Who: Delirium, Kenny and their kid Applesauce What: Meeting their kid When: Afternoon Where: Random street Warnings: Language Status: Closed/Completed gdoc
Unlike most kids, when Soivnelr (pronounced Sarah) Dragonfly Delenny Applesauce Kelirium - Applesauce for short - found herself entirely by herself in a different place than she’d been the moment before, she was neither particularly bothered nor particularly surprised. She had a good feeling that someone would come along and explain things soon, or eventually, and in the meantime she never had trouble taking care of herself. Besides, with two more or less immortal parents, it wasn’t exactly like she was going to die. There really wasn’t anything she had to worry about.
She giggled and skipped through town, teleporting every few feet whenever she felt like it. She could feel where her mom and dad were, and she thought about going to them, but she rather liked being on her own. It was more fun when you could do whatever you wanted without anyone looking over you all the time.
Some people were looking weirdly at her, but she was used to that too. People usually looked weirdly at a small child skipping along by herself with brightly coloured hair. And any time someone asked her if she was ok, she just told them, in her sweet angelic small child voice, to fuck off. They usually left her alone after that.
Around the moment that she appeared, Delirium felt something very strange. It felt almost like her, but… not. And a little bit like Kenny too. She frowned. That was weird. Weird enough to get her out of her realm, even though she was having an absolutely lovely time in there. She went to the source of the feeling, stopping only to grab Kenny on the way.
Literally grab - she appeared beside him, touched him, and then without explaining anything teleported him with her to where the energy was coming from.
Applesauce groaned slightly when she saw her mom and dad - so much for unsupervised fun - but then grinned intensely when she saw the confused looks on their faces. She liked confused looks. They were usually a sign something fun was going to happen.
“Hi Mom! Hi Dad!” she said cheerfully.
*** It was a good thing Kenny was adaptable and didn't mind when Delirium suddenly appeared and teleported him to another place in town. That and he was kind of glad because a couple of his kids were starting to argue on what movie to watch in Netflix. And he'd rather deal with whatever craziness Del had than deal with bratty kids.
He blinked a bit when they arrived and he spotted a little girl with brightly colored hair. And who called him 'dad' and Del 'mom'. "Aw, shit," he muttered. Not another kid. Seriously, he already had quite a few now. He sighed then turn to Delirium.
"Well, good luck taking care of her. Later," he said, turning to walk back home.
***
Del frowned. She reached back and grabbed Kenny without looking at him, her attention focused on the small child in front of her. “Why are you calling me Mom?” she asked.
“Well,” Applesauce said, “Because you’re my mom, silly.”
Delirium frowned. She didn’t remember having any kids, but she had heard something about kids from the future appearing. But that meant…
“EWWWWW,” she said. She looked at Kenny, letting go of him as if he was suddenly covered in slime. “Does that mean we did the sex thing?”
Before Kenny could answer or leave again, Applesauce giggled and grabbed onto his leg. “You always forget, mom. You made me by just touching him. Poof!” she giggled. “I’m Applesauce, in case you forgot that too.”
*** Damn, Kenny was kind of hoping he could get away. Then again, it was Delirium. She could always just teleport in front of him and block him or something. There probably wasn't really any way to leave unless she let him. So for now, he just sighed as he turned around.
He just gave Del a blank look when she got all grossed out and glanced over at the little girl. He was actually kind of curious if they did have sex in the future or whatever. Turns out, they didn't but how their kid came into existence was still pretty weird but not too surprising.
"Applesauce? You gotta be shitting me," he muttered and turned to Del. "Bet you must've named her." It definitely sounded like something she'd do.
***
“Sometimes I get extra names,” Applesauce said. “I have five right now, but I want more. Mom gives me an extra one every now and then,” she said with a grin. “You should give me names sometimes too, but you don’t. Meanie. Meanie Daddy.” She stuck her tongue out at Kenny, although it was clear she was joking.
“Yeah,” said Delirium, “Meanie Daddy.” She grinned. She liked that it rhymed, and started chanting it. Applesauce joined in, and soon the two of them were skipping around in a circle chanting “Meanie Daddy Meanie Daddy Meanie Daddy”.
*** "Why the fuck would I give you any more names? Seriously, two should be enough," Kenny said to her, shaking his head. Five names? Was she fucking serious? He rolled his eyes when she could him a meanie. Whatever. He knew he was mean and didn't care. It really was no surprise his daughter in the future thought so.
Except now Delirium was calling him that too and the two of them were dancing and chanting. Kenny already had a headache and was in pain from his punishment from Death, he really didn't need a bigger headache. He even wished for Death to come and kill him. She was the only one here who could kill him for good. But then he realized Death probably wouldn't. Hell, she'd probably find it amusing and just sit back and watch.
He just gave them an annoyed look before turning and walking away from them while they continued chanting.
***
Delirium was totally oblivious to Kenny leaving, but Applesauce was not. “Mom, Dad’s leaving again,” she whined, and Delirium stopped chanting and dancing for long enough to look over. She frowned, and said, “I don’t think he is.” Then she focused just a little, and made the world change for Kenny, just until they figured out what to do with the kid. For the next little while, any time he tried to walk away, he would find himself instead walking back towards them.
Del smiled at Applesauce. “Shh, I made Daddy come back, but don’t tell him what I did,” she said, and giggled. “Let’s keep it our little secret.”
“Ok!” said Applesauce, giggling back. “He’s going to be fucking pissed,” she added.
