Fic: 'Welcome to the Jungle' (Stargate Atlantis, gen, PG, 1/1) Title: Welcome to the Jungle Fandom: Stargate Atlantis Characters: Carter, Keller Word Count: 2011 Rating: PG Spoilers: Keller background spoilers from 4x07, 'Missing'; takes place post-4x03, 'Reunion' Disclaimer: No one mentioned belongs to me. Summary: Keller is apprehensive about her job, but finds a kindred spirit in her new boss.
Welcome to the Jungle
Jennifer Keller used to be a nonentity. Her name had only really been known to the low-priority science personnel, the sort with minor burns and repeat performances. She'd come in on the second Daedalus personnel run and highly doubted anyone really knew her name.
Carson Beckett, on the other hand, wasn't a nonentity, and his death had been the biggest and worst thing to happen in the city at least since Jennifer had been there. Subsequently, Jennifer's sudden and unexpected (and slightly unwarranted) promotion had vaulted her from being a nonentity to the most talked-about person in the city of Atlantis.
The gift and the curse of that, however, was that no news was talked about all that long, since there was something more dramatic down the line. And the most dramatic thing to happen to the city this week chose to sit across from Jennifer at lunch.
"Colonel Carter," Jennifer pronounced awkwardly, taken aback by her presence. "Is everything okay?"
"Apparently I'm expected to eat, too," Carter said with a tired-looking smile. "You don't mind if I join you, do you? I have to get to know all the department heads and I already know Rodney a little better than I'd like to."
"Okay, sure," said Jennifer. It didn't seem like a good idea to refuse the new commander, seeing as how she was so new herself, and knew Colonel Carter by reputation only.
Jennifer was hoping for some words of wisdom from the colonel, and as the minutes wore on, actually praying for them. She was beginning to realize the two of them were in a very similar situation, thrust into these positions, replacing beloved leaders, with all eyes on them. Jennifer could've done with some guidance.
What Carter said, though, was, "Are these real French fries?"
Jennifer blinked helplessly, and when she recovered, said, "Yes. As close as they can get, anyway, they're not really potatoes."
Carter nodded and popped one in her mouth. "You know, I've been here a week, and I keep forgetting it's not the SGC."
"You spent ten years there," Jennifer prompted, trying to sort out what was truth and what was rumor.
"Roughly. I was working out of Area 51 for awhile, plus I logged some time doing deep-space recon on the Prometheus, I think about eight months altogether. They're pretty good." Jennifer's expression must have illustrated her confusion plainly, because the colonel saw need to clarify, "The fries."
"Oh. Right."
"How long have you been here?" Carter asked, which Jennifer couldn't tell if it was a casual getting-to-know-you comment, or a very subtle interrogation. Carter managed to get the question in between bites, but at least she chewed and swallowed fully before speaking.
"Probably about a year and a half now, I think," Jennifer said.
"Leave anyone behind?"
"Just my dad." Jennifer hefted a shoulder. "He thinks I'm doing AIDS research in Africa." It wasn't so much that she minded feeding her father a cover story, but she had the inkling that when the nondisclosure agreement turned irrelevant and the expedition became public knowledge, he'd be disappointed his little girl hadn't actually developed any cures.
Now she felt guilty in addition to being nervous. Great. Anxious to steer the conversation away from her before she ended up telling Carter her entire life story starting with cutting the streamers off Julie Berlin's pink bicycle when she was five, she asked, "You? Leaving anyone behind, I mean." Despite her stumble, she was pleased to note she didn't sound like a crazy person.
Carter frowned a bit, like she was thinking of how best to phrase it. "Some friends, some family. Some people who are both."
"But at least you already know people here."
"I can't figure out if that makes it better or worse," said Carter. She smiled weakly, more of a reflexive gesture for show than anything else. "I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that Elizabeth was my friend, too. I didn't just skip merrily along to replace her, you know. It is an assignment."
Jennifer was surprised. Carter wasn't being particularly vehement, but it was still a very personal insight that Jennifer hadn't been expecting. This, after all, was their first real discussion. "Mine, too," she said. "I didn't ask for this. Everyone thinks I'm too young to do the job." A bout of anxiety hit her, one with the briefest undercurrent of hope. If she could somehow make her case to Colonel Carter, maybe the woman would find someone else to appoint as CMO. Dr. Biro, maybe, or maybe she'd bring in someone from Earth like Dr. Weird had suggested. "I'm not qualified to run an entire department," Jennifer pointed out, feeling calmer now that she had a plan. "I don't know why Elizabeth appointed me—"
"Elizabeth appointed you because she had faith in you," Carter said abruptly. "And around here, trust and faith means a lot. Especially coming from her." Although she hadn't been cold, she perhaps realized how intense she'd been, and softened. "If you're thinking about changing my mind, appointing someone else instead of you, you might as well stop now. My goal isn't to undo anything Elizabeth did while she was in charge, no matter what my superiors think. For better or for worse, Atlantis is just going to have to deal with the both of us in charge."
Jennifer felt her face heating. She was a little embarrassed to be caught in what she realized was a fairly transparent ruse, but on the other hand, it hadn't hurt to try.
