Fic: 'Can't Explain' (Freaks and Geeks, gen, PG, 1/1) Title: Can't Explain Fandom: Freaks and Geeks Characters: Ken, Nick, Daniel Word Count: 1840 Rating: PG Spoilers: up through 1x14, 'Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers' Challenge: N/A Warnings: N/A Disclaimer: No one mentioned belongs to me. Summary: Ken isn't sure how or when Lindsay ended up being his friend, but he doesn't want to lose her as one because Nick's obsessed.
Can't Explain
Ken liked Lindsay. He wasn't sure when or how this happened. Lindsay wasn't his type of person. To hang out with. Ever. In the beginning, she was just this annoying chick who was obviously hot for Daniel, and started following them around. She was always talking about her dad's store, or something she heard about in class, or making that little squeezed face she did whenever she wasn't sure if she'd said 'the right thing' or not. It was amusing for all of about five minutes, and then Ken had gotten bored. And annoyed.
Then there had been the Nick thing. Holy crap, the Nick thing. Breaking up the band, not that Ken really cared, because he liked listening to music, but what they did wasn't really music, not that he'd ever say it, because Nick always too it way too seriously, and the guy was borderline unhinged. But he was mellow as long as he got to play the drums, which Lindsay had made into work, and had ruined everything for everyone. And all for the sake of making out with Nick, which made even less sense than wanting to make out with Daniel. Daniel had that brooding bad boy thing going on, and Nick was just... well, who knew what the hell Nick was. That had been a messy few weeks where Ken was forbidden from ever saying anything about Nick's precious girlfriend, all the while straddling the line between wishing they'd just dump Lindsay, collectively, from their lives, and praying that she'd never dump Nick, because Ken really didn't want a repeat of Heidi Henderson. Nick was an insufferable prick when he was in a relationship, but even that was better than the alternative.
But after that was over, and when it was obvious she'd never get in Daniel's pants, either (Lindsay was a lot of things, but she wasn't the sort of girl who'd screw with another girl's boyfriend, and she was too smart to ever cross Kim), she still hung out with them. That was the part that Ken didn't get. Lindsay might've lost her Mathlete friends, but she was still an honor roll, straight-A geek. They were pretty much loser burnouts (which had never really bothered Ken until he'd had something to compare it to). It wasn't like this fact had somehow miraculously escaped Lindsay's attention, what with her parents and that one weird religious chick constantly telling her what horrible fornicating wasted loser bad influences they were. And it wasn't like they were even nice to her ever. But she still hung out with them.
Somewhere along the way, Ken started to like her. He thought it did Kim some good to hang out with a chick, and Lindsay was infinitely better than Karen Scarfoli. Plus, she was really good at laying into them, on the rare occasions when she let her guard down enough to do it. She was sort of funny. He liked that sometimes she took them all by surprise. As a group, they generally weren't very surprising.
Nick's stupid 'Lady L' song was the worst thing that had ever happened to music, and Ken was still in the habit of going to the lame disco downtown and yelling at the dancers, so he knew a thing or two about music that sucked. He could just imagine Lindsay's horrified expression if Nick ever managed to play it for her. He couldn't imagine the shitstorm that might follow. Kim would get pissed, Nick would get depressed, Daniel would... whatever, and Lindsay would probably be too embarrassed to ever speak to any of them again. Ken wanted to laugh, but he didn't really blame her. He was pretty embarrassed for her, too. And for Nick. And for himself.
"Seriously, man, don't play this to her," said Ken when Nick was finally done butchering his eardrums.
"What?"
"Don't do it. I'm - I'm not even close to kidding here, man. I'm begging you as your friend. Don't make the same mistake twice. Don't play that to her. It's very bad."
Nick stared at him blankly, not getting it. "What's wrong?"
He knew Nick was never going to understand. He probably thought this was some hugely romantic gesture or something, the thing guaranteed to make Lindsay love him. Ken had pretty much never had a girlfriend, but even he was smart enough to know that writing an awful song about how a girl broke his heart was not going to magically make her jump him. Nick lived in his own freaking world sometimes.
"You know what?" said Nick. "As long as I'm using my real emotions, that's all that matters."
"That's where you're wrong," said Ken decisively. "It's creepy." The Heidi thing? The not-stalking and the restraining order, that had been pretty out of control. But this? All right, Heidi Henderson was kind of a bitch, and none of them had really liked her. But Lindsay was pretty cool, for someone who was so not-cool. And not that Ken would ever, ever admit it, but she deserved better than this, than Nick's puppy dog eyes and constant bitching and creepy songs.
"It's not creepy," said Nick, "it's love."
Ken threw up his hands. "Whatever, man. It's your freaking funeral. But don't say I didn't warn you."
