Fic: 'Trapped In the Drive-Thru' (Stargate SG-1/Atlantis, John/Vala, PG-13, 1/1) Title: Trapped In the Drive-Thru Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1 Characters: John/Vala Word Count: 978 Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: N/A Challenge:obsessivemuch: Shep and Vala at a Starbucks drive-through Disclaimer: No one mentioned belongs to me. [Title borrowed from Weird Al song of the same name.] Summary: John really can't take Vala anywhere.
Trapped In the Drive-Thru
"I don't see why I couldn't drive," said Vala.
"Because you don't have a license, because you're not from this planet, and because frankly, you scare me." John edged closer to the bumper for the maroon minivan in front of them and wondered if it could squeeze beneath the sign for the drive through. "Do you need me to go on?"
"No, you've made yourself quite clear," she said, sinking back in her seat with her arms crossed defiantly. John tried not to smirk, judging from her childlike pout and the way her pose pushed her breasts up in a way that was subtly unsubtle, he got the feeling she wasn't pissed at all.
"Know what you want yet?" he asked.
Vala tried to hold the act longer, but she eventually lost to the lure of the Starbucks drive through menu. She balanced herself awkwardly on the stick shift and pressed her body against John's to look at the window. "What's espresso?"
"If you don't know what it is, you don't want it," he said.
Vala blinked up at him with faux-innocence, her eyes dark. "Oh, but I think I do."
The idea of the tempestuous Vala fueled on caffeine gave him the chills. She'd be like a tsunami with a dose of cream and sugar. "Hey, the pumpkin spice lattes are back on the menu," he said, unnaturally loud in a sad attempt to defer her. "Try those, they're good."
"Pumpkin?" Vala pulled back slightly and made a face as if John had personally offended her. "No, thank you. That is disgusting."
"When have you had pumpkin?"
"They have pies in the cafeteria." She was back to eying the menu, and John tried not to focus too terribly on the press of her soft curves against him. He was, after all, perilously close to the minivan in front of him, and wouldn't everyone just love it if he got some kind of driving citation. Vala gripped his thigh for better balance and he swallowed hard.
"You can't trust the stuff in the cafeteria to be representative at all of Earth cuisine," he said. "Get the latte."
"Are you buying?" she asked, her breath hot against his neck and her grin very telling.
"You don't have money," he pointed out.
"That is hardly my fault, John."
"Don't give me that look. I don't run payroll. Yes, I'm buying."
"Okay. Pumpkin latte it is." She kissed his cheek, which somehow managed to be both too much and too little, and sat back down. "And can I get a muffin?"
"You're very demanding, did you know that?" John inched forward in the line. "No wonder Dr. Jackson was so eager to get rid of you..."
Vala poked his shoulder. "Daniel was so eager to get rid of me because I was going to mount you in his office, and he does not take kindly to that sort of behavior."
"Who does?" John asked rhetorically, trying to draw to mind this specific instance and sadly coming up with nothing.
"I was rather hoping you would," she said.
"I don't even remember what you're talking about."
"I'm losing my touch, then. Perhaps I can..." and there was her hand on his leg again, damn it, "jog your memory?"
Not while they were in the drive through and the barista was bleating through a haze of static asking what he wanted. John put in his order, Vala hissing alterations at him all the while. "You're worse than Rodney," he complained, pulling ahead those extra two inches. A white pick-up at the pay window was taking their sweet time.
"I am not. He's insufferable."
"Whereas you're a breath of fresh air?"
"What say we pull over and I demonstrate how very unlike Rodney I can be?" she suggested, tickling her fingers under his t-shirt sleeve.
"I'm boxed in here, Vala," he said helplessly of the line.
"I like a challenge."
John wasn't about to question his good fortune, really, but all he said was, "Just get my wallet." It wasn't until she dove for his back pocket that he realized the error of this plan. "Hey! Vala, be gentle!"
"Well there's not much fun in that, is there?" she asked, handing over his wallet.
"Oh, trust me, when we get out of here, I'm going to have all sorts of fun with you..." he began.
Vala's mischievous grin had disappeared in favor of the innocent sort of smile she usually gave the cafeteria worker to get extra helpings of the pie she apparently hated. She waved at something over John's shoulder, and he realized his window was still open and the barista had heard everything. He pasted on a smile and passed her a twenty. "Hi."
The barista unceremoniously passed him his change and drinks, and John hit the gas, glad to hightail it out of there with some modicum of his dignity still in tact.
Oh, who was he kidding, really. Decorum and restraint weren't exactly words in his vocabulary where Vala was concerned and he was quite all right with that. Vala had already settled the cardboard drink holder on the floor when the car came to a stop in the parking lot behind the Barnes & Noble. "Come here," John said, pulling her over.
-
"You guys are just getting back?" Dr. Jackson asked later, running into John and Vala in front of the elevator. "I thought you just went to get coffee. You left two hours ago."
John readjusted his grip around his completely full and completely cold grande cup. "Long line," he said.
Vala nodded vigorously beside him. "Very."
Daniel decided they weren't worth it. "Okay, whatever." He held open the doors so the two of them could get in, then headed off down the hall. Vala turned to John brightly.