Bruce Banner (notthatkindofdr) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2019-06-01 18:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !completed gdoc, !log, ~2019 june, ~25 points, ~~bruce banner (notthatkindofdr), ~~natasha romanoff (blackwidow_nat) |
Who: Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Banner
What: Memories
Where: Their bedroom
When: Saturday morning
Warnings: Endgame spoilers; references to character deaths
Status: complete gdoc
“Let me go. It’s okay” Natasha smiled at Clint before using her foot to push off the cliff face and pull free of Clint’s grip causing herself to fall...
Sitting bolt upright in bed Natasha gasped for air as she woke up, her body and mind disorientated and panicked before slowly coming back to the present moment and realising she was in Madison and not on Vormir. She wasn’t dead, she was alive but she had no idea what had happened after sacrificing herself. Had the others defeated Thanos? Had it all gone as planned?
***
The euphoric feeling Bruce had when he returned to the facility with the time stone in hand faded rapidly when he did a quick glance around and realized they were one short. Where was Nat? His heart beat fastened as Steve asked that very question and they all knew immediately what Clint’s little head shake meant. God damn it. The whole point of doing this was to get everyone back, not lose more.
There wasn’t much opportunity to mourn though. Now that they had all six stones, they needed to undo what Thanos had done five years ago. It was a risk, one that only he was capable of taking, and he held his breath as he donned the gauntlet and snapped.
None of them expected to have to fight Thanos again, but this time, with all of them together, they were able to keep him from erasing half of humanity. Bruce didn’t feel like it really counted as a victory though, given that they’d lost both Natasha and Tony in the process. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy and he wandered a little away from the rest of the mourners at Tony’s funeral.
And then bolted awake at the sound of his wife gasping for her. Instinctively, Bruce reached out to wrap his arms around Natasha, trying to make sense of all the memories and feelings currently racing through his mind. The most important thing was that the woman he loved was safe and sound beside him and he buried his face in her hair, knowing they would need to discuss what just happened, but figuring they could take a minute first.
***
The moment Bruce wrapped his arms around her Natasha’s own arms wound around him in return and she held him tightly. Breathing him in she made her heart rate settle as she took a moment to appreciate being alive and here with her husband. She had never been so grateful to wake up, it was just a shame it wasn’t a dream and was instead the future, or lack thereof, she was destined to return to at some point.
“Are you okay?” she asked him softly, “Did everybody make it?” she needed to know and they had to talk about it no matter how hard it was going to be.
***
Bruce shook his head. These were, by far, the worst set of memories he’d gotten from home and the idea that either of them could eventually go back to that was terrifying. He was guessing from the way that she was clinging to him that she’d gotten similar memories and wished he had the words to comfort her.
“We lost you and Tony,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “We got everyone else back.” And they’d killed Thanos. Again.
***
It was definitely the most traumatic set of memories Natasha had gotten, and she knew it wasn’t something she would get over easily. Remembering the moment she died was terrible enough and the not knowing what happened to her family and friends made things worse. Time would definitely be the healer in this instance.
Hearing that everybody had been returned did ease something in her chest, though it saddened her to know they had lost Tony as well. Especially since he had a daughter. “It worked” she sighed softly, arms tightening around Bruce slightly, “I’m glad it worked. But Tony...what happened?”
***
“Thanos attacked. Again.” They’d opened the door for him to follow them with their time travel, so Bruce figured they only had themselves to blame for that. “I used the gauntlet to undo what he’d done the first time, but then we had to fight his army.” Luckily they had a hell of a lot of backup.
He wasn’t entirely sure what all led to Tony needing to use the gauntlet a second time, he just knew the outcome. “He had to use the gauntlet and it… was too powerful.” It had almost been too powerful for the Hulk, so it was no surprise that it took out Tony. “The last thing I got was being at his funeral.”
***
It sounded like things had almost gone to hell again, but they’d done it in the end as she had hoped they would. They’d prevailed and gotten everybody back. It sounded like Tony had known what he was doing, a sacrifice much like her own. Still for those left behind it wouldn’t have been easy.
“I’m so sorry Bruce” she whispered quietly, it was hard having the memories of there mixed up with the life she had here. If she remembered Madison when she was sent back would she have still made the choices she made there? She wasn’t entirely sure she could say yes.
