Who: Tony Stark tony & Pepper Potts (Hendrickson) potts What: Arrival When: Saturday, June 1, very, very late at night Where: Near the River Rating: Reader Discretion is Advised Warnings: Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame (2019), discussion of major character death, grief, emotional trauma, and we are cruel, terrible people with no mercy. Status: Closed/Complete
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Death was an end to Tony Stark.
His ears were ringing, a burning smell was cutting off his ability to breathe through his nose, and he felt like he could feel every single nanite in his suit trying to stitch it and him back together.
Tony had never been the kind of man to have faith in anything he couldn't come up with a plausible explanation for or which didn't already have a plausible explanation. No one had expected their battle with Thanos to end without casualties. They'd only hoped they would gain back more than they'd originally lost.
That was the mission: undo the snap.
He made a sound -meaningless yet painful which had to mean something- as he sat up to look around a grassy clearing near a body of water he was certain was not his lake.
Tony had worked out more possibilities for his salvation by Stephen Strange than he wanted to admit. There were thousands of reasons he could come up with off the top of his head, millions if he started to get creative and he was known for his ingenuity.
All of the options Tony came up with always seemed to fall short of mattering as soon as Pepper had told him she was pregnant. It wasn't a dream. He wasn't making it up. They were having a baby and that was it. Game over. Nothing else mattered except being a better father than his own had managed.
He saw Pepper in a black dress lying across from him. It was a dress he'd never seen before which bothered him because he thought he knew all of Pepper's little black dresses.
Tony had been lucky, too. He'd gotten five solid years of being a husband and then a father. His daughter would never question whether he loved her or his company more. Morgan was everything to him. Pepper was the woman he loved. She was the mother of his child. Nothing would ever lower her in his estimation. That being said, they both had agreed as soon as they held their daughter for the first time: if a choice had to be made, Morgan won.
Either of them was prepared to die so their baby girl could live. That was what parenthood was about.
He noticed Morgan at the same time the suit managed to fully retract back into the chestplate for repairs. She was lying face down, her thumb in her mouth as it hadn't been in a long enough time to make it a meaningful relapse.
Tony hadn't minded dying. To be honest, it wasn't nearly as painful as he'd expected and he'd gotten a lot of gratification out of the look on Thanos's giant face as he realized he'd lost. It had been fine with him. Going out as a hero was the kind of thing Tony knew he didn't deserve, but he was all too grateful for it because, if he had to leave Morgan, he wanted it to matter.
He tried to get his feet under him and managed to get to his knees as he realized Morgan was also wearing a black dress. He didn't recognize hers either and that was not okay. Who thought it was okay to take his wife and his daughter and dump them---?
"Pep? Pepper?"
Tony managed to get to his feet only to feel as if the whole world was tilting around him, spinning and spinning and spinning, and was this what it felt like to come back from the dead? No wonder Loki had resting bitch face. It took him longer to walk the few feet to Pepper and Morgan than it had taken him to cross a battlefield to get to Thanos. Every movement seemed to hurt in a different way though Tony knew he was somehow significantly better off than he should have been. Than he had been. He'd died.
He gave up trying to stay on his feet in favor of collapsing to his knees beside Pepper. Morgan lay on her other side. He hoped she wouldn't wake up while he was trying to figure out what was happening to them all.
Cupping Pepper's shoulder with his hand, he shook her slightly, "C'mon Pepper, you gotta know I'd let you sleep if I could, but for right now? I really need you to wake up. Help a dead guy out?"
He rolled his head on his shoulders, wincing at the crack his neck made from the movement -he really was getting too old for this shit- and feeling as if his head had been popped off to be popped back on like one of those action figures Peter collected. He kept trying to focus on his body, his pain, his confusion, because he knew if he started to really try to figure things out? He wasn't going to like any conclusions he managed.
"Please, Pepper? I promise I'll take the night shift for the next week if you just wake up now."
Pepper was weary and exhausted. She hadn't felt this exhausted in a long time, but the emotional toll that losing Tony had been and keeping a positive face about it in front of Morgan was hard. It was so hard, in ways she'd feared from the moment he'd said he'd solved the problem of time travel. She couldn't close her eyes without seeing him propped up on the wreckage, Peter crying over him.
But she had Morgan and she kept their little girl close to her. After the funeral, once everyone save for Happy had gone home, she and Morgan had climbed into Morgan's bed to sleep, still dressed from the funeral. Pepper couldn't bear to let her go too far, needed the excuse to not sleep in the bed she'd shared with Tony. Their daughter had drifted off to sleep easier than Pepper, had stayed fast asleep as the tears fell silently down her cheeks. She held Morgan close instead of trying to wipe them away. Sleep came eventually, fitfully, and she almost relaxed a bit more when the transition happened. Memories came back to her, of a life in Madison Valley that she'd lived before getting sent home. It felt like such a duality that when she felt someone shaking her shoulder, she wasn't sure if it was Tony or Dwight.
Pepper blinked awake and shifted, her body moving automatically in a way that wouldn't wake Morgan. Sure enough, the little girl just curled into her stuffed bunny rabbit and let Pepper have the room to sit up a bit.
"Tony?" she whispered, though there was such disbelief in her voice. Pepper blinked again and realized she wasn't hallucinating. "Oh my god." Before she even finished the first word, her arms were around him in a tight hug. Her mind was going a million miles a minute as she took in the sight of the park in Madison Valley. How long had she been gone for? What was going to happen now? She sighed and just focused on the here and now. Tony was alive. Morgan was with them. Whatever else, they would figure it out.
"I've told people more than once, just Tony is fine. None of that 'god' business for me. Not all of us need that kind of false validation."
Wrapping his arms around Pepper, Tony held on as tight as he dared. He was terrified he'd hurt her if he held her as tightly as he wanted. No matter how much he wanted to close his eyes, feel the reality of his wife's arms around his living, breathing body, Tony couldn't bring himself to do more than blink for fear his baby girl would vanish on him the way Peter had, the way half the universe had, and he'd stopped it from happening again, hadn't he? It was over? Thanos was gone? Why was he back if it was over?
Muttering against Pepper's neck, Tony said, "I don't know what's happening. I know I had to do it. Take the stones. Use them. I knew I couldn't---I wouldn't get a chance to try again. Strange said one chance. One chance to win out of millions. I was never a big fan of the wizard, but he wasn't a liar. He liked himself more than---I had to do it and I did. I remember how it felt. Dying. I remember the sound of your voice. Telling me it was okay to rest. I did. It was like falling into a deep sleep. Why did I wake up?"