*** Kenny didn't really get too far when he noticed he was walking towards the two rather than away from them. He frowned then turned back the other way, only to end back up where he was again. He glared at both of them, knowing full well one of them was messing with him. He'd guessed it was Del, but who knows, maybe Applesauce had some of her mom's abilities too.
Either way, he grumbled. "Are you fucking serious? Let me go."
***
“What do you mean?” Applesauce asked innocently.
“We’re just dancing here,” Delirium added, just as innocently. She was really liking this whole having a kid thing. It was really fun having someone to team up with. “No one’s holding onto you or anything.”
*** Kenny didn't believe either of them one bit. He knew one of them was making it so that whenever he walked away, he'd somehow end up walking towards them. His guess was Delirium because at least he knew for sure she had the powers to do so.
"That is bullshit and you both know it."
***
The two of them grinned in perfect harmony, but neither one acknowledged anything.
“Why do you want to leave anyway, Daddy?” said Applesauce. “You should want to play with me! PIGGYBACK!” she yelled without warning, and ran at him, jumping onto his back.
*** Kenny just narrowed his eyes at both of them.
"Because I don't want to," he began but before he could say anything else, Applesauce had jumped on his back. And being that he was currently being punished by Death and was covered in scars and bruises and was in a lot of pain, the little girl jumping on him just made things hurt a lot worse.
"Ow, fuck! Get the fuck off of me!"
***
Applesauce frowned, but let go. “Well fuck you too,” she said sincerely, and went back to give Delirium a hug instead. Delirium helped the little girl onto her shoulders, then made her hover a few feet above her head, which cheered Applesauce up immediately.
“So what do we do with a kid?” Delirium asked Kenny curiously, since she had absolutely no idea.
*** Even if he was in better shape, Kenny still didn't like giving little kids piggyback rides. He was definitely glad Applesauce decided to get off and go to Delirium instead. Really, with her being able to make the girl hover, it was probably better anyway.
He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe we can take her to the park and leave her there."
***
Delirium frowned. “I don’t think we’re supposed to leave kids alone,” she said, thoughtfully, as if she couldn’t quite remember. Then she grinned. “Isn’t that right Applesauce? If I’m a good mother I’m supposed to stay with you, right?”
Applesauce was torn. On one hand, she did have fun being by herself sometimes; on the other hand, she didn’t want her parents to leave her there for good. “You don’t have to stay with me all the time,” Applesauce said after a moment. “I can take care of myself,” she said proudly. “But I don’t wanna be alone. Being alone is boring as fuck after a while. Besides,” she said with a grin, “You can’t leave right now, daddy.”
*** "I know, I still want to ditch her," Kenny shrugged. His parents were too drunk or high to really check on him and his siblings, and part of him knew that was wrong. But now that he knew how annoying kids actually are, he kind of understood why they'd just leave them be.
And this was half Delirium's kid. Did she really need to be watched over all the time? He wasn't sure. He didn't know whether or not she had some of her mother's abilities. If she did, well, he couldn't stop it. He was immortal but that was it. He had no other powers, certainly nothing to stop her magic if she had any.
"Yeah, because you or your mom did some stupid magic that makes me come back," he grumbled, still annoyed by that.
***
“Wouldn’t have to if you weren’t such a cowardly runaway,” Applesauce retorted, sticking her tongue out.
“Let’s all go to the park together!” Delirium suggested. The argument was starting to get to her now and she could feel her mood dipping, and she didn’t want her mood to dip. She didn’t like it when her mood dipped.
*** "Yep, that's totally me. There, I admit. Can I go home now?"
Except now Delirium was suggesting they go to the park. "Are you fucking serious?" He was so not in the mood to go to the park. Especially not with two childish girls who probably want to play hide and seek or some lame shit like that.
***
“You’re the one who’s not fucking serious,” said Applesauce in reply. “You’re a fucking joke of a dad.” She was getting tired of his moodiness, as she often did, and her own temper was starting to flare up.
Delirium looked partly shocked at Applesauce’s language, and partly looked almost excited at the thought of seeing what might happen if Applesauce lost her temper. She said nothing.
*** "Why, 'cause I won't take you the park and push you on the swings or some dumb shit like that?" He really did not want to do that. Or do anything with his kids and he wasn't shy about letting them all know that.
He just shrugged, not bothering with arguing because it was true. He didn't want kids at all and he really couldn't see himself being a good dad in any future or alternate universe or whatever. "Yep, sure am. Worst dad ever. That’s me."
***
“Yeah,” Applesauce said grumpily. “You are.” She turned her back on him and grabbed hold of Delirium’s hand instead. “Come on, Mom,” she said. “Let’s go to the park.” Then she grinned mischievously. “Let’s go wreak some havoc.”
Delirium let Kenny out of the always-come-back-to-them loop, but she wasn’t quite done with him yet. “I’m gonna tell Death,” she said, although there was a good chance that as soon as he was out of sight she would forget. “She’ll be mad too.”
*** "Cool, have fun," Kenny shrugged at his daughter. Actually, part of him did hoped she'd create some havoc at the park. Hopefully he'd read about something on the network regarding that tomorrow.
"Yeah, I'm sure she will." He didn't really care, though. Death was already pissed at him. Her being more angry with him wasn't really much to him. He was too tired and in pain to really care that Applesauce thought he was a bad dad or that Delirium was going to tell her sister on him. He just wanted to go home and sleep if he can.
"Anyways, later," he waved as he headed home, smiling a bit with his back turned that he was no longer trapped by Del and that he didn’t have to go to the park with them after all.