Who: Clary and Jace When: Backdated to him telling her 'things' about home Where: Jace's apartment What: A difficult conversation. Rating: TBD Status: Closed; Incomplete
Clary did not know how to feel. Part of her was simply relieved that Jace had finally reached out to her, but the other half of her was filled with a deep sense of worry, anxiety, and fear. Jace did not ask her for a simple date, though, to be fair, nothing about their lives ever consisted of the normal variety anyway. He'd asked her over to his apartment to talk about home. Specifically, to tell Clary the things about home she didn't know yet. Because Clary had not lived them yet. Even without details, Clary's mindset alone could fill in the blanks about context at the very least and all of it was bad. Prior history spoke volumes about what the future could hold and even if Clary had come from a time when things seemed to be looking up for the group, Clary and Jace specifically, she knew how fast it could change. Where darkness could snuff out their rare ray of light. Even if he had reassured her there were good things too, Clary could not help the foreboding feelings swirling within her. How much bad did they have to live though to get to those good things in their future?
As she bundled up for the winter chill, Clary paused briefly to look in the mirror. Despite the confusion of this place, of Jace and the others, of timelines, Clary actually did not have the normal circles under her eyes. She was pale, freckled, and her red hair was somewhat untamed, but she knew Jace didn't care about those things when it came to her. Even if she wagged a silent battle in her head about adding in a bit of makeup, she eventually succumbed to simply going natural. Jace had always preferred it that way and even if he was future Jace, she doubted he'd changed that much. Or, at least, she hoped that was the case. Along side those feelings of fear over what he had to tell her, there were the feelings of fear over how he felt about her. Could he get past the fact that she was younger than him? That she wasn't completely up to speed on the timeline? That she hadn't lived those moments beside him? Fought in those battles? Could he still...love her? Clary knew it was foolish; if he didn't want anything to do with her, he would have never reached out in the first place. And she didn't believe there was a world in existence where Jace didn't want her in his life. Not after everything he'd said. Not after everything they'd felt together.
The walk over was short, but long enough to ensure that Clary lost herself in thought more than once. She knew it had to be a lot to take in for Jace too and she felt bad that she couldn't do more. That she couldn't be that Clary. It bothered her to know end that this place just had to do that to him...to them. Had to make things complicated. It wasn't fair, but no part of their relationship had consisted of fair since the start really and she knew that. If it wasn't complicated, it wasn't Clary and Jace. Still, she cursed Madison Valley for it anyway as she took the stairs to his apartment. The door loomed in front of her far too soon and even if she'd steeled herself every step and took a million deep breaths to steady her nerves, all of it remained strong, flooding back and she raised a pale hand to gently rap at the door. Would he still look at her the same? Like the best thing he'd ever seen? Nervous, excited, enraptured by her? Or would there be nothing? And despite all of this, she still longed to see him so badly. To touch his face or even just his shoulder, his hand. To know he was real and Jace. The man she'd brought back to life. The man she loved.