Everything felt mostly intact. All the pain he had been in before he'd gone out for what he'd assumed would be good was gone. Tony couldn't stop his head spinning or seem to get his thoughts to line up appropriately. It felt as if he had all fourteen million possibilities Strange had mentioned seeing with the Time Stone just going around and around and around inside his mind. The difference being, Strange was the master of the Time Stone, and Tony Stark was a master of more human pursuits such as physics, engineering, and mathematics.
It was terrifying. Feeling scrambled inside his head. Tony had always maintained control of his thoughts; his mind had never let him down. Was that the consequence he would face for returning from the dead? Would he be no better than a madman? Incoherent and uncomprehending of the world as it existed around him? Why? Why would he be back for that kind of Hell? Hadn't he given enough?
Pepper laughed weakly at his joke. She had to, otherwise she was in danger of breaking down and she couldn't, not yet. There was so much she needed to explain to him and she needed to talk to Dwight, check in on Ryder, make sure all their friends were still here and whole. She just held onto him tightly, so tightly, because she knew the moment she let him go, everything would change. As selfish as it was, she wasn't ready for it.
"It's okay. I'll explain everything, I will," she promised. Just not yet. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop more tears from falling. This was unlike anything they'd ever planned for, ever theorized or discussed. It was almost worse than losing Tony in the first place, but at least now, here, he could watch Morgan grow up. Pepper held onto him as long as she dared, just held him and hugged him until finally she felt like her voice wouldn't tremble when she told him about this place.
She swallowed hard as she pulled back, her hand moving to cup his cheek for a moment before she dropped them both to his. "This place is, near as anyone can tell, some kind of pocket dimension," Pepper explained softly. She was mindful of Morgan sleeping peacefully next to them, but she was quiet also because the words were hard to say. "We're in Madison Valley, Indiana, and I don't know what year it is here or how long I was gone for, but time works...differently here." He was going to have a lot of questions, she knew that.
"The short version is, we're stuck here. There's no way home, no way out. Well, there might be a way to travel if they haven't gotten rid of that option yet, but there's no permanent way out." Pepper was trying to make sense of everything as her life here meshed with the life she'd lived in their world. "Someone will be along soon to give you the welcome spiel, but-" She squeezed his hands. "I'm not even sure where to start. I know you have questions. I promise I'll answer them as best as I can."
She was going to have to tell him. She didn't want to though. Not yet. And not because she didn't love Dwight, but because it was complicated and she didn't want to lose either of them.
"I can always count on you to have the answers when I don't."
Tony focused on Pepper's hands. The way she touched his face, then the way she held onto his hands as tightly as they'd held onto each other moments before. Time seemed to slow as she spoke. All the words were ones he recognized without being able to make sense of them in the order they were coming at him; Tony thought he would rather go back to the battlefield, dying yet certain the words his wife was saying to him were honest and sincere.
Pepper was sincerely steeling herself to tell him something he wasn't going to want to hear. Tony didn't need to be a genius to know that.
Squeezing her hands back, Tony extricated one to brush the tears from her cheeks, smiling stiffly as he said, "I guess this is going to be a new adventure for me, but old hat for you. I'm okay with that. With the way my head's doing? I think it's best you take the lead for a while. You sound certain about this whole thing. Been here before? How long? How long was I dead? You and Morgan look---look the same. Not long, right? But time works different here so, how long?"
Time was a construct. Physics had captured Tony Stark's attention from an early age; Einstein had been his first hero until he'd discovered new ways to look at all his work. Everything in life worked based on a theorem. All theorems came from somewhere based in fact. Facts were gathered by observation, investigation, and experimentation. No one needed to tell Tony Pepper was talking about something not only possible, but true.
Lies weren't something they shared in their relationship much less their marriage.
Tony couldn't stop his eyes from flickering over to Morgan, his hand dropping from Pepper's face to squeeze at her hands again. If they held onto each other tightly enough, could they find a way to merge their separate endings into a new beginning? He looked back to Pepper, hoping to see something in her eyes other than sadness, hesitation, trepidation.
"It's okay. You can tell me. I can take it."
Pain was something which came in as many forms as all the theories of everything; Tony Stark knew he could survive pain however it came to him. All he needed was his family. Everything else? He could do without. He could survive. Go on. Live. Tony wasn't certain he could be happy, but he knew he could continue no matter what was thrown at him. All he needed was his wife and his little girl to be safe. that wasn't too much to ask, was it? He could have that here in---Indiana.
Of course he knew. Pepper didn't expect that he would suddenly lose the ability to read her. "I came here after the fallout from Germany, after Steve and Bucky broke the others out of the Raft. It was...September 2016 here. A lot happened, but I...met someone here." She was never a coward and she knew it would just be worse if she didn't come clean. She did love Dwight, still did, and she loved the man in front of her, too. How they were going to move forward now, she wasn't sure, but she knew she would be grateful of it no matter how long it would take to figure things out.
"People go home sometimes to live more of their life before coming back, or they wake up with new memories of that life. That happened to me, just waking up with new memories, but you were stranded in space and we didn't know what happened. Strange said you were alive, but there wasn't any way for you to come home." She was trying to explain herself she realized, so she pressed her lips together in a thin line and took a breath.
"Dwight and I got married in September 2018. The last thing I remember about Madison Valley is that it was...May 2019 I think. Nearly June." It was all too...much for her to put straight right now. "I don't know when it is here right now, but sometimes even if people go home for five years, it could still be 2019 here." Pepper honestly wasn't sure what she wanted. Was it still 2019 and she hadn't missed much? Dwight hadn't missed her? Or was it 2023 or another time altogether? Could she and Tony pick up where they left of?
"There's a- a welcoming committee. Someone will be here soon to give you keys to an apartment, a credit card, a phone and a laptop. They'll know what day it is." Pepper glanced behind her to look at Morgan and she knew then and there that she wouldn't take their daughter away from him. "I don't- I don't know where we go from here."
Time was a construct.
Somehow focusing on the facts made everything easier. Tony had always been able to push aside his emotions in favor of his next project or his current project or even someone else's project if he was between ideas.