***
There was nothing she needed to be sorry for in Bruce’s opinion. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I tried to bring you back when I used the gauntlet. I tried so hard, Nat.” He hated that two people he cared about had to sacrifice themselves for humanity, but it was something they all knew was possible when they signed on for the whole Avengers thing. He knew that if he’d been in the same position as either of them, he would have made the same choice.
“Shit. If Pepper comes back, it’s going to be dealing with this,” he said. “And knowing that she managed to have a daughter.” He’d told her that there was a very slim chance of her being able to carry a pregnancy to term. He was glad she’d beat those odds, but couldn’t imagine how she would handle returning here without Morgan.
***
Natasha gave a small smile at that, it may not have worked but she appreciated that he’d tried. “Thank you for trying” she told him, it was definitely something they all accepted as part of the job but it didn’t make it any easier when they lost someone. She knew that. She’d tried to hold them together as much as possible in those 5 years.
“Oh no. You’re right, she’s going to be devastated” That she had managed to have a child was incredible but to then return here and lose it all, Pepper was going to be incredibly distressing.
***
Focusing on someone else’s pain was somehow more tolerable than thinking about their own losses. “I wonder if any of the others are waking up with new memories,” Bruce said. These things tended to happen in waves and this was the second time in as many weeks that they’d been hit.
“I kind of want to just keep you in bed with me all day,” he added. It was selfish and not remotely feasible, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle having Natasha out of his sight knowing what she faced if she ever got sent home again.
***
“Probably. You know what it’s like, one or two start it off and then the rest follow like a cascade” Natasha said, she was glad Bucky and Shuri and Strange would have better memories thanks to the team being able to reverse Thanos’ snap.
“Just the day? I was thinking the week” she told him, only half joking. She was going to need some time to adjust to it all. Even someone as trained and strong as Natasha couldn’t handle experiencing their own death without some resulting trauma.
***
Bruce was thinking more forever, not that it would likely prevent the dome from sending her home if it was determined.
“We’re going to have to talk to Cassie,” he said. That was not going to be a fun conversation. Their daughter had pretty serious abandonment issues and knowing that her mother would return home to her death if the dome ever sent her back was not going to be good for her emotional well being. However, Bruce knew it would be far worse if they tried to keep the information from her and she found out later. “I’m not sure how to even begin with that.”
***
Forever would work for Natasha, she’d be happy with that but the damn dome was always the one who had the final say.
“Neither am I” she admitted, “But we’ll work it out together. We just need to reassure her as much as we can” There were limits to that of course, they couldn’t make too many promises since they had little control over staying but perhaps now there was more chance Natasha would remain should the others go back for new events in the future.
***
Maybe reassuring Cassie would also reassure Bruce. It seemed unlikely, but he’d take whatever he could get.
“If anyone else gets memories, you’re going to be inundated with messages,” he said. “You ready for that?” If she wasn’t, he would be happy to step in and intercept those messages until she was.
***
When things like this happened they would all take what they could get.
“Honestly? Probably not” she admitted, Bruce was one of the only people she didn’t feel the need to always put on a brave face. “Give me a few days and I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it but right now? I just want to curl up here with you and not think about anything” It may not be the courageous response but it was an honest one.
***
“I’ll take care of it,” Bruce promised. It was the least he could do for her. They definitely needed some time to deal with this new knowledge and sharing it with Cassie was going to be difficult enough without trying to comfort the rest of their friends.
He leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead. “How about I go make breakfast? You can get a shower and join me in the kitchen.” He also realized that she might need a little time alone to process everything and as much as he hated to let her out of his sight, he wanted to make sure she had what she needed.
***
“You’re the best” Natasha told him with a smile, it wouldn’t be for long but telling Cassie was bound to take its toll too. Their daughter was likely to react badly. Not that Natasha could blame her.
“Sounds great. I’ll be quick” she added, Bruce wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to part but Natasha knew she needed a bit of time on her own. She was reminded how lucky she was to have him and the life they had together here.
***
Bruce stole another kiss before climbing out of bed and pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. “And I’ll make the coffee extra strong,” he said. It was better than nothing, though he kind of wished they had whiskey or vodka to add to it.
***
“The best” she told him, blowing him a kiss and letting herself enjoy the moment for a while before getting out of bed herself and heading towards the shower.