John Murphy [The 100] (twistofbarbwire) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-08-23 11:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, ~2018 august, ~25 points, ~~~avery barkley (twistofbarbwire), ~~~~~ kate danvers (katedanvers) |
Who: Kate Danvers and Avery Barkley with Cadence
What: Chatting and Comforting
Where: The Pack House
When: Thursday evening
Warnings: Angst
Status: Closed/Complete
Avery stopped by the house to pick Cadence up after work. They were going over to Beth’s for dinner and a movie night. He hadn’t talked to her all day, but that wasn’t terribly unusual. He’d been working, she’d been working, and he’d confirmed with her the night before that they were still on for dinner.
He lifted Cadence out of her car seat and set her on the ground. She ran ahead of him, and he laughed and rolled his eyes at her. She was such a happy kid, and nearing three and a half, she was beautiful and smart and quick on her feet. He couldn’t have caught up with her if he’d tried.
He knew she knew exactly where she was going. By the time he reached the door, he expected Beth would have Cadence in her arms, showering her with kisses while Cadence squirmed to be put down. He was disappointed to see Cadence at the still-closed door, but he wasn’t immediately worried. Beth could be busy, in the bathroom, or something.
He knocked and got no response. “Daddy? Why not Bethie open door?” Cadence asked, peering up at him with an expression that reminded him of her mother. He shoved that thought away and pulled out his phone to call Beth’s number.
“I don’t know honey. I’ll call and find out. Maybe she’s not home yet.” Instead of ringing, he was greeted with the ‘this number is no longer in service’ message. She swallowed hard, because he knew what that meant. “I think Bethie’s stuck at work, baby. We’re going to go home and maybe see Rocco and Auntie Kate, okay?”
Avery slipped his phone back in his pocket and gestured back the way they’d come. He didn’t expect, but he hoped Cadence would go without a fuss. She didn’t. She stubbornly insisted on beating her tiny fists on the door, screaming Beth’s name. Avery sighed and picked her up, carried her kicking and screaming to the jeep.
She might not understand what was happening, but she’d been promised dinner at Beth’s and she wasn’t happy that wasn’t happening. Avery struggled to get her strapped in her seat. “I know you’re upset, honey. I am too. But we can’t help it if Beth isn’t home.”
“Want Bethie!” Cadence yelled, kicking her feet and landing a foot under Avery’s jaw. He didn’t chastise her for it, he didn’t blame her one bit. He just stepped back, shut the door, and climbed into the driver’s seat to head back to the house. He took a second to send Kate a text asking her if she was busy, and if she would meet him at the front when he got home. He didn’t tell her what was wrong, just that Cadence might need some Auntie Kate hugs.
***
The text message from Avery gave Kate a sense of dread. She knew that he’d been planning to have dinner and watch a movie with Beth and was expecting that he and Cadence would probably just spend the night at her house. It was only a matter of time until they moved in with her, she figured, and that was not going to be an easy time for her father.
However, it seemed like a lot of people were disappearing lately and she couldn’t help but think the worst, so she was nervously pacing in the driveway when Avery pulled in. She could hear Cady’s ranting before she even opened the door and went to unbuckle her and pick her up. “Hey, what’s all this?” she asked, her eyes meeting Avery’s over his daughter’s head, looking for confirmation of her worst suspicions.
***
Cadence had a lot of people in her life who cared a great deal for her. Avery probably would have asked Clay to take her if Kate hadn’t been around to comfort her. He knew he was too worked up to be able to calm her down.
“This is why, after Thea, I didn’t want to get close to anyone.” Avery ran a hand through his hair which was long and shaggy and in need of a trim. He sighed. “I knew you could calm her down, though. So, thanks for that.” Cadence had stopped yelling and was sucking her thumb while her other hand played with a lock of Kate’s hair.
“I talked to her last night. Never had a chance today. I never thought…” he shook his head. It didn’t matter what he thought or didn’t think. Beth was gone, like so many other people recently. There was no way to predict who the dome would send home, or who would come back.
***
Kate managed not to let loose the torrent of swear words that were on the tip of her tongue. “I’m sorry,” she said, shifting Cadence to her hip so she could offer Avery some comfort as well by touching his arm. She wasn’t sure if Cady actually understood what was going on, but that didn’t really matter.