Thanos had been a problem Tony couldn't find a solution to---not one idea he had was viable enough to pursue. He spent five years focusing on his wife and child while all the people who'd been dusted as a result of his failure to save them haunted the back of his mind.
It had been similar to a toothache. A constant throb where so many living, breathing people had been and all Tony could think about was how Pepper had made him proof he had a heart yet he had allowed so many heartbeats to be stopped. What kind of genius was he if the wizard had put his trust in him, died for him, and Tony couldn't come up with anything except a new way to play hide and seek with his daughter?
Swallowing back the bile he could feel trying to rise up inside him, Tony cleared his throat to say, "It sounds like I'm going to get an apartment, a payoff of some amount, a ridiculously small amount of tech to somehow make work for me, and I'm going to find out if I watch my wife and child walk away while I'm left behind."
Tony left out the fact he wished he had stayed dead if that was the future he had to look forward to in this strange city he'd never wanted to visit much less live in.
Pepper spoke as if she had genuine remorse for having found someone else. Tony had been lost in space for only twenty-two days, but it had been enough for him to record messages to her telling her to go on without him. They were young enough to have had the expectation of decades more together. There was no reason for him to want Pepper to spend all those years alone, for Morgan to have only a memory of a father rather than a reality, and he'd told her so in his recordings. It sounded as if she'd never gotten those which could have been a good thing.
Most of the recordings Tony remembered making had not shown him in his best light.
"Wait. I'm sorry. I don't think you listened to my recordings, but I was thinking of you. When I was in space? I thought of you every day. Every hour. I told you to go on. We didn't have Morgan, sure, but I don't want her to grow up without a father either. I wouldn't have wanted that. I'm glad you found someone. I hate that his name is 'Dwight'. I hear Dueling Banjos every time I try to say that name or hear it or---I'll be honest. I'd hate his name even if it was Tony. Does Morgan call him 'Daddy'? Is he good to her? To both of you?"
Tony thought he could handle it if he heard this man had been good to his wife and child when he couldn't be there for them. All of them would find a way to work through whatever this situation was and Tony would make it work. Tony could make anything work. Geniuses never stopped working on a solution, no matter what the problem.
Pepper felt sick to her stomach. Her emotions were all over the place and it was clear that it was all just too much for Tony to take in right now. He wasn't following, wasn't listening, wasn't understanding. Whichever it was, he wasn't doing it and it hurt. It hurt so much to know that the man she loved, the father of her beautiful little girl, was expecting she'd take the best part of him away. She couldn't speak, not without her voice breaking, so she didn't. Pepper just tried to get her feet back under her, metaphorically speaking, as he continued speaking.
A watery chuckle escaped her when he commented on Dwight's name. Tony was really going to dislike him, she was sure. "Morgan doesn't know him, Tony. She wasn't- I wasn't-" Pepper shook her head and closed her eyes, squeezed them shut as she tried to figure out how to make sense of it all. Or at least how to explain it to Tony. She needed to know what day it was here, now, so she could begin to try.
"Morgan's never been here before. This is...it's going to be a lot, but I- I could never take her from you, Tony. I couldn't." Pepper still hadn't let go of his hands and just squeezed them that much more tightly, as if she could reassure him that he'd have his little girl in his life, within reach. She knew it without a shadow of a doubt. "Whether I'm living with you or Dwight, I promise you, Tony. I will not take her from you." She lost the battle with her tears and a few slipped down her cheeks before she could try to corral them.
It did feel like a betrayal now, to be married to both men. It wasn't unheard of for things like this to happen but Pepper had never expected to have the past five years with Tony. She'd dreamed about it for a small window of time, but she'd thought that was all gone, an impossible dream, until she'd woken up with the memories of being engaged. And then he'd been, for all intents and purposes to her life in Madison Valley, dead in space. She needed to talk to Dwight, but Tony was her priority right now. Tony and Morgan.
"Someone should be here soon, I promise. I don't know what's taking them so long, I-" Her voice broke and a sob escaped as she tried to get a handle on herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She didn't know what else to say.
Morgan would stay with him. Pepper wasn't taking Morgan. Morgan had no more experience with this strange place than Tony did. Morgan was his little girl.
She was his.
Wringing his left hand free from the grip of his wife, Tony gave in to the impulse to wrap his arm around Pepper's shoulders, pulling her tightly against his chest as he buried his face in her hair. A strangled sound escaped him -wet and wasted- as he tried to repeat everything she had said to him over and over in his mind until it started to make sense. Nothing Pepper had told him hurt him the way the thought of losing Morgan did, but, as he clung to her, both of them failing to keep some tears from escaping, Tony knew Pepper was telling him the truth: Morgan had only one father and it was him.
Tony would always be Morgan's father.
"Thank you."
Paltry words considering the enormity of what Pepper was telling him, but they were all the words Tony had to express himself while his mind tried to catch up.
A stranger appeared with a small pile of items. 'The Welcoming Committee.' Tony didn't release Pepper as the person spoke, explained they were back in the past, in 2019 in Madison Valley, and it was hoped he would enjoy his stay. Everything came a little easier since Pepper had given Tony an idea of what to expect; the words came together faster and Tony understood Pepper hadn't chosen to raise his daughter with another man.
Pepper had chosen to marry another man because he -her man, Tony- was presumed dead, lost in space, far, far from home the way she was trapped in Madison Valley so far, far from home.
Tony waited until they were alone again to say, "You didn't have Morgan. You hadn't gotten a chance to marry me. To have Morgan with me. You moved on before our life together happened because you couldn't know we had a life together. I get it. I do. I just---did you have a child here? You and, and, and Dwight? Do you have a child? Another daughter? A different daughter? A son? Are you going to go back to a family here while Morgan and I try to make this place feel like home for us, too?"
Nothing and no one would ever cause Pepper to love Morgan less. Tony remembered the look on her face the day Morgan was born, the wonder in her eyes followed by the overwhelming swell of pure, perfect love which had caused them both to cry along with their newborn daughter. A whole room full of crying Starks---Tony remembered trying to make light of the moment so he could survive it. His emotions had been so overwhelming, Tony had needed a hint of levity to quash the sensation of being suffocated under the weight of responsibility now saddled onto his shoulders.
