Trish Walker (trish_walker) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-12-22 00:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, ~2018 december, ~25 points, ~~trish walker (trish_walker), ~~~jessica jones (eponymously) |
Who: Jessica Jones and Trish Walker
What: Christmas gift and tension
When: Friday evening
Where: Jess's apartment
Warnings: Some language, discussion of death, alcohol
Status: Completed Gdoc
It was still a few days before Christmas, but just in case this went badly (and who was she kidding, of course it was going to go badly), Trish didn’t want to ruin Jess’s actual Christmas. And who knows, if this went well, maybe Trish would be able to make actual plans with Jess for Christmas. She wasn’t counting on it though.
She knocked on Jessica’s door, having found her contact information on the Network and waited nervously. She had with her a bottle wrapped in Christmas paper, a whiskey that Trish knew was nicer than what Jess usually drank. She hoped it would help bridge the gap, but ultimately she just wanted to give her sister something nice for Christmas.
***
A few days before Christmas and Jessica was indulging her favorite past time: sleeping off an hangover. It was one of the more positive aspects (at least in Jessica’s mind) that her abilities allowed her to sleep off a night of heavy drinking faster than a normal human, but that didn’t mean the headache wasn’t beyond painful. The sound of knock at her door seemed to increase in tenfold as it reached Jessica’s ears and she let out a loud groan. Who the fuck could that be? She rarely had visitors which suited Jessica just fine. She didn’t like people and the less she had to deal with them the better she enjoyed it. Apparently, she hadn’t managed to piss off the particular person knocking at her door yet. Too bad.
Part of her wanted to ignore it and allow herself to fall back into the inky black void that was sleep after overindulging the night before. Booze was one of the only ways she could fall asleep without suffering through night terrors brought on by a shit ton of memories life and alcohol couldn’t erase from her mind. The other half knew she should at least make an effort to guarantee the person never came to bother her again. Another groan and Jessica was sitting up in bed, pushing her dark hair back from her face, and moving to stand. The world was steady which meant her debilitating hangover was over...for today at least.
She covered the distance to the door and took a glimpse through the peephole. Shit. Shit. Trish was standing at her door, an obvious wrapped botting in her hands, and looking nervous and anxious. Both emotions were justified given who was currently standing on the other side of the door. Again, Jessica almost turned and walked back to her bedroom, but after a sigh she unlocked the door and opened it. Propping a shoulder against the door frame, she folded her arms upon her chest.
“I’d ask if this is part of some charity kick you’re on, but that wouldn’t involve handing out free booze I’m pretty fucking sure,” Jessica said, not bothering to keep the sharp edge from her tone. “So, what the hell are you doing here, Trish?”
***
“Christmas present?” said Trish, holding forward the wrapped bottle. She could tell Jess was in a bad mood, which wasn’t unusual, but also wasn’t ideal. “I’m not trying to start anything, Jess, I just wanted to give you something nice for the holiday season. You don’t have to return the favour, but I hope you’ll at least take it.”
This wasn’t exactly going as Trish had hoped, but it wasn’t going worse than she had thought it would, so that was something.
***
Even after everything that had happened between them, Trish had gone and bought her a Christmas present. It was so like Trish too. Still, as much as Jessica would have enjoyed slamming the door in her face (well, not enjoy really), she was also not one to turn down free booze and probably free booze that was of the top shelf variety. So, in the wake of that argument, Jessica reached out and snagged the bottle from her former best friend’s hands. “Hell. Who am I to turn down free booze?” Jessica replied before ripping off the colorful paper and taking in the name quickly. “Yep. Top shelf. Oh Trish you shouldn’t have.”
Truthfully, Trish started something simply by showing up at her door. Free booze or not. Jessica paused, body angled in the position to turn and slip back into her apartment. However that annoying, nagging thing called a conscience was raging and after a moment. She sighed loudly. “You started something by showing up at the damn door Trish, but as much as two sizes two small heart wants to slam the door in your face, I won’t,” Jessica said bluntly before moving to step aside. “Did you want to come in and have a glass?” One glass. Just one.
***
“I would love that, Jess,” said Trish truthfully. It was better than she’d hoped; at best she’d expected to have a short conversation with Jess in the doorway before being sent on her way. Actually being invited into the apartment felt like a Christmas miracle.
