Try to refrain from comparing the way you've turned out to my daughter who is still innocent, impressionable, and the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.
I've already died once. I don't need a heart attack or a stroke from worrying about her being kidnapped into space or turned into whatever it is you are when you aren't here.
Tell you what: I will monitor your water intake so you don't die from the liquor consumption if you will promise to not say anything too absurd to my kid. Deal?