"I won't keep her from you. If I have to live in the apartment these keys fit, you're welcome. Always. If you want me and Morgan to live closer to you and Dwight? Or with you and Dwight? I will do that. I will do whatever needs to be done so our baby girl doesn't lose her family. So I don't lose my family. Okay?"
Everything was going to be okay. Somehow. Tony would make sure of it.
Pepper just leaned into his embrace, pulled her hands away to wrap them around him however she could. It was a bit awkward considering she wasn't willing to pull away from him long enough to make it more comfortable. She cried quietly, sniffles and those sort of hurting, sharp inhales were the only sounds she made. As the Welcoming Committee arrived, she just clung tighter to him. It was like she was mourning the loss of him all over again.
She'd flinched when the person said that it was still 2019, just officially June now. She hadn't been gone long. It felt like she was losing him all over again, and after such a short period of time, this was more painful. Pepper didn't want to leave him. She didn't want to help him get settled in the two bedroom apartment he'd be given for himself and Morgan, didn't want to tuck her baby girl in and then leave. For the first time in a really long time, Pepper hated the Dome. She hated what it was doing to her family, even as she was grateful it gave Tony a second chance.
Tony had more questions though, once the Welcoming Committee had left, and she knew she owed it to him to answer them honestly. Pepper pulled away and wiped her eyes. She probably looked a mess, eyes still watery and tear stains down her cheeks. "No, Dwight and I weren't able to have kids. Extremis- no one here could figure out how to make it possible. But we were given guardianship of a teenage boy who was brought here." It was here that Pepper smiled. "You'll love him. He's so smart. He's an engineer too," she explained, obviously incredibly proud of her ward. "His name's Ryder. And we have a puppy named Fate. I...took it really hard that we couldn't have kids." She did have a family here, one that she loved just as much as she loved Tony and Morgan.
It was incredibly selfless and a testament to how much he'd grown and changed in the past five years that he offered to live with them if she wanted. "I don't know what I want," Pepper admitted honestly, softly. "I love you, and I love Morgan. I love Dwight and Ryder, too. But I won't ask you to move in with us, not right now anyway. We're not Steve and Bucky, I don't think." She laughed, though it was watery and weak. He'd have no idea what she was talking about.
"We should get you settled first. I'll come with you," she promised. Before she could say anything else, movement caught her attention and she turned to see Morgan rolling over towards them and blinking with sleepy eyes.
"Mommy, why are we-?" Morgan began, but it was completely cut off as she realized Daddy was there, too. "Daddy!" With all the energy in the world, she was up like a shot and had wormed her way in between Pepper and Tony to wrap her arms around her father. "You're back!"
"Yea, sweetheart. Daddy's back," she confirmed softly as she put her hand on Morgan's back. "We're on an adventure right now, and that means we need Dad." Of course they needed him. Pepper was always going to need him, and she was going to have to have a serious conversation with Dwight and do some very serious soul searching because this was a big deal. It wasn't going to be perfect, not right off the bat, but they would find a way.
Pain was something Tony Stark had too much experience with for a man of his wealth, status, and intelligence. There had been moments where he was suffering and all he'd wanted to do was complain to whatever powers existed wherever they existed since it absolutely was not fair. Pepper was his weakness; Tony wished with everything in him he could stop her pain. All he could do was hold her while she cried and choke back the sounds he wanted to make as he cried, too.
"I'm sure you were," Tony agreed, his voice thick in spite of his attempt to refocus their emotions, "You're a great mom. Ryder is lucky to have you. So is Fate. I never had a dog. Or a cat. Or a goldfish. I'm not good at taking care of living things. I do well to take care of myself. Before Morgan---"
Tony didn't want to think about the time before Morgan. Nothing mattered to him more than Morgan. Everything he'd done, all his accomplishments and conquests, none of it mattered because Morgan trumped it all. Their daughter was the singular culmination of everything Tony Stark could or would ever do in his life. There was no world in which he wanted to go back to the time before Morgan and the idea of going on with Morgan yet without Pepper was nearly as devastating as going back before Morgan.
"Are you saying Steve finally got tired of holding up the wall at the Junior Formal? He managed to ask Barnes for a dance? Shocking. I'd never believe it. That's a complete lie. Of course I believe it. Blind men could see what was going on with those two. Or what they hoped was going on. I guess it's happening now? That's something."
Sexuality was a fluid construct the way time was in Tony's mind. He had only wanted women himself, but that didn't mean he thought the same should hold true for everyone. Some people could love anyone -regardless of gender- which meant they could want anyone, too. Tony knew there was the other extreme as well: some people could love anyone yet couldn't want anyone. These days sexual preferences could cover the gamut from heterosexual to homosexual to bisexual to demisexual to asexual to some other sexuals Tony hoped he didn't have to memorize because the options led to more questions on his part and he wasn't sure he wanted or needed the answers to those questions.
It didn't bother him to think about Steve Rogers having a male lover. He honestly thought it would be better for both Steve and Barnes since they were hopelessly codependent and out of touch with the modern world. There was the question as to what the world would think about Captain America being gay, but this wasn't their world was it? What did that mean about their code of conduct? The rules for them could be broken? Any rules? All rules? It was confusing. It was all so confusing.
"Maguna!"
Morgan was a living, breathing reminder nothing mattered except one thing: Tony Stark was a father.
Holding his daughter tightly to his chest, Tony agreed with Pepper, "It's a big adventure, too. You and me have a whole new place to live. Mommy is going to show it to us. We're going to meet new people. We're in a new place. We'll get to see some old friends, too. We're going to be busy here, baby girl. You ready for that?"
"Yes! Yay! I love adventure! Do we get to fight and fly and find bad guys?"
"Absolutely. All you want. We'll clean up the streets here. C'mon, let's get started by seeing the new base of operations, yeah?"
Morgan released Tony as if he had said something magical, twirling in place with her hands in the air so her skirt swung around her. She laughed and it was the best sound Tony had ever heard in his life. He hoped Pepper had managed to dry her face off while he'd been distracting Morgan. Tony knew he could blame his own tear tracks on sweat if Morgan noticed them. She seemed inclined to embrace the challenge of a new adventure which meant they could possibly both get away with a lot for a while.
Getting to his feet, Tony offered a hand to Pepper, "Let's go see a place about a thing?"
It was easier, somehow, to focus on the lives of their friends here in Madison Valley instead of her own. "Not quite," she said of Bucky and Steve. They could talk about that later though, once they got to Tony's apartment and got Morgan settled. This was going to be a big adjustment for her, just as much as it was for them, but she'd adapt. She was a Stark, after all.