All of the Daniel and Kim drama was more than enough couple crap, as far as Ken was concerned. But at least then they were doing their thing, it didn't really affect his life. Daniel might bitch a bit, but he was at least sane. And Kim was freaking crazy, but she was smart enough to at least leave Ken the hell alone. Nick moped for weeks and didn't care who he sucked into his spiral of misery. It might even have been okay, since half the time all he wanted to do was smoke, but it wasn't like he ever shared. So Ken was starting to get a little tired of it.
Still, since Kim and Lindsay were feeling all guilty about killing that religious chick's dog, they weren't around much for most of the week, and Ken had been beginning to think that Nick had forgotten all about his 'songwriting'. He didn't bring it up, which was a huge relief. Ken thought maybe for once something he said had sunk in, and Nick was starting to get the hell over it. Until he brought his guitar to the Who bus.
"What the hell, man?"
"I'm supporting the music, man," said Nick, strumming. "Is that against the law?"
"The way you do it, yeah it is."
"You know what, man, just shut up."
"You should just name the damn guitar Lindsay, the way you carry it around everywhere."
"Seriously. Shut up."
"I will if you will," said Ken, getting up. "I'm getting a damn beer."
Daniel jabbed at a hot dog with a fork. A jet of flame shot out of the barbecue, making Ken jump. "Do you even know what you're doing?" Although, if he was ever going to be set on fire, he wouldn't be surprised if it was because of Daniel.
"It's a hot dog, man. I don't need to be freaking smart as Lindsay to work a grill."
"Could you, could you please not mention Lindsay?" Ken groaned and twisted his beer in a death grip. "I can't take it anymore."
"What, you mean 'Lady L'?" Daniel smirked.
"You know what, I'm not even - I'm not even joking, man, I think I want to kill Nick."
Daniel just stared at him from behind his sunglasses.
"I mean, isn't it driving you crazy, too?"
"I dunno. He's Nick, man, this is just what he's like. He'll get over it eventually."
"I wish it was a hell of a lot sooner. I mean, it's just Lindsay."
"What are you talking about, man, Lindsay's great."
"Yeah, maybe, but she's not great enough to write a song about."
Daniel shrugged and drank his beer. "It's not that great of a song." He pointed with his bottle at something behind Ken. "I think we're going to get a repeat performance."
Ken looked. Lindsay and Nick were sitting together. Nick was holding his guitar. None of this was good. "Crap," said Ken. "Man, The Who had better be awesome for all I have to put up with." Without so much as a warning, he hurried over just in time to hear the opening notes to the stupid 'Lady L' song he would never, ever be able to get out of his head. He grabbed the guitar and did the only thing that made sense: he smashed the hell out of it. He hoped that trashing the guitar would eliminate the song from existence, but no such luck. He could still hear it in his head. His only comfort was that Lindsay was still in the dark. Lucky bitch.
Nick stalked over and wrenched a battered guitar neck from Ken's hands.
"This is the biggest favor I ever did for you," Ken said.
"You're buying me a new guitar, man," said Nick, kicking the pavement.
"Small price to pay," said Ken, watching Nick dejectedly shuffle off to get a beer. He wasn't just doing this for Nick, he was doing it for Lindsay, too. For all of them, actually. Things were pretty okay the way they were right now, actually, with all of them. Besides, Lindsay had done that whole thing with talking to Amy for him, so he owed her. And now they were even.
"Seriously, man, I don't think you even know how stupid you're being."
"Oh, I'm stupid?" said Nick. "It's not stupid to feel feelings, okay, Ken? If you ever had some feelings, maybe you would know that."
"I have feelings," said Ken. "I feel like you're making an ass out of yourself."
"I..." Nick sputtered, "I just... you don't get it, man."
Ken gestured at Lindsay, hustling down the street. "The only thing I get is that she's leaving, and that's before you even played your song. Give it up, man."
"She's leaving? Aw, you're kidding!" The guitar fragments in Nick's hand drooped to scrape the pavement.
It was hard to say who Ken felt worse for. Lindsay had no idea what to expect, since Nick was clearly crazy, and it was clear that she felt bad about this one thing she didn't have all the freaking answers to. But what she didn't see was the heartbreak Ken saw at that exact moment, just another screw up for Nick, a guy who did pretty much nothing but screw up. Ken slapped Nick's arm. "C'mon, have another beer. It's what Townshend would do."
"Yeah." Nick kicked at the wood littering the street. "I'm a better drummer, anyway."
"You aren't kidding about that."
"Aw... shut up, man," said Nick, but he was smiling, so Ken guessed that meant he was okay. For now. These things went good and bad, just like with Daniel and Kim, so Ken just had to be thankful he'd narrowly avoided complete disaster. For now, anyway.