Evan Hansen (andhereswhy) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-01-04 11:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, ~2018 january, ~25 points, ~~evan hansen (andhereswhy), ~~ian gallagher (orange_boy), ~~~magnus chase (sonofnatalie) |
Who: Ian Gallagher, Magnus Chase, Evan Hansen
What: Lunchtime
Where: Madison Valley High School
When: First day back at school after the holiday break
Warnings: Evan's anxiety might be a warning, but otherwise probably not
Status: Closed
Evan hadn’t talked to anyone all morning long. He’d kept entirely to himself, sitting as unobtrusively as he could manage as far to the back of the room as he possibly could in each of his classes. Especially English, where he’d been when he’d been called to the office after Connor’s arrival just before the break.
If there was anything worse for him about sitting in class, it was going to the cafeteria. At least there was a limited number of people in a classroom, but the cafeteria was brimming with people. Most of them didn’t notice him, but it was still overwhelming for him to be in such a crowded place. He rarely ever actually managed to eat anything, but sat alone in the most isolated corner he could find.
Today was going to be different, though. Today he was going to sit with Ian and Magnus. The thought of it made his breath hitch and his palms sweat, but he was determined to go through with it. Ian seemed nice, and Evan didn’t want to disappoint him. That hardly meant he went to the table with his head high. Quite the opposite, he stared at the floor as he walked, making patterns of the splotches designed into the tile.
He felt light headed when he reached the table, and quickly sat. He wasn’t going to pass out, but he sure felt like he could be sick right then and there. He swallowed rapidly to try and push that feeling, that sensation down. He didn’t want to make a complete fool of himself. And so he took a deep breath to try and steady his nerves.
He lifted his head, finally looking up.He knew his eyes were bright and wide, like a deer in the headlights. His anxiety was in full swing, but he was determined to see this through. “H...h...hi.”
***
It felt weird to Ian to be back at school after so many weeks. They were going to let him make up semester finals, but if he had to take them right now he’d fail, so he was trying to get more time to study and make up work. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he was feeling a little more up to it now.
He was also happy to be back to seeing Magnus most days at school, and he was smiling and chatting with him when Evan approached their table. Ian knew from the network that Evan was really shy, but he was still a bit surprised by the stammering boy he saw in front of him. He looked terrified. All Ian could think to do was to try to be friendly to put him at ease and not call attention to it. “Hey man, it’s good to meet you.” Ian said warmly. He didn’t slap him on the back or offer a fist bump because that seemed like more than the other boy could handle. “Have a seat.” He indicated the chair opposite them. “This is Magnus, who I mentioned on the network.” He put his arm around the blonde boy seated next to him. “Magnus, this is Evan. He’s new here, so I invited him to sit with us, if that’s cool with you.”
***
Magnus wasn’t the kind of guy to get bent out of shape about, well, anything, really, so he didn’t mind at all if Evan sat with them. He seemed kind of ridiculously shy, but it was what it was. He wasn’t going to hold that against the guy.
“Magnus Chase,” he said, waving. “I’m dead. But it’s cool.”
***
Evan lifted his left arm and wiggled his fingers in something of a wave. He was glad Magnus hadn’t offered a hand for shaking. Evan didn’t like to touch people; more to the point he didn’t like to be touched. He wasn’t a germaphobe or anything, he just didn’t like touching.
He looked up, but avoided eye contact as he looked form Magnus to Ian and back to Magnus. “You’re...you’re dead?” His brow furrowed. Did that mean he was dead back home, where ever that was? He knew sometimes people who were dead in their regular home somehow came to Madison Valley. Connor was one of them.
***
“He’s only technically dead. He’s not a zombie or anything like that.” Ian thought he should clarify that so that they didn’t scare Evan off, but he’d let Magnus explain the details if he wanted to. Evan had looked a bit worried, although it was hard to tell if he was actually more worried than usual, or just the normal amount.
“Have a seat.” Ian said. “How’s the new school so far?”
***
“I’m an Einherjar,” he said, shrugging. “Means I died on earth and a Valkyrie took me to Valhalla because I died well or something.” That was more a thing for the warrior sorts, which Magnus wasn’t. He was a son of Frey, and everyone had kind of looked at him weird for turning up in their fight club.
“But like Ian says, I’m not a zombie or anything. I’m even warm.” Warmer than usual, actually.
“But yeah, what do you think of this place, anyway?”
***
What did Evan think of this place? That was a loaded question. In reference to Madison Valley itself, he thought it was an amazing place. It was a place of second chances, where Connor got to live, and maybe just maybe Evan would actually have a friend, a real friend. Where maybe his fantasy of friendship with Connor could become a reality.
The school was a whole different thing, though. Evan didn’t hate it. He actually liked learning. He wasn’t the best student ever, he struggled with math particularly. But he hated the atmosphere. The sheer number of people, the fact there was no way really to escape. He was constantly on the verge of a panic attack, his anxiety making him twitchy, so that he stood out even when he tried to fade into the background invisible and unseen.
“It’s...it’s okay,” he said softly. He focused his gaze on a bit of dried food on the table. It was easier to look at that than to look up at Ian or Magnus.
***