Seeing Morgan with Tony again, Pepper knew she made the right choice in telling him that she wouldn't take her away from him. She did take the opportunity to wipe her eyes and calm her nerves. It was hard to do, but easier in a sense because she was doing it for Morgan's sake. This was going to be hard enough to explain without her having to deal with all of this on top of it. She was together enough by the time Tony held out his hand to her that she took it easily. This wasn't the first time she walked around Madison Valley barefoot and it probably wouldn't be the last.
"And I'll fill you in on what all your Aunts and Uncles have been up to," Pepper offered. Morgan nodded and took each of her parents' hands, happy as a clam between them. "Well, first there's your Uncle Steve. He's married here to a woman named Veronica Mars. They just had a baby boy named Keith, and they live with Uncle Steve's best friend, Bucky Barnes, and his wife, Kara. Steve and Bucky also have a teenager they adopted here, named Molly." This was more for Tony's benefit than Morgan's, but it was important to preface what relationships there would be here.
"And then, Aunt Natasha is married to Uncle Bruce here, and they have an adopted daughter named Cassie. She's a little mean sometimes, but she's a good kid," Pepper said, "Dr Strange is here. He teaches at the high school, and Dr Foster is here, but she works at the lab." Here, she glanced at Tony. "We uh... had been here before I got here the first time and apparently started a Casino. I run it, along with Darcy Lewis and Phil." She gave Tony a meaningful look and then glanced at Morgan. "You're going to love Uncle Phil."
Life went on. Tony knew life happened whether one wanted it to or not. The first time he'd wanted to stop time had been the night he'd lost his parents. All his anger at them had evaporated with the pronouncement of their deaths---only it had been too late. Tony would never get another chance to tell his mother he loved her. He'd never get another hug, another kiss on the cheek, another chance to smell her perfume as it blended with the cheap face cream she insisted on using because she said it was better than the expensive options. All the chances he had ever been given to make things right with his father? They were all gone, too.
Tony would have given everything he had. Every dollar in the bank. Every ounce of knowledge in his head. Every hope and dream and wish for his own future? All of it would have been worth giving up for one more chance with his mother and his father and time didn't work that way. Nothing he could do would ever bring his parents back. Time was going to keep going and going and going and Tony Stark couldn't stop it. What good was being a genius or a billionaire when he couldn't do anything to help the people he loved the most?
Working had become his escape from the passage of time; Tony had developed things his father never dreamed were possible for Stark Industries to produce. He had proven himself better than Howard Stark in every way. There were always more women, better drinks, and the best toys money could buy.
All his attempts to ignore the wheels of time rolling on and on had been for nothing.
"Sounds like everyone is having fun here, Maguna. I think we're going to have to catch up, aren't we?"
Tony tugged at Morgan's arm on his side, looking at Pepper with a lopsided smile so she'd lift Morgan on the other, swinging her between them while she giggled as freely as she ever had. To her, Tony had never really left. There hadn't been enough time for her to come to understand she wouldn't be able to stop time either. She was still wearing the same dress she'd worn to her father's funeral yet there Tony was: holding her hand again.
It was as though he'd never left.
Except he had.
Tony Stark had died honorably on the field of battle, in immeasurable amounts of pain, surrounded by the people who mattered to him the most, and far, far away from his baby girl who might never know it had even happened when he had done it for her.
Catching his breath, Tony fought back tears, "I don't want to live in a house right now. Or a cabin either. Where else could we live, Maguna? Where do people live if they don't live in houses or cabins?"
"In apartments!" Morgan squealed, kicking her feet up so her parents would swing her into the air again.
"That's right! That is a great idea! We are going to live in an apartment. You and me. Mommy has work to do here. Did you hear how busy everyone is now? Mommy has to help them. They need her to go visit them and check on their companies and all kinds of boring, grown-up stuff. Yuck!"
Tony made a gross sound Morgan echoed followed by long peals of laughter at the idea they would be on an adventure in a new apartment while Mommy had to be doing yucky grown-up stuff.
Time would keep going on and on and on and this time? Tony would do his best to keep up. He'd learn everyone's new relationships, meet their children, and he'd appreciate every day of it. No more wasting precious time. Every day was a gift in Madison Valley because Tony knew, without a shadow of a doubt, he had died on the day he had faced Thanos for the last time. He and the Avengers and all those on their side had won, but he'd paid the highest price for it. He'd paid it all. Tony had settled the debt. One day, if he was sent back to his own world, that payment would come due again and he would have no choice but to settle up.
"You know what Mommy? I think we're going to like it here. I think running a casino sounds like fun. I don't know if I would place my bets on me right now -pretty sure I'm the dark horse in this race- but I'm willing to pay up when it's time to cash out."
Morgan only laughed, but Tony knew Pepper would understand what he was really saying.
Swinging Morgan between them was so normal. Pepper couldn't help but smile, and it helped her forget for a moment that she was leading them towards the end of their nuclear family. This must have been what anyone who walked the plank felt like. If the Dome had to do this, had to bring them here, Pepper was grateful that it was the timing it was. It could have been a lot worse, a lot more implosive to her personal life, and though this was going to be difficult, it was for her to deal with more than Morgan or Tony. If this was the price they had to pay for the two of them to have this borrowed time together, she would pay it, however it shook out.
Her smile was a watery one as Tony put together an excellent reasoning for her to not stay with them tonight. They were going to have to explain Dwight eventually, and Ryder, but there would be time for that. "Well, the Casino's been without you for a good three years now. Honestly, it's more Darcy's and Phil's than it is mine or yours." She'd had problems with even stepping foot in the building at first. She'd been fresh off their breakup and hadn't been able to conceive a way forward with their relationship. Time and distance had allowed her to make peace with it, though.
"There'll be time yet for that. And, you'll need to meet Aunt Kate. She's new, but she's one of my best friends here. Her favorite color is purple and sometimes, she's your age." Pepper grinned. "We live in a place that's sometimes really weird, but it's going to be fun, alright?" It was sometimes a little scary too, but no one had certainly ever died because of it. They'd keep Morgan safe.
"The apartment complex is really nice, too. We'll get your room all personalized for you and we'll go shopping for some new clothes, too. Tomorrow though, after you get some sleep."
