InsaneJournal

Who: Rose Tyler and The Doctor
Where: The park.
When: Saturday, November 9. Evening.
What: Rose finds a TARDIS / The Doctor's back
Warnings: Sad Doctor face
Status: Completed gdoc


It had only been a couple of days, and it wasn't like the 'old days', where they spent nearly every possible moment together. But Madison Valley felt so much quieter without the Doctor. There was so much personality in him that the air around the city just seemed to buzz with a constant energy. And even if they'd never be as close as they once were, she still truly and genuinely loved him.

She had known the possibility was there. Apparently they had both been there before. It was perfectly possible for them to both be taken back, too. Everyone said if his things were still there, he would return. It had worked with Kate, after all. So yeah, Rose had technically broken in. And technically yes, all of his little half finished projects, his poor destroyed television, and a rather impressive collection of hats had sat waiting for their owner to return.

It still felt...empty.

When she locked up Stature that night, Rose wasn't quite ready to head home. Gwen was nearly an adult and could survive a little longer without her and Shadow was probably working late so no reason to go bother him, either. She went the long way home, cutting through the park to enjoy the view. It was a calming sort of place.

When she first heard the familiar sound, she thought sure she was hallucinating. Or maybe it was someone's toy. That was possible around here and it never got less weird. But she heard it again. And then louder. That was impossible, though. Wasn't it?

***

River was right, of course. One psychopath per TARDIS. And that’s what he was. He kept letting this happen. All those wonderful people. They were all so good. And yet his own selfishness, his ego kept letting this happen. If he hadn’t been so selfish maybe -

Amy. Amelia Pond. Gone forever. Not truly, no. But to him. He would never see her again. And despite her words, he knew being alone was better than this. Anything was better than this. Now that River was gone, he was going to choose for himself for a while. No silly adventures. No companions put in harm's way. None of it. When setting a course he hadn’t given much thought to it beyond getting away from that place. Somewhere far away.

It wasn’t long before the TARDIS became erratic, and he was thrown around the control room, grabbing the handles of the viewing screen in an effort to stay upright. “What are you doing?” he asked loudly, banging his hand against the side of the screen until it gave him a view outside.

He was hurtling straight towards tree tops and what looked like a park beneath it, and it was only at the last moment he was able to take control and avoid them, the TARDIS coming to land on the grass with an ominous, reverberating clanging that rang through its vast expanse, even as the brakes made their signature sound.

The Doctor pulled himself out of the chair he’d been thrown into on landing, taking hold of the monitor again. It was a park. Just an ordinary, everyday run of the mill park. And yet...no. He knew this park.

He was back.

***

Rose honestly could only stand there in shock for several moments. As many times as she'd prayed to whatever deity would listen that the Doctor would return, she hadn't dared hope for this. But there she was. Hopefully complete with one Doctor.

Before she even stepped any closer, Rose took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Literally anything could be in there. He might not be alone, for one. This city already had a handful of his prior traveling companions. She wasn't sure who came after Clara, none of them knew. But she did know who came before and she wouldn't be opposed to meeting Amy or Rory.

But the bigger concern was what Doctor was inside. She didn't even have it in her to hope for...well, one of her Doctors. She had given up that dream long ago. But the one who had left...well, she had already grown attached. And she missed him. Oh, she would learn to love the next, she always did. And if it was the Eleventh regeneration, what state was he going to be in?

She stepped up to the TARDIS, touching the exterior gently. The familiar energy that always buzzed through her reached her, and Rose couldn't help but exhale peacefully. Whatever he had been through, the two of them were together now. And Rose knew the TARDIS would support him through it. Just like she would. "You planning on coming out? I'm more terrifying than an army of Huns and you know it."

***

Rose. Of anyone he assumed was still there, maybe Rose was the easiest. She knew him better than most of them did. All of them, really. And though he’d met Clara, or not Clara, that had only been briefly. And was something to think about later. Because that was impossible, but there she’d been.

He approached the door slowly, hesitating as he took the handle. Would it really be so bad to hide inside forever? He had everything he needed. And he knew, once he’d opened that door, there’d be no closing it again. Not really. The world outside would spill in and no matter how hard he tried he wouldn’t be able to avoid it.

He opened the door.

***

Well. At least it was one she knew. Knew now, anyway. Still had all his major limbs. Wasn't wearing any ridiculous new outfit or worse, hat. Physically, he seemed alright.

Mentally? Emotionally? They had time to work on that.