“The past week has been out of control. Again.” This happened sometimes and it never made sense. Of course, there wasn’t much about being in Madison Valley that did make sense. “I’ll let everyone else know and you tell us what you need.”
***
“I can’t decide if I want Cady with me tonight, or if I want your dad to take her.” Because he knew without question that Clay would be happy to look after her. He loved Cadence like she was his own. And she loved him right back.
“I don’t know what I want, or what I need.” Avery sighed. He shook his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I want to scream. I want to kick something. But what good will it do? She might come back in a couple days, but…” He knew what ultimately happened to Beth back home. She’d told him what her sister and the other two from her world had said. They all had the same story. Beth had likely gone home to die.
He wasn’t sure if Kate knew that. He hadn’t told her, and he doubted Beth had. She probably didn’t. His breath hitched and he sighed again. “But you know what it’s like where she’s from.” And apparently it wasn’t even the zombies, walkers, whatever they called them, that got to her. But people. Just stupid people.
“And I have to prepare myself for the very real possibility that she isn’t coming back.”
***
“You can beat up on me,” Kate offered. It wasn’t like he’d be able to do much damage. She didn’t know what fate Beth faced at home, but she knew the frustration of losing someone you loved all too well. “It might make you feel better.” Even if it didn’t bring her back.
She knew that if he wanted a night to be stupid, Clay would be more than happy to look after Cadence. And if he wasn’t available for some reason, no doubt someone else in the Pack house would do it. “Or you can come out to the little house and get wasted.” She’d make Nick behave for a few hours.
***
The corners of Avery’s mouth twitched when she suggested he could beat up on her. “Beating up on you won’t help.” That wasn’t his style. Just because he felt like kicking something didn’t mean he would. It was a dangerous path to start on, he knew because he’d seen Deacon fall into the rabbit hole.
“Getting wasted sounds a lot more my speed.” He hadn’t drank much since Cadence was born. He’d been doing community service after getting drunk and stupid when he found out she was on the way. It seemed wrong, somehow, to drink when he was solely responsible for her care.
Tonight he didn’t care. He’d make sure she was looked after, and he’d let himself forget for a little while.
***
Whatever he wanted or needed, Kate would make sure that both he and Cadence were safe and well taken care of. She wasn’t going to try and remind him that Beth might come back. It almost didn’t matter if she did. It was the loss that was so devastating and she remembered it all too well from the times that Nick was sent away.
“We’ll figure it out,” she said.
***
Avery nodded. “I know.” He hated this feeling. He’d felt it too many times before. He still remembered when Juliette left. And while now he was grateful she wasn’t here to influence Cadence at all, he had been devastated to lose her. And Thea. Now Beth.
Kate was right, though. It didn’t matter if she came back. If she did, it wouldn’t be right away. And he would grieve in the meantime. “I was thinking about moving in with her. Maybe asking her to make things official, ask her to be Cady’s mom.” His voice cracked halfway through, but he forced himself to complete his thought.
He sighed. “I stopped worrying she was going to go away.”
***
Kate moved in to give him a half hug with her free arm since Cady was still snuggled up against her. “You can’t worry about that every day,” she said. “Otherwise you don’t enjoy the time you do have.” It was easier said than done, but it was something that she tried really hard to do herself. She wasn’t always successful.
“Why don’t we go find Grandpa Jeremy,” she suggested. “I bet he has a treat for you and Rocco.” He always did. And that would suitably distract Cadence for a little while.
***
Avery sighed and nodded. “That’s a good idea.” He put a hand out to catch Cadence’s hand as Kate started into the house with her. He didn’t feel like going inside. He felt like running away and never looking back. He wouldn’t, of course. But he could indulge in the fantasy of it for a few seconds.
As much as he wanted to keep Cadence close, he knew it was better for her if he didn’t. She was smart enough to know he was upset, but he was pretty sure she didn’t entirely understand why. He envied her, but the fact was even if he knew Beth was going to disappear today, he wouldn’t have done anything different. He would have liked the heads up before he took Cadence over to Beth’s place but other than that…
He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure he’d put himself through it again, maybe he was better off alone.
***
A few minutes later, Kate reappeared alone, carrying two bottles of beer. Despite the fact that alcohol didn’t really affect werewolves the way it did humans, they generally kept some in the house and no one cared that she was still a few months away from her 21st birthday.