"But Moooom!" Morgan protested. "I was just sleeping!"
"I know sweetie, but not for long. You're going to need to get a full night's rest before I introduce you to everyone," Pepper reasoned.
"I think I'm tired myself. Do you think you want to sleep with me tonight, Maguna? Keep Daddy company since Mommy has to go work at grown-up stuff?"
Tony and Pepper had been luckier with Morgan than most parents. She was a later-in-life child, but she was very independent. They had never had to fight her to get her to sleep in a separate crib or to stay in her own room. All the times she'd spent sharing a bed with them could have been counted on one hand, Tony was certain of it, but he liked the idea of making it a sleepover for the two of them on their first night in Madison Valley. His wife was going to go stay with her husband in this place and he was going to hold his daughter closer than ever to remind himself he was still the lucky one.
"Okay. If you want. I want to get stuff for my room though. Purple stuff. Aunt Kate can help pick it out since she's your friend, right Mommy?"
'Aunt Kate' sounded as if she could be a headache and a half, but Tony kept his smile as he nodded in agreement.
"Mommy probably has a lot of friends who have great taste. We'll see what we can do to make your room fun, okay? We may have to be careful about what we get here though since we're new and Daddy doesn't have a company or money saved up."
Morgan had never known a time when she couldn't have absolutely anything she wanted. They had been casual about buying her things -trying to instill in her things could be fun, but they weren't necessary to happiness- yet they'd never denied her anything. Money was something Tony Stark never imagined he'd worry about in his lifetime. Even if he hadn't done well with Stark Industries, his father had left him a legacy which could more than support him through his own lifetime.
Hell, Tony could have lived an excessive amount in his lifetime without seriously depleting his inheritance.
Pepper would come up with some way for them to keep Morgan happy even if they couldn't give her everything she wanted. Tony was certain their daughter wouldn't suffer from their time in Madison Valley. They might not be the family they'd once been and they might never get back the family stability they'd shared, but they were Morgan's parents and she was their first priority in life. Period.
"You and me can talk about jobs Daddy could do here. You want to do that? You and Mommy help tuck Daddy into bed and we talk about all the different jobs Daddy could do?"
It would have seemed ridiculous to tell a child to tuck her father in except Morgan had always been exceptional. She'd take to the idea with an excitement born of her age as much as her natural enthusiasm for life. Tony liked to think she'd inherited Pepper's kindness and his inquisitiveness. She was a nice mix of the best parts of both of them. He hoped being here would give her more than it could possibly take away.
Pepper was glad Tony had been the one to ask Morgan to stay with him tonight. He shouldn't be sleeping alone and she couldn't stay with him. Or well, she could, but that would complicate things further and her conversation with Dwight was going to take hours as it was. Maybe she'd stop to get coffee first, just to be awake enough and to give her a chance to settle down some away from her husband and daughter.
"That's right. Aunt Kate will love to help you out. She's an archer like Uncle Clint, but Uncle Clint here is from before he's married." That was the easiest way to explain it, and she'd make sure to really explain it to Tony later. He'd understand about pocket universes and alternate dimensions better than she did. No doubt he'd even be able to help Jane with her Bifrost research, if that was even something she wanted to continue now that she was about to have a baby. Or did have a baby. She couldn't remember when the other woman was due.
"We'll get you whatever you'd like," Pepper assured her daughter. "Don't worry about it, Tony. Mommy's saved up quite a bit being here," she explained, switching to addressing her daughter. For the first time in her entire life, she was richer than Tony Stark. That was mind boggling to the point where she couldn't think about it any longer than just the passing thought. Otherwise, she might cry again. "We just might not have as many options as back home is all. I bet we can make it work, though." They'd probably end up making something if they couldn't find what they wanted.
"We can have a sleepover, Daddy!" Morgan agreed easily. "Do you haaaaave to get a job?" She wanted to spend more time with her dad. "Oh I know! You can make cheeseburgers!"
Pepper stifled a laugh at that and shook her head. "She's your daughter alright," she commented, amusement all over her expression. This was almost normal. The apartment building was right there, halfway down the block, and it felt once more like she was walking towards her execution. That wasn't even remotely true though and she had to remind herself that everything would work out. They'd figure it out.
Fast food had never been in the cards for Tony Stark. He'd built his first circuit board at Morgan's age and he hadn't slowed down from that point forward until the Big Snap happened with Thanos. Tony imagined he'd have still been inventing if the Snap hadn't happened, wiping out half the universe and showing him the void in his life only family could fill. When others had been getting their first jobs or 'starter careers,' Tony had been head of R&D for the biggest weapons manufacturer in the world. All his business needs were attended to by Stane so all Tony had ever had to do was create.
Being a genius inventor was not the most marketable skill in a city the size of Madison Valley; Tony had no ideas for work beyond the knowledge he would have to figure something out because Morgan needed him to man up.
"I don't think making cheeseburgers is the best job for me. I think I'm better at eating cheeseburgers. Don't you think so?"
Tony mock-growled at his daughter, snapping his teeth as if he were going to take a bite out of her.
Hearing Pepper casually offer financial support was a blow to his ego he wasn't ready to take. It set Tony's teeth on edge in a way he wasn't faking at all. They both had their own strengths -he and Pepper- but Tony had never been dependent on anyone financially. Wealth was as much a part of his self-identity as his intellect. The idea of being supported by his wife not because he chose to stay home with their daughter but because he was unlikely to be able to provide the way Pepper could was more intolerable to him than the idea of his wife going off to live with her other husband.
"Daddy has to get a job, yes, because Mommy has a friend named Dwight who probably won't want her spending her money on Daddy."
The look Tony gave Pepper promised a long conversation when their daughter wasn't awake and listening avidly to every word they exchanged. He was not going to be her kept man or whatever it would be considered since he was now The Other Guy in her life. Tony would swallow his pride to ensure Morgan was taken care of, but he'd be damned if Pepper had to support him. There had to be something he could do to earn a living even if it was only a modest one.
"Mommy will help make my room pretty though, right?"
"Right," Tony agreed, swinging Morgan again before distracting her with the apartment complex in front of them, "I think that's our new home! Do you see it? The big apartment building? I wonder what floor we're on. I like being up high. Do you want to be up high? Get a good view of the city?"
