Darcy Lewis (tasergoddess) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2019-07-25 07:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !completed gdoc, !log, [portal] panem, ~2019 july, ~25 points, ~~haymitch abernathy (drunkstrategist), ~~~~ darcy lewis (tasergoddess) |
Who: Haymitch Abernathy & Darcy Lewis
What: Visiting Panem
Where: Their house, then Panem
When: late Wednesday
Warnings: Hunger Games stuff
Status: complete gdoc
Hearing there was a portal to Panem just sitting there waiting for people to slip through wasn’t the best news Haymitch had heard that week, in fact it was close to the worst he could think of. There was no way he’d wish that world on anybody especially his family and friends and he had no desire to meet Effie, who he felt he’d let down so badly, Finnick who deserved so much better or especially himself, he knew he wouldn’t be a pretty sight at this point. His drinking still an issue and anxiety high with all the secrets and plotting he was doing.
Sitting on the sofa with a fresh coffee he sighed and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the cushions.
***
Darcy couldn’t begin to imagine how Haymitch was feeling with the news that there was currently a portal open to Panem, from the time shortly before they began their rebellion, that anyone could accidentally stumble through. She hoped that people would heed Katniss’s warning and avoid that spot, though she knew some of the people in Madison Valley would likely take it as a challenge.
As for her, she couldn’t help but be curious about the place, despite knowing just how awful it was. Part of her wanted to see it for herself, wanted to understand what her partner and her best friend had been through before coming here.
She’d dropped Stephanie off with Veronica, figuring that Haymitch did not need the distraction of their daughter right now, and when she returned to the house, went to sit next to him. “Hey,” she said.
***
Opening his eyes he let his head drop forward again to give her a small smile, “Hey. Steph okay?” he asked her, he appreciated her forethought to have their daughter enjoy a playdate for a while. Panem always brought up memories Haymitch would rather not recall while his daughter was around. If he thought he could get away with it he wouldn’t let Darcy go through this with him either but he knew he didn’t have a choice with that one.
***
There was no way that Darcy was going to let him deal with this on his own. “She’s fine,” she assured him. “I’m more worried about you right now.” He’d been doing really well with the sobriety, so she wasn’t too concerned this would cause a backslide, though she fully expected it to revive his nightmares.
“What do you want to do?” she asked.
***
“Well closing the damn portal would be great” Haymitch told her with a wry smile, though he knew that wasn’t their choice. The bloody town would decide when that happened. “People shouldn’t go through, it isn’t safe” He knew Katniss had warned people but he also knew some would let their curiosity get the better of them, “Nothing good can come from visiting that place”
***
“I’d like to see where you’re from,” Darcy admitted, her voice soft and hesitant. “But I understand that it’s dangerous.” Especially if there was a possibility that she’d run into the younger, drunker version of him. Not that he’d know who she was. She knew it wouldn’t be easy to see him like that, remembered all too well the nightmares that plagued both of them when they first became roommates. She reached over to take his hand.
***
“It’s not a nice place Darce, especially the Capitol. It’s just full of useless, clueless airheads who can’t think beyond their own bubble of a world” Haymitch told her, giving her hand a squeeze, “You really want to see that?” he asked her seriously, if she did insist he’d take her even if it wouldn’t be easy for him should they run into people he had known.
***
Darcy shrugged. “I want to understand what you and Johanna and Katniss have been through,” she said. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to.” She wouldn’t risk her safety or his mental well being to satisfy her curiosity.
***
Haymitch ran his free hand over his face, “I’m sure you won’t be the only one who is curious to see it” he said, despite Katniss telling everybody to steer clear he knew some would still go looking. “I don’t want you going alone, if you really want to go then we’ll go” It wasn’t something he’d look forward to but he understood the curiosity. He’d be the same with her world, even if it was a generally more pleasant place than Panem.
***
The offer to go with her was unexpected and Darcy frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” she asked. “I don’t want to do anything that is going to hurt you.” Either physically or emotionally. As curious as she was, she wouldn’t put him in that position.
“I love you,” she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “We don’t have to stay long.”
***
Haymitch shrugged, “Been through worse. And I get to come home” unlike those who would remain trapped, doomed to live out the events of the quarter quell. “Let’s try to avoid coming across people I know though, yeah?” he requested.
“Love you too” he told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and wrapping his arm around her to keep her by his side.
***
“Of course,” Darcy said. “And we don’t have to stay long.”
She wouldn’t put him through that, didn’t want to risk him having nightmares again, though she knew that was probably going to happen regardless of whether they went through the portal or not. “I can ask Veronica and Steve to keep Steph overnight,” she added. “So we can have a quiet night alone when we get back.” That would probably be a good thing.
***
The nightmares would return, there was no way they wouldn’t. But he hoped he’d be able to handle them better than he had before. And at least by going with Darcy by choice he could perhaps feel more in control of the situation. Time would tell on that front.
He nodded, “Probably best. I don’t want to end up scaring Steph” He wanted to keep everything Panem related away from his baby girl, that would never be something she needed to experience.
***
Their baby wasn’t really a baby anymore, but Darcy agreed with shielding her from the worst things in both of their pasts. Of course she was going to know that there were unpleasant and bad things in the world, it was part of growing up in Madison Valley, she just didn’t need to know all of the details.
“They’ll keep her as long as we need,” she said, knowing they were lucky to have good friends.