She offered a small smile. No reason to pounce him, even though it was absolutely her first instinct. "I see you brought company." And God, she'd missed her. Not as much as the Doctor, of course, and she had learned to live without her. But there was a connection there she knew she would never fully shake.

***

His eyes moved over her briefly, for the reassurance. Honestly she looked the same as she had before he’d left this place the last time. However long ago that had been. Maybe it hadn’t been as long for her. Time was funny that way.

He cleared his throat at her question, glancing back over his shoulder for a moment. “She made the choice this time.” His voice was a bit flat when he spoke. The TARDIS always did choose for him, when she wanted him to be somewhere. Rose knew that almost as well as he did. Why here, and now? He really couldn’t say.

***

"Or maybe the Dome just wanted both of you here this time." Maybe. She'd like to think the TARDIS was far more powerful than that. Then again, as all sentient beings did, she had her faults. Discovering and nearly dying in a parallel world, for one.

She hesitated. He seemed different. And she didn't want to pry, but she also wanted him to know he was absolutely still loved and supported. "How long has it been?" That seemed the safest question. If he wanted to talk, the door was open. It always would be for him.

***

"I can see why it would want her here." Why it would want him back remained to be seen. He only caused loss and pain wherever he went. What good was that to the Dome?

He considered her question for a moment, the door swinging back and forth slightly in his grasp. "I'm eleven hundred and twelve, or thereabouts. Maybe more. I don't know if that means much to you. Some time has passed in your terms, Rose Tyler." In human terms. It mattered little to him. He'd long since stopped counting birthdays.

***

She bit her lip, her heart breaking just that little bit. Every year apart was just another year further from what they had once had. And yeah, she knew they'd never be those people again. Too much had happened. They were different people now in so many ways. That didn't change that it hurt, knowing she was a distant memory for him.

Still. She offered a small smile. This wasn't about her. She could hear that jaded, cynical tone to his voice. He had never been very good at hiding it, even when he'd wanted to. "Oh, just a bit, then." Her voice was light and teasing. "We missed you, you know. It's barely been a week for us here." Not even a week. Which should have been a good thing, but how could it be when they were so far apart now?

***

A week. Of course. Such a short time for them and yet those minutes and hours, he knew, could feel like a lifetime. And now they were all a bit older. A bit closer to being lost to him.

"So you're all still here, then?" He remembered how worried he'd been about Peter in particular. And despite himself he still was. He'd been so soon returned himself and The Doctor had known not all was right there.

But he was being selfish. He knew he was. And this was Rose, and the TARDIS. Though perhaps his eyes were sad and revealed his feelings, he opened the door wider in invitation.

"She's missed you."

***

Rose couldn't even judge him if he had said why one week upset him. She knew all too well how every single day with people you cared about counted, especially for someone who would outlive them all. "Everyone is, as far as I know." For the most part she kept a fairly close eye on the networks.

Honestly, she hadn't wanted to presume. She didn't want to ask, especially if he was doing the shutting himself down thing. But she had gotten through to him once before, when the absolute worst had happened to him. Surely she could do it again. And this time, she had help.

So as the door opened wider, she tried to keep it together and stepped inside. "Not as much as I've missed her," she replied, her voice soft and almost hushed.

She had changed so much. On the outside, she was still her trademark blue police call box. The inside, though, was drastically different. And honestly, maybe that was for the best. It was a loving reunion now, rather than one that broke her heart. "You didn't have to change clothes just for me, sweetheart," she teased, and she felt that familiar hum and the change in light that showed the TARDIS was communicating. "She looks beautiful."

***

He shut the door behind them as he entered after her, feeling such a sense of familiarity at seeing her react to the TARDIS it was overwhelming.

“She is,” he agreed. He hadn’t really remembered this place, until he’d gotten back again. And yet he recalled now just how much he’d missed her. “Only ever for herself, though. I met her, you know.” He walked the few steps down towards the centre console.

“As a person, that is. In human form.”

***

"The TARDIS? As a human?" She might feel badly about it later, but for that moment, she burst out laughing. "Did you finally try wishing on one of those weird stars you showed me?" She couldn't remember the name of the galaxy now, but she did remember just how gorgeous said stars had been.

It wasn't 'their' console room, but maybe that was for the best. This would be a new thing. This new version of them and whatever they were now. He was still absolutely on the list of people she was closest to. This was just...different.

Her fingers trailed over the glass partitions, considering where everything had been versus where it was now. "Let me guess, wild and a bit crazy? Did she still long for adventures?" The idea of actually being able to talk to the TARDIS fascinated her.