A room with a view wouldn't work to distract Tony from all the concerns weighing him down, but it'd do perfectly well for Morgan. She was an easily-pleased child for one who'd never wanted anything in her life. Tony was proud of her for having few attachments to things and more interest in people and playing. A doll could be bought for her by anyone, but a game of Iron Girl versus Iron Man? No one could give her that except Daddy.
Pepper shot Tony a warning look regarding his commentary on Dwight's opinions of how she spent their money. She knew full well there were going to be multiple conversations regarding that while they tried to figure out how to live in Madison Valley. She was sure she'd be able to reason with him about Morgan's needs and wants, and being able to provide for them while he got himself settled and figured out what he wanted to do for employment. It wasn't surprising that he would need time to adjust to his bank account. She certainly had needed time herself when she'd first arrived, but a key part of their community here was helping others until they got their feet under them and she was going to do that for them whether Tony liked it or not. Pepper just hoped he wouldn't let his ego get in the way too much.
As he swung their daughter again, Pepper let the subject drop for now. She did take the opportunity to look through their paperwork again and noted that they were on one of the upper floors. "Not quite top floor, but close," she confirmed. That was good enough at least. "There's a pool here, too. Just in time for the weather to get warm and summer to start."
"Yay! I wanna go swimming!" Morgan declared as she stopped and tugged on her father's hand in a bid to get picked up. Pepper let go of her hand so that she wouldn't get in the way of that and focused on reading through the details and amenities list of the apartment complex. It had been a while since she lived there and she needed the refresher.
Pepper opened the front door for the pair of them and took care of pressing the button for the elevator on the main floor, but she let Morgan press the button for their apartment floor once they got inside. She couldn't find anything else to say at the moment, was still upset and unsure and emotional, so having a few minutes of quiet to just get herself centered again was important.
They got off the elevator and followed the signs to the apartment, which was a corner unit it seemed, away from the street. That was good news as far as Pepper was concerned. "Home sweet home," she murmured as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. She stepped aside though so that Tony and Morgan could enter first and she realized their little girl was fast asleep again.
"Why don't you put her down and then we can talk some more?" Pepper suggested softly. Not that she really wanted to, but there were probably a few more things they needed to talk about and then she had to say goodbye.
Morgan had learned to swim nearly before she could walk unassisted. Their cabin had been too close to the lake for Tony to be comfortable risking her safety; he'd taught her himself, trial and error which consisted of many occasions where Tony thought he'd die in the attempt. His biggest concern had been she'd drown because she got away from him one day. Morgan had taken to the water like a little mermaid. Pepper had convinced him to stop using waterproof diapers before Morgan was out of diapers. It turned out to help with potty-training: a side effect Tony hadn't expected.
Was there ever going to be a time when he stopped being amazed by the miracle of their little girl?
Tony hoped not as he swung her into his arms, her weight warm and welcome even in the heat of the day. She buried her face in his neck as they walked, her hand creeping up to put her thumb in reach again. They'd have to work on that. It would come in time. Tony had never had any doubts regarding his daughter's abilities to learn, adapt, and grow in ways he would always find surprising. It hurt to think his actions had resulted in his girl reverting back to a younger stage of her life to protect herself---she should have never worried Daddy wouldn't be there to do all the protecting she needed.
All the promises Tony wanted to make to Morgan -they wouldn't live in these apartments long, they could swim every day if Morgan wanted, they would make her room every bit as beautiful as her room at home, they would get her cheeseburgers three times a week- could wait until she was more rested. Preschoolers were still in their very earliest years of childhood. Morgan didn't like taking a nap, but she needed one all the same. It usually took multiple stories if not Tony or Pepper one lying beside her until she gave up to sleep's call, but once she was out, she was out.
Pepper moved out of the way and Tony carried his daughter into the generic apartment which would be their home for the foreseeable future. He knew there were two bedrooms, but he put Morgan on the love seat instead. He didn't want her out of his sight. Tony just needed to be able to see her. She wouldn't care if she was on the sofa or the bed in the master suite or the bed in the guest room. Morgan wasn't going to be waking up until her body had rested up enough. Usually she napped for an hour and a half to two hours during the day. Bed time was still early compared to Tony's life before having a child, but 'morning' came earlier too.
"She's out. I doubt she'll wake up for at least two hours this go around. The thumb-sucking," Tony linked his hands, stretched his arms over his head, "You think that's because of me? The whole dying and funeral thing? She was over that."
All the things Pepper could want to talk about weighed on Tony as he let his arms fall to his sides. Looking at his wife, he considered the topics he could stand to discuss with her. They had a lot of ground to cover. Tony wasn't doing much better than Morgan though and most of it was going to have to wait for another day. He didn't feel up to hashing out the biggest issues. Covering the finer details of the next few days would do them both until they could have a sit-down to deal with the points they needed to shave off.
"This is the point where you tell me you're sorry? You never wanted things to be this way? You didn't know if you'd ever see me again? I know all that, Pepper. I know. You don't owe me any apologies or any more explanations. I get it. The whole time travel thing? I figured that out. I get the situation we're in exists because there are alternate realities and dimensions and time pockets and all those fascinating little things which are so cool in concept but suck so amazingly hard in reality."
Tony twitched his shoulders irritably. He ached all over from whatever remnants existed from his use of the Infinity Stones.
"I will get a job. I will support her. I will be fine with you helping her. I am not fine with you helping me. People think because I inherited money, I didn't earn my way. You should know they're wrong. Are you going to want to take her? I mean, are we going to need to work out some kind of custody agreement soon? Every other weekend and alternating holidays? That kind of thing?"
She wasn't entirely surprised to see Tony settle her on the loveseat. It helped her to have Morgan so close, especially knowing that she would leave soon and not be there when her daughter woke up in the morning. "It might be. The past few days have been a lot to take in. I wasn't going to worry about it for a few more weeks." Pepper wasn't going to take away something that comforted her daughter right now, that was for sure. Once they were settled, if she was still sucking her thumb, then they could help her through it. "A little comfort goes a long way," she reasoned.
Her lip quivered ever so slightly as she felt her throat tighten. Tears welled up in her eyes again but she held them back. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. She loved Dwight, for different reasons but in a lot of the same ways as she loved Tony. Pepper knew she couldn't have them both, that she was going to need to decide between them, but that just wasn't something she could face right now. But she knew he was hurting and she wanted to comfort him. To hold him and kiss him and go to bed with him, Morgan nestled between them, and wake up in the morning like it was all just a bad dream. That wouldn't happen though and it would only make things worse.