She stood up. “So, what would be appropriate to wear?”
***
Steph would always be Haymitch’s baby girl, even when she was an adult. Something she would no doubt equally hate and love as most children did. But yeah they could hide her from the tragic aspect of her father's previous world.
“Honestly I’m not sure you have anything outrageous enough for the Capitol” he told her, managing a brief smile at the thought, “Think of it like that show you like, Drag Race?” he suggested.
***
Darcy laughed. “How the hell did you manage to survive a place like that?” she asked, thinking about the grumbling he’d done about the ridiculous outfits when they watched that show.
“All right, I’ll get dressed and we’ll leave in about a half an hour?”
***
Honestly had he had to live in the Capitol he probably wouldn’t have survived, it might have actually been a games challenge itself. As it was the few days he had to spend there every year had been bad enough.
It didn’t take too long for them to get ready, Darcy wore an outfit that was pretty passable, enough so that she wouldn’t be looked at too oddly anyway. And as for Haymitch he would be fine, he was well known enough for people to leave him alone.
Passing through the portal into the Capitol he’d held his breath, taking a moment to look around he pushed back the memories threatening to overwhelm him and just led Darcy down one of the main streets.
***
As they passed through the portal, Darcy clung tight to Haymitch’s hand, as much for her own sake as his. She knew this was not easy for him and appreciated that he was willing to put himself through it to satisfy her curiosity. In all honesty, she was a little frightened herself, having heard horror stories about the Capitol for the past five and a half years from both her partner and her best friend.
It looked normal enough. Depending on your definition of normal. The outfits and appearances of some of the people were even more outlandish than Haymitch described. He’d been pretty spot on comparing them to the outfits featured on Drag Race.
“We don’t have to stay long,” she said quietly.
***
The Capitol never failed to disturb him, such outlandish outfits and people. Though there was something different now, knowing what he did about what was going to happen, he couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for these people though he wouldn’t change a thing. It needed to change, there was no choice.
So lost in thought for a moment his senses didn’t warn him until a hand had already reached out, caught his arm and tugged him into a small alleyway. Immediately he pulled the knife from his pocket and held it against the neck of the person who’d come after him. Only when he focused he realised it was...him. Staring at himself was the strangest thing.
“Well looks like the kid was telling the truth then” Haymitch said, alcohol evident on his breath before Haymitch pushed himself away from his past self, “You did do alright for us didn’t you?” he added, eyes looking over Darcy who Haymitch pulled closer protectively.
***
It was beyond weird to stand there staring at two versions of Haymitch. Sure, Darcy had plenty experience with the whole face twin phenomenon in Madison Valley, but they were always different people with the same face. Not two of the exact same person.
Though, in looking between them, she realized they were far from the same person. She recognized this other, slightly younger version of Haymitch, recognized the blood shot eyes and nervous twitches. They were things she hadn’t seen in a long time.
“Did you really think Katniss would lie?” she asked. His gaze made her uncomfortable and she had no problem sticking close to her Haymitch.
***
“Honestly I figured she might have been a hallucination” he shrugged, “But I kept an eye out anyway” In truth he’d been hoping nothing would happen but he’d never been that lucky. “So, any tips or tricks you wanna tell me?” he asked his older and more sober self.
Haymitch hesitated, he wanted so badly to tell him to help Effie, save Finnick and Prim but he couldn’t risk it. If he changed something here and it meant he never went to Madison, no, changing the past and risking the future wasn’t something he was happy to do. He shook his head, “Just do everything as you’ve planned”
***
“And then quit drinking,” Darcy added. Maybe they could save this Haymitch from going through the near death experience that led hers to finally embracing sobriety. Of course, if it hadn’t been for that, hadn’t been for him moving in with her so he wasn’t alone, they might not have ever gotten together. That was a risk she was willing to take to know that he was okay though.
***
“Yeah sure, not like there’s a reason for it” Haymitch replied with a roll of his eyes before looking at his obviously better off self, “Just keep your head down. Effie’s wandering around town checking on whatever it is she checks, victors are all in the centre though so they won’t be a problem” he added.
Haymitch nodded, “Thanks”
With a nod he disappeared out of the alley and back towards the centre and more alcohol.
Leaning against the wall once he was gone Haymitch sighed, “Well that was a horrible blast from the past” he said giving Darcy a small wry smile.
***
Darcy leaned in to kiss his cheek. “It’s a good reminder of how far you’ve come,” she said, trying to spin it into something positive.
“We can head back, if you think that’s safest,” she added. Running into the past version of her boyfriend was eye opening and provided all the explanation she really needed to see what Panem was like for herself.
***
“Yeah, guess it is” he agreed, it was also a stark reminder of how different his life would have been without Madison, it wasn’t something he often liked to think about. He probably would have drank himself into an early grave.
He shrugged, “Have a look round a bit, see what you want to see” he didn’t want her to miss anything she wanted to see and have to come back. One trip would be enough for him.
***
There wasn’t anything in particular that she wanted to see, but Darcy nodded. “Okay, well, let’s just walk around a bit and then we can go home.” She reached out to take his hand, wanting to offer as much support as she could.
***
It didn’t take them too long to get back to the portal and luckily they didn’t see anybody Haymitch knew, he was thankful for that. It had been a trip down memory lane for sure but he couldn’t say it was a pleasant one. The noise and brightness of the Capitol had never sat well with Haymitch and he most definitely did not miss it.