Trish glanced around the messy apartment. “I see your decorating style hasn’t changed,” she teased gently. “It’s almost comforting.” She cleared off a spot for herself and sat down. “How have you been?” she asked sincerely, while waiting for Jess to offer the promised glass.
***
It was a Christmas miracle. When she’d opened the door, she’d fully intended to simply take the gift and shut the door in the blond’s face. While there was an obvious understanding as to why Trish had killed her mother, there still remained a severe lack of acceptance. Mostly, this was due to the fact that Jessica didn’t understand why Trish had to be the one to kill her mother. As it was, her mother was turning herself in and she knew full well the police would end up doing the dirty half of that job. Trish didn’t have to be the one to kill her and yet she had, believing Jessica in danger. Jessica had been in danger for some time with her mother, but time spent on the road had changed a lot of that. Unfortunately, she’d never had the chance to explain that to Trish before shit hit the fan. It was too late now obviously.
Jessica shut the door behind the blond and locked it back up. No, Jessica’s apartment would certainly not be on the cover of any sort of interior decorating magazines anytime soon, but this was not something she particularly cared about either. She moved into the kitchen and took down two glasses, watching out of the corner of her eye as Trish brushed aside some random junk she had lying about on the couch. Remnants of another case that she should have filed away, but didn’t. Jessica slipped back into the living room, opening the bottle and pouring them both a glass; she claimed hers immediately for a sip...a large sip.
“I didn’t think I would ever live to hear you say my mess of an apartment is comforting,” Jessica countered, taking a seat opposite her best friend. “As for your question: I’m alive.” She looked into the contents of her glass for a second, fighting within herself to ask how Trish was doing and eventually she relented to the conscience within her. “How about you?”
***
“Also alive,” Trish said, with a little bit of a smile. It almost felt normal. Of course Jess was being a bit snarky with her, but if she hadn’t been then that would have been very much not normal. “Rebuilding here. It’s not the same as back home, but there’s something to be said for a bit of quiet every now and then.” She took the glass from Jess gracefully and sipped a little. If she was being honest, she could use a bit of liquid courage herself at the moment. She desperately wanted to rebuild her relationship with Jess, and it seemed like Jess was at least more open to it than she had been the past several months, but Trish didn’t want to mess things up. She’d messed things up for them far too many times in the past.
“It must be strange for you, working with other people,” she said, trying to make conversation.
***
Quiet. Madison Valley might be quiet for now, but it never lasted. Much like Hell’s Kitchen, Madison Valley had a knack for being somewhat quiet and immediately turning into a chaotic mess. Like that Wild Wild West shit for instance. Jessica could do without that ever happening again. Who knew you come to appreciate indoor plumbing that much? In any regard, Jessica nodded. If anyone deserved a bit of quiet, it was Trish, especially after everything she’d been through back home, including almost dying. The whole technicality of it was that she’d almost lost her life trying to be like Jessica. Of course, Trish viewed it as being some sort of superhero garbage.
“Just so you know, you probably just jinxed the shit out of it by saying this town is quiet,” Jessica noted, taking another sip from her glass. At least Trish couldn’t get into any trouble here like trying to make herself into some “superhero”. As far as Jessica knew, no one could grant wishes like that or knew any crazy operations or DNA schematics to make it happen. Jessica might be pissed at Trish still, but she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. Contradictions.
“Limited contact,” Jessica replied bluntly. “I do them favors from time to time. Otherwise, I privatize. Maybe Alias will come here. I haven’t made up my mind yet. Not like you. You took no time in establishing your radio talk show.”
***
It was true; Trish had gotten her radio show back up and running as soon as she possibly could. Even though she had quit it back home; but then, that had been more the drugs than her. Sure, some of what she had said about feeling like it was useless and a waste to be talking about lifestyle things while there were real things happening in the world was true, but she knew that being a voice on the radio did give her power to be a voice for good. It was just a matter of making sure she could talk about what she wanted to talk about this time.
“Well, you know me, Jess,” she said. “I don’t feel good unless I’m doing something. I’ve never known how to relax.”