Colonel Carter lay her utensils down on her tray and rose out of her chair smoothly. "Come on. I have a few more things I'd like to discuss with you, and this conversation's already too personal for the mess hall."
Okay, so they were taking the awkward confessions on tour. "Right," said Jennifer belatedly, getting to her feet with a nice accompaniment of metal chair legs scraping the floor. Today seemed to be a day for drawing attention to herself. Just like any other day, she supposed.
Carter's office seemed to be in the 'still moving in' state, with the familiar tribal masks on the walls. Jennifer wasn't sure why they'd still be up: maybe Carter didn't know they'd been Dr. Weir's, maybe she thought they looked nice, maybe she was just unaware that everyone associated them with Dr. Weir. Maybe she thought the assignment was temporary and there was little sense in redecorating. She had, however, brought in a few of her own items, which Jennifer couldn't help examining, eager to have anything to do. A silver-haired man peered back at her from beyond a plain wooden frame. "Is this..." Jennifer began, but trailed off before she had a chance to finish. She had meant to say 'your dad' out of instinct, but on closer examination, she wasn't sure he was old enough.
Carter glanced from Jennifer to the picture and back to Jennifer again before nodding curtly and looking away. "Yes."
There was clearly something Jennifer was missing on this one. Something Carter seemed to think she already knew. She wished she'd paid better attention to the gossip about Colonel Carter the times it had passed around the medical department; all she knew was that she was a member of SG-1 at Stargate Command back home. Jennifer had been shipped out on the Daedalus and had never seen the inside of Stargate Command. She felt horribly clueless sometimes, and set the picture frame back down. "Do you miss him?" she asked.
"Mmm. Well, it's not as though we haven't been separated before," said Carter, her eyes landing on the photo. "Still, I have to remind myself periodically that it's not as easy as boarding a plane to D.C. anymore." She pulled an pained sort of expression, making Jennifer feel uncomfortable even though Carter was the one who'd accidentally said too much this time.
"No, I guess not. So," she coughed, "what did you want to discuss?"
"I was just hoping you could get me up to speed on your staff, is all. I've got all sorts of paperwork and evaluations to look through, but to be honest, I don't think I'm all that good at this bureaucratic stuff."
"Me neither," Jennifer admitted with some relief.
"I always figured that if I was going to be sent to Atlantis on any sort of semi-permanent basis, they'd hide me away in a lab somewhere," shrugged Carter. "In fact, I'd prefer it. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
"Maybe they thought they could keep a better eye on you this way," suggested Jennifer, then blushed as soon as she processed what she'd said and what it had implied.
To her surprise, though, Carter just smiled a little. "SG-1's reputation precedes us, huh?"
"No, no," Jennifer backpedaled. "I don't... I didn't mean anything by it. I don't really follow the things people are saying..." Which, she realized, indicated that people were in fact gossiping.
Carter laughed. "It's fine, Dr. Keller, really. I'm used to it."
Jennifer made a face. "What a crappy thing to get used to."
"Tell me about it. But I usually have better things to do than worry what people are saying about me."
If Jennifer had been looking for any sort of advice to walk away with, she figured that was it.
"I've had to prove myself pretty much my entire life," murmured Carter. "I'm a female soldier and a female scientist. My father was a noted general. Most people were under the assumption that any position I was assigned, I didn't deserve, or I'd gotten through... other means. So it was a struggle. And it's still a struggle, and it's probably never going to not be a struggle, but I've learned to separate out the things I don't care about."
"Colonel Carter?" The voice came in time with a knock, and both women glanced over to find Chuck the technician standing there. "Major Lorne's team is ready to head out, ma'am."
"Thanks, I'll be right there." Chuck left without having to be asked, and Carter looked at Jennifer. "Sorry, I have to go. Can we pick this up later?"
Jennifer privately wondered which conversation Carter had in mind, though she suspected it was the business one. Still, she liked Carter, respected her, was interested in hearing more of what she had to say, if she was willing to impart it. She looked as tired as Jennifer felt. And maybe she needed a friend, too. "Yeah, sure," she said. "How's dinner?"
"I have—" began Carter, but Jennifer held up her hand.
"Don't make me make it doctor's orders."
"All right. But don't get too upset if I end up dragging work around with me. I'm already up to my ears in paperwork, it seems."
"What's a little paperwork between friends?" asked Jennifer casually, but once she processed what she'd said, she wanted to kick herself. She and Colonel Carter weren't friends. They barely even knew each other. "I mean, everyone here has lots of work to do, anyway."
But Carter surprised her yet again, with an easy smile and an easier, "That's true. So you won't mind?"
"No. It'll be like, a study session." Jennifer grinned. "Haven't had one of those since med school."
"Now, is that a step forward or a step backward?" asked Carter rhetorically, rising. "All right, job to do. I'll see you later, Dr. Keller."
"Jennifer," Jennifer blurted.
Carter paused at the doorway and looked back at her. "Jennifer," she acknowledged with a bright smile.
Jennifer knew she wasn't doing anyone any favors by lurking around the boss's office when the boss wasn't around. She beat a hasty retreat for the relative safety of the infirmary, but it was with the tiniest of bounces in her step. Nothing had changed, really. And as long as she had this job, probably nothing would. There was going to be a lot of attention, whether she wanted it or not. At least she no longer felt alone.