? When is something hot 'n' scaly gonna pass Socky's way?"
No Angels Here
"You know what I don't get?" said Sock, clanging his spoon against the top of his kitchen table.
"How the Yankees have that enormous payroll and still can't manage to get into the playoffs?" offered Ben thoughtfully, correctly guessing it would be a good idea to deter Sock from whatever demented thing he was about to say.
Sock grinned with something akin to crazy pride. Or maybe just crazy. "Look at you, Benji, with your sports knowledge, all like a real man and such--" He bashed Ben's bicep, face turning serious. "But no. I was thinking about how you're getting some steamy underworld ass--"
"You think about me in bed?" said Ben, horrified.
"The concept, Ben, not the actual deed. Dude. But yeah, you've got Nina, who's kind of a looker in the lady business, if you ignore the fact that she has horns--"
"Hey, lay off, that's my woman you're talking about."
"--and Andi's banging the son of Satan," Sock continued obliviously. "Where's my sweet demon lovin'? When is something hot 'n' scaly gonna pass Socky's way?"
"There's always Gladys," said Ben.
"So not cool," said Sock, pointing at Ben accusingly as though the gesture could send him straight to hell.
"Just saying. She's up for it. Offered to throw one my way."
"She did not."
"Besides, I think she likes you. Mention the part where you tried to sleep with your sister, I think that'd seal the deal."
Sock looked offended. "Step! Step, step, step step step, step-sister, Benjamin, get it right," he said, flustered.
"Whatever. Anyway, you can do worse than Gladys. She seems like she might be a little kinky." Ben smirked at him.
"Of course she's kinky, she's hellspawn."
"Fallen angel." Sock stared blankly, not comprehending, wondering for a minute if Ben was starting to get a little romantically misty-eyed over their favorite DMV employee. Off his blank look, Ben clarified, "Demons are angels who were kicked out of Heaven."
"Really?" Sock stroked his beard. "Interesting."
Ben eyed him. "You're not seriously considering this, are you? It's Gladys."
"You and Andi are both getting some freaky-freaky, and all I've got is my oldest friend," said Sock, holding his hand aloft.
Ben swatted it back to the counter top. "Dude, I don't want to know!"
"Oh, what." Sock, as ever, was completely unabashed.
"You know what, we're not talking about this anymore." Ben got to his feet. "If you wanna be weird and gross, that's your business. But you're not getting a ride from me."
"You don't even have a car," Sock called after him. But Ben was already out the door. And it was probably just as well. "Gladys," he smirked to himself disbelievingly, drumming his fingers on the table. Drummed. Stopped. Stared.