***
That was Trish in a nutshell: she always had to be doing something. She could never let anything go...ever. Jessica could be like that too, but it depended entirely on the situation and what was involved. More particularly, “who” was involved for the most part. Trish just saw an opportunity to possibly do good and took it. Jessica was a bit more careful than that...mostly. Trish was actually part of the reason she had ended digging into the mystery of her own abilities which led to finding out about her mother. Though she was glad for the time she had with the other woman, part of her wished she hadn’t found her at all. That she hadn’t gone looking.
“No you certainly don’t,” Jessica replied bluntly and downed the rest of her whiskey with practiced ease before reaching for the bottle and pouring herself another generous amount. “You always have to do something even if it isn’t the right something for the time.”
***
Trish tilted her head to the side and sighed. Jess couldn’t ever just say something; there had to be a barb hidden in there somewhere. “Well, I try to do the right thing when I can,” she said. “We all make mistakes.” She almost added something in there about how Jess should know that as well as anyone, but she remembered that she was the one trying to make peace right now and held her tongue.
***
The classic excuse for all bad behavior: “We all make mistakes.” Not that Jessica Jones was judging on that at all. God knows she’d made her share of mistakes too and she was aware of that. “Classic excuse,” Jessica replied sarcastically. “But everyone uses it. Even me.” She shrugged and took another sip from her glass of high shelf whiskey. “Mostly I just end up trying to do the ‘right thing’ and fuck it up along the way.”
***
“Don’t we all,” said Trish, with rather more of a sad than joking undertone. “But I think you end up doing the right thing more than you realize. SOmetimes the right thing just still doesn’t look all that pretty.” Trish was thinking about herself and what she had done when she said this, but also about what Jess had done. They’d both killed people who had done a lot of evil, who had needed killing. Not that Jess’s mother had been the same level of evil as Killgrave; but Trish still didn’t regret what she’d done. She just regretted what had come of it.
***
Jessica’s entire existence was built on nothing looking “all that pretty.” Killing Kilgrave had only been another layer to it. Despite how much she hated him, taking a life was never easy. Afterwards, people actually started asking her to kill people, as if she was just some assassin for hire. Obviously, Jessica refused them all. She wasn’t a killer unless she had no choice. Kilgrave had not given her a choice, but Trish had more of a choice than she let herself believe. Which was why Jessica found it very difficult to forgive Trish and why right now was just as difficult.
“It didn’t have to be you, Trish. You know that too. I know you justify it to yourself, but I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for something that you didn’t have to be the one to do,” Jessica replied quietly, downing the rest of her whiskey and pouring another without hesitation. “She was going to die anyway. Turning herself in sealed the deal. It didn’t have to be you…”
***
“Do you really want to go down this path?” Trish said, sighing. “Can’t we just have a nice Christmas drink together?” But Jessica had started the conversation, and Trish had been holding her tongue for a long time now.
“Jess, she’d kidnapped you. She was running away with you. The cops thought you were on her side. They were ready to shoot you right along with her, and as far as I knew she had you brainwashed enough that you were going to fight back alongside her. You say it didn’t have to be me, but maybe it did. What would you have done to whoever had done it if it hadn’t been me?”
***
“We never had a nice Christmas anything together, Trish,” Jessica retorted instantly. Everything was publicized because of who Trish had been at the time: Patsy. Besides, Jessica was sick of hiding from what had happened and letting Trish off easy by simply ignoring her.
“It wasn’t like that completely and you know it wasn’t. Things changed between us. She...She was going to turn herself in and she’d-she’d made peace with it. I tried to get her to change her mind, to keep running, but she stopped for me.” Jessica’s hand shook around the glass and she knew that she could easily shatter it at any moment. “Brainwashed? If brainwashing involved showing me that she was actually more than a killer than you actually have no fucking idea what brainwash means, Trish. Besides, I was brainwashed and it was nothing like that.” She took a sip of whiskey and then another, finishing the glass before she’d realized it.
“I almost did kill you, don’t you remember?” Jessica had almost lashed out at Trish that night and even now, it took a lot of effort to keep her from acting on such instinct again. Instead, she stood up and nodded toward the door. “Get out. Get out before I reconsider that night. Reconsider a lot of things.”
***
Trish got up and gathered her things, recognizing when it was time to leave. Still, before she went out the door, she couldn’t help but say one last thing.
“I hope you do reconsider, but not in the way you mean,” she said. “I miss you, Jess.” Then she walked out. She shouldn’t have lost her temper. Maybe next time she would have better luck.