“I gave Jer a heads up,” she said as she handed one to Avery. “He’ll keep her distracted for a little while.” It wasn’t much, but it would at least give Avery a little bit of time to work through his feelings on his own before trying to explain things to his daughter.
She went to sit on the porch swing, expecting that he’d join her. She’d also taken a moment to text Nick and Stiles while she was inside so they would know where she was and not to expect her back anytime soon.
***
He stood where he was with the beer in his hand for a moment. After taking a sip and looking around the yard, he moved to join her on the swing. He sighed as he settled, and took another sip.
“I still think this is the best place to raise my daughter.” Away from Nashville and all the baggage that was on the table in Music City for Avery. Away from Juliette’s influence. “But damn, right now it really sucks.”
He sighed and ran his other hand through his hair. “I loved her, Kate. I really did. I wanted to marry her and have a family.” He shook his head. “And now, now I just feel empty. I know there’s a chance she could come back, but I’m not counting on it.”
Too many people didn’t come back.
***
“I know,” Kate said. She hated this part of life in Madison Valley. It sucked having people you loved taken from you, especially when they were people you know you won’t ever see again. And even more especially when you know they are going home to something unpleasant. Which, Kate didn’t know the details of what Beth was going to be dealing with, but she knew about the walkers and that was bad on its own.
She shifted so she could put her arm around his shoulders to try and offer at least a modicum of comfort. “It sucks and it’s not fair.”
***
Avery leaned his head back, then brought it around to rest on her shoulder. He held his beer in one hand, his other hand picked at the label. “It’s not. But it’s almost a way of life in this damn town.”
He sighed, shifting and sitting up straighter. “So I’m going to take tonight to feel sorry for myself. And tomorrow I’ll tell Cady that Beth is gone, and I’ll...I don’t know. Figure out life without her.” Which wasn’t going to be easy. She’d been a steady presence in his and Cadence’s lives for a while now. It wasn’t fair that she was just gone.
“And if she comes back, great. But I’m not counting on it.” The dome seemed to be on a tear, and no one who’d gone missing recently had come back. Avery wasn’t foolish enough to expect that Beth would be the exception just because he loved her and wanted her back.
***
Kate listened and did not envy his situation. Trying to explain this to Cadence was going to be the hardest part of it all. “Well, you don’t have to do it alone,” she reminded him. “We’re all here to help you through it.”
It would be great if Beth did come back, but it was one of those things that she knew he shouldn’t pin his hopes on and wouldn’t encourage him to keep considering.
***
“I know.” Avery leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I’d be worthless if you weren’t.” But he had a strong support, a pack, to help him through it. He wasn’t a werewolf, but he lived with several. And he was every bit pack by this point.
“I mean, I know I’m worthless right now. But I’ll, I’ll be okay.” He brought his head back up and nodded. “I just hope no one else disappears. I don’t think I can take any more.” Liam was gone too. And while Avery hadn’t really known him all that well, he was someone who was there and now was gone. And that was hard to deal with, especially now that Beth was gone too.
***
The Pack would get through whatever else the dome decided to throw at them. They’d been through worse. “You can be worthless for a few days,” Kate said. “And then I’ll kick your ass back to usefulness.”
A certain amount of wallowing was allowed. But only a certain amount.
***
“Thanks.” He gave her a lopsided smile that didn’t in any way reach his eyes. But it was a start. He wasn’t completely broken. He’d be all right once he got over the shock of it, and once he to Cadence and made her understand that Beth was gone.
“I knew you’d give me some perspective,” he said with a sigh. “I really am glad you’re here, Kate. Please don’t leave.” He knew she couldn’t promise that, no one could. Because if they could, Beth wouldn’t have gone. No way she’d choose to go back to the hell that was waiting for her.
***
“If it’s up to me, I never will,” Kate promised. It was an empty promise since it wasn’t up to her, but she had been here for four and a half years straight without ever going home, so maybe that meant something.
She finished her beer and nudged his shoulder. “We should probably get some food before we drink you stupid,” she said. “Come on.”
***
“Yeah.” Avery sighed. He didn’t really want to move, he wasn’t hungry and the thought of eating made him feel nauseated, but he got up to his feet to follow Kate because he knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He needed to eat, and the food would help his hangover if he drank too much, which he completely intended to do. He sighed and looked down at the ground as Kate led him inside.