***

The corners of his mouth pulled down a little at her laughing. It hadn’t been all that funny at the time, and maybe his humour was gone, but he didn’t realise he was a big frowner, now. That was new.

“She did. She was wonderful. It couldn’t last, though.” It was never meant to be in the first place. “We argued a lot. But…” He shrugged, flicking a few switches on the console to distract himself from the thought. He didn’t like remembering the moment she’d said hello, and then left him.

“Anyway. Here I am again.”

***

Her laugh turned into a sympathetic smile. Because of course she couldn't stay that way. Rose knew first hand what it would cost for the TARDIS to live inside of a human. And he had saved her life, then, and she knew he would do it for anyone he cared for.

"You argue a lot now, she's just tougher to communicate with." She pulled herself up on the bar surrounding the console, finding she missed the old jump seat quite a bit. It had always been her spot while he fiddled with things. The place where she could sit and stay out of the way while they chatted idly.

"Here you are again, indeed. I may have broke into your flat. So we all sort of just held on to the hope that you'd be back." But she remembered how worried Peter had been about when the Doctor was coming back to them from and, judging by his face, it seemed he was right to be. "We missed you. I missed you."

***

That was true, he supposed. She just didn’t communicate in words. She was still incredibly vocal in her own way.

“I missed you too, Rose Tyler.” He couldn’t quite manage the same emphasis on the words as her. Everything just felt a bit dull right now. He didn’t really have a remedy for that, just yet. “I hope you didn’t touch my toaster. It’s a bit temperamental.”

He turned to lean against the railing to face her. “How is Peter?” He’d seemed unlike himself when he’d first come back. That had been something he’d wanted to talk to him about. Then he’d been pulled away, apparently.

***

"I didn't touch any of it. I like keeping my fingers, thanks. I figured something might electrocute me." Or maybe he meant the toaster would bite her? That was disturbing.

It still didn't feel right hearing him say her full name the way he used to. And it definitely didn't feel right hearing how down he sounded. Well. They'd work on that. Whatever had happened, they'd get through it given time.

"He's pretty worried about you." They all had been, but she'd taken a liking to Peter. Honestly, though, who didn't? "I think it'll do some good to have you back."

***

“I don’t think it would electrocute you.” Anything else, he couldn’t promise. Anyway, with the TARDIS here he’d actually have more he could do. Which was something, at least. Because he had the sinking feeling, TARDIS or no, that this place would not so easily be letting him leave.

“What makes you say that?” Hadn’t he made things worse for her, in the end? Why were they all so set on thinking he was some kind of good influence. Or presence, at least. Maybe influence wasn’t the right word.

“Peter’s going to be fine. He just needs some time I imagine.” Like he did.

***

"What makes me say it would be good to have you back?" Oh, good. All the work she had put in trying to pick him up after the war and now look at him. Self-deprecating, defeated… Well. She'd just have to do it all over again. And this time she had help.

"You're our friend. It helps to have you around. We love you. The good and the bad." Before he could jump in with any of that. Even on his worst days, he was still the Doctor and those that chose to live their lives with him would still be with him.

"Besides. Can you just picture Peter's face when you tell him the TARDIS is here?" It might even compete with her own. Which he hadn't gotten to see. She'd have to make sure they had that talk in person, maybe.

***

Maybe. Maybe that had been a part of his question. “I was talking about Peter.” He knew Rose liked having him here, he could see that written all over her face. And he appreciated that more than he could say. More than he ever would.

He went and sat in the red chair in the corner by the console, reaching for his bowtie instinctively, adjusting it before dropping his hand. When she mentioned Peter’s reaction to the TARDIS, there was no stopping the small smile. He absolutely could picture it, and the thought of that expression of joy was a wonderful thing.

“I’m sorry, Rose. Amy would say I’m being a Mr Grumpy Pants today.” And if the facade cracked a little at the mention of Amy, it was only for the briefest of moments.

***

Pulling herself off of the rail, she made her way to his side, dropping to the floor next to him and taking his hands in hers. There was no way to make this better. Of course the Dome would do this to him, because why not? But then, maybe it was doing him a kindness. He had lost someone important but here, he could heal with friends rather than isolate himself for another hundred years, as he tended to do.

"She's gone, isn't she?" Rose wasn't an idiot, she knew their lives were on display for others. She'd listened to the quiet words and accepted them for what they were. "It's alright. It wasn't your fault. It is never your fault and one day you'll believe that."