"It does suck. This is probably one of the most painful things I've ever experienced living here," Pepper admitted. "I just need time to wrap my head around this." So much had happened - years of it - and it was all just too much.
She sighed and took a step closer, only to stop herself because she thought better of it. Maybe some distance would be good. "I know you'll get a job and that you'll support her. Whatever you decide to do for work, it'll be good. I just- I don't want you to feel like you need to rush. You just died, Tony. Take a minute to breathe. That's all I'm offering." Pepper didn't want to fight him on it, but she was inclined to at least press. He had went through a deeply traumatic event and then came back to life in a place that was more complicated than most, at least emotionally speaking.
As for the custody thing, Pepper inhaled sharply. "No, we don't- I don't need a piece of paper to dictate our lives. I won't take her from you. I do want to be able to spend time with her, to introduce her to my friends and the people in my life here." She was purposefully not saying Dwight by name at the moment, but that included Ryder, too. "I want to be here for her, for the both of you. I know you need her more than I do." A few tears dripped down her cheeks that she hastily wiped away. It was so hard to do this because she loved her daughter, had wanted her long before Tony had gotten himself stuck in space, so to walk away was hard because she never wanted Morgan to think she didn't love her. She just loved Tony too much to leave him on his own.
"I'm sorry. I- You're tired. I should-" She should go. She knew she should. Pepper just couldn't bring herself to leave just yet.
Tears had rarely factored into any of Tony's entanglements with the fairer sex. He knew he could count on one hand the number of times he'd made a woman cry before becoming serious with Pepper; her tears mattered more to him than any he'd shed himself. It tore him apart as surely as the Infinity Stones had just watching his wife -not his wife, not here, not likely ever again- fail to be able to hold back the tears dropping out of her eyes, staining her cheeks, making her voice weak in a way Pepper had never been.
She was the strongest woman he knew. There was nothing weak about Pepper.
"I won't keep you from seeing her. She's your baby the same as mine. I want her back at night if that's---if we can manage that. With the thumb-sucking and how she already hates bedtime, I just don't want to put her in a position where she has to learn to settle down in more than one bed at a time."
It went without saying Tony hated he was going to have to sleep train their daughter into a new bed in an apartment which could fit into his cabin's living room at home. They didn't have any options as far as Tony could see. Madison Valley was going to be where they all called home until whatever mystical force controlled the place decided it was done jerking them around. Tony hated being at the mercy of some unknown puppeteer, but he wouldn't protest too loudly.
He was alive. He had his daughter. Pepper was alive and safe. She was with them in this place if not with them in the same sense she'd been in their family only moments before.
"I do think you need to leave before she wakes up. In all honesty? I need you to leave as soon as you can because you're killing me here, Pep. I'm dying all over again watching you cry, knowing I can't touch you, knowing no matter how much I love you, how much your daughter loves you, you're still going to leave to go to another family neither of us should have to compete against for your love. You have a life here. You have a family here. I get it. I get all of it. I will find a way to make sure Morgan gets it, too. You aren't the bad guy here. I just---I can't take too much more. I'm tired. I already fought the scariest fight I could ever dream up. I don't have it in me to fight for this right now, too."
Giving up wasn't something Tony Stark had ever done. He was a man known for his stubbornness; his determination to succeed had been the cornerstone upon which the modern innovation giant Stark Industries now was had been built. Tony hated to ask for a reprieve or a break of any kind. Terrorists had captured him, tortured him, kept him locked in a damn cave, and he'd never given up on getting free. He had escaped.
Tony wished he could go back to that cave again. It'd been a lot easier to live in and find his way out of than Madison Valley was proving to be.
"How do we get in touch again? Are you in the phone they gave me? Do you want me to call you or--or--or text?"
Cell phones had never been something Tony liked using. He'd always had the most innovative one on the market to try to balance out his natural distaste for them. Sometimes it had even worked. As he tried to imagine himself negotiating visits with the love of his life, Tony suddenly flashed back to that damn spaceship. It was the middle of nowhere in deep space and he was running out of oxygen and he kept recording stupid messages for Pepper because she deserved every word he could give her. She deserved his last words. His last breath? Tony had wanted to preserve his last breath to tell her he loved her because he'd needed to give it to her because he owed it to her because she was worth it and because they were supposed to have forever and he'd lost that when he'd lost to Thanos.
Catching his breath with a strangled sound, Tony managed to force out, "I will never, ever stop loving you. That little girl over there? She's my miracle. Our miracle. You did that for us. We made that together and no one and nothing and nowhere can ever take her away from us. Just. Know that. And. Yeah. Tell Dwight hello from the Starks. We're in 7D or whatever here."
Tony was so exhausted he wanted to lay down on the floor beside Morgan rather than going into either bedroom to sleep. He hoped things went easier for Pepper when she went back to her other family. Tony didn't think it was fair for both of them to be struggling. Surely it would be easier for Pepper. Surely.
Pepper waved off his explanation. "It's fine, Tony," she said tiredly. "It makes sense for her to stay here." As much as it hurt her, she knew she could take it. Tony had a lot to process - so did she, she knew that, but it wasn't the same - so making sure Morgan got to sleep in her bed in the apartment was fine. It was going to suck, but it was fine.
"I-" Anything else she wanted to say just caught in her throat. He was right. The longer this went on, the more it was going to hurt all of them. "Text is fine, or over the network. You can filter to a specific person." A beat then, "I'm under the name Pepper Hendrickson." Her voice was thick with emotion as she did her best to keep herself from crying any more than she had already. She needed to leave. After another pained, lingering look, Pepper took a deep breath and turned her back to her husband and daughter. If she looked at either of them for a moment more, she might stay and that would just make things worse and more complicated and painful. So painful.
"I love you, too, Tony," she said, ever so softly. It was more for her than for him, an admission that she couldn't just turn off her own feelings either. But that wasn't going to help them right now. She did have another family to go home to, to check on and explain and she was going to need the walk to calm herself down. She just put one foot in front of the other and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her. It felt like she'd just plunged a knife into her heart, like she'd watched Tony die all over again.
It was unbelievably difficult but somehow she managed to get to the elevator without causing a scene. Pepper knew she just needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It was the only way she was going to survive this.