WHO: Gamora and OPEN WHAT: She's not okay WHEN: Wednesday WHERE: By the pool WARNINGS: Infinity War spoilers STATUS: Open/Ongoing
The shock of what had happened back home was a few weeks old now, but it hadn't really faded. Gamora still woke up, heart racing, from nightmares that she was trying to hide from Peter, and struggled with a deep guilt. No matter what she was told, she couldn't erase the thought from her mind that she should have been able to stop Thanos. She should have known. As much as she despised him, she was as close to him as anyone was, and that should have given her an advantage she could have used. But she failed in finding it, and she'd failed her team and she'd failed the entire universe. And that left a heavy guilt on her shoulders.
She was trying desperately to act like it wasn't ripping her apart, but the more she hid it, the worse it got. She threw herself into looking after Evie and Jay, into spending time with Peter, and into her training, but it was with an almost frantic energy and desire to escape the feelings that were inside her. Which, of course, she couldn't.
The world was falling apart, no matter how she tried to deny or escape it.
She'd gone for a long run this morning, after a nearly sleepless night. She was exhausted, but driven by a miserable, almost desperate energy. She felt like she had to keep running, to keep moving, or she'd lose it. And she had to be strong for Evie, for Jay, and for Peter, who was going through his own battles. She'd promised him that she'd tell him everything, and she would. Just...not yet. She couldn't.
Stopping at a light not far from the swimming pool, she watched a man lead his young daughter, dressed in a swimsuit, towards the entrance way. Almost immediately, she felt her eyes burning and before she could stop it, a single tear streamed down her cheek. A tear for what she'd lost, for what she'd never had, and for all of the dozens of ways she'd failed those she loved.