He did have a horrible tendency to put the blame on himself. Something she understood but hated just the same.

***

“She’s with Rory. They got their lives together. Long and happy.” And without him. But they’d lived, and that was the important part. Even if his vision did blur with tears that didn’t quite fall until he blinked them away. Maybe she was right, maybe one day he would believe it wasn’t his fault. But that wasn’t now. Nor was it how he felt about Martha, or Donna. Or Rose herself.

He kept hurting the people he held closest to his hearts the most.

“Maybe that’s why the Dome wants me here.” To keep him out of things, to stop him meddling and making a mess of people’s lives.

***

She tilted her head, listening and watching. That was something she'd always been good at with his prior two faces. Listening to him, identifying what he might need. Sometimes it was just a hand to hold, sometimes he needed a hug. And sometimes he just needed to be alone.

Rose wasn't as good at that with this face yet. It would take time. Time she was glad the Dome was giving them. "They get to live their lives and that's amazing for them. But that doesn't make it hurt less for you."

She squeezed one of the hands in hers. "I think the Dome knew you needed a friend right now. Lucky enough, you've got quite a few here." They were developing quite the little team, and she kind of liked it. She had come a long way from the girl who'd been overwhelmingly jealous of Sarah Jane.

***

Those words made him smile. “You’re all far too stubborn to stay away, too.” Every single one of them. And he’d barely even had time to spend with Martha before he’d been taken away. Why the Dome thought he needed to go and live that pain only to bring him back he didn’t know. Or maybe it was that he wouldn’t have come back if he hadn’t lost Amy. He wasn’t sure.

He’d just need them to be patient with him, because he didn’t know that he was quite ready for guided tours of the TARDIS yet. And he knew that was going to be a thing he’d have to suffer through at some point.

***

"Well, not for long, anyway. But you know we can give you space, too. And...well, you do have the world's largest apartment right now. If you need some you time, one of us will make sure you get it." Honestly he could hide away in his room - was it even still in the same spot since the remodel? - and most people wouldn't ever find him. She imagined she and Martha and Clara and Ace probably could, but then, they also knew when he needed some time alone.

At least, she thought the others might. She knew she did. And she knew that even when she wasn't sure, she had to give him the options.

Standing, she leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Now. Do you want me to bring you a milkshake from Hinkles or do you want to curl up in here by yourself for a bit?"

***

His smile, though still small, was a lot more genuine that time. She knew him, still. So well. He liked that, and he needed it right now, too. “I think I’ll find something to keep myself out of trouble in here easily enough for a while.” He could mope alone for a while and figure out how not to be so angry at having lost his best friend.

“You could do something for me, though. I know they’ll all see her here anyway, eventually. But maybe let them know I’m back? I’ll come for a visit soon, I promise.” Just not yet. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

Maybe with a promise she’d believe him, at least.

***

Honestly, from that pleading look he was giving her, she didn't care if the mayor of Madison Valley themselves showed up at his door. They weren't going to bother him.

"I'll make sure they all know you're working on Doctor time, here. Ha. Time. I crack myself up." She did offer a tiny, crooked smile of her own. "But you do have to promise me that if you are shutting yourself away for a bit that you'll take care of yourself. Eat and get rest and all that. And you know how to reach me if you need anything."

Because all he had to do was say a word and she'd drop everything to help him. It was a curse of traveling with him and she knew the others felt similarly.

***

He laughed a little at that, because she was ridiculous. But he loved her in spite of it. Or maybe because of it.

“Cross my hearts,” he assured, accompanied by the gesture of a little cross over his chest. Jokes aside, he needed some time to figure out a few things. And how he could be here with all of them, now. Be here with them and not worry about losing them all.

“Now go see that boyfriend of yours and get up to whatever it is I don’t need to know about. I’ll be okay.”

***

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help smiling. Honestly, it reminded her of the days when she was with Mickey and they drove him completely insane. Maybe one of these days she'd have to get him and Shadow together. That might be...dangerous, actually, never mind. "More like going home to make sure my foster daughter eats something that isn't pizza rolls, but point taken."

Taking his face in her hands, she looked down into impossibly blue eyes. "You're a pain and I love you for it. I mean it. If you need anything, you let me know. And don't think I'm not coming back by to make sure you didn't destroy my room."

She had no intentions of checking that evening even if he had been in a better mood. He wasn't the only one who needed time to process some things. If the TARDIS just wiped them all clean once they were gone… Honestly, she didn't know if she could handle that.