InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Aw, hamburgers!"

Maj. Susan Turner (majorturner) wrote in madisonvalley,
@ 2017-12-28 23:34:00

Entry tags:

!closed, !log, !trigger warning: self harm, ~2017 december, ~25 points, ~~connor murphy (todisappear), ~~evan hansen (andhereswhy), ~~susan turner (majorturner)

WHO Susan Turner & Connor Murphy
WHAT A not so good discussion
WHEN Dec 27 AM (the morning after this and shortly after this)
WHERE Their apartment
WARNINGS SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNINGS -- confrontation about the intent to self harm
STATUS Closed | Incomplete

Turner felt mildly reassured after speaking with Doctor Carson over the network. She had stayed with Evan on the couch in her room while he slept, glad that he had opened up to her but now worried about what to do with the information she'd gleaned. So she'd gotten up early and left Evan comfortably sleeping on the couch with a blanket covering him and set about flushing every single pill she had down the toilet. That had apparently been the right call, but she couldn't inconspicuously get rid of all the sharp objects. The last thing she wanted to do was spook Connor.

She started on some scrambled eggs for breakfast as soon as she heard him moving around in the boys' bedroom. He was probably going to be worried, waking up in the bedroom alone when he'd gone to bed with Evan there. Turner just hoped they could get through this particular conversation before her other ward woke up. She wasn't sure he'd be able to handle confronting Connor, not when he'd barely been able to get the words out last night.

"I've got breakfast going," she said, raising her voice just slightly to catch Connor's attention when she heard the bedroom door open. "And coffee." In part because she'd needed it herself. "Scrambled eggs, coming up."

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todisappear
2017-12-30 05:51 am UTC (link)

Connor blinked once... twice... He closed his eyes for a few moments before blinking them open again. He laid out on the air matress that Susan had gotten him while they decided what to do next. His long limbs were tangled up into the covers, his pillow hanging half off the bed. He took a deep, long breath in before letting it out slowly. He stretched his long limbs as he frowned to himself.

He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so well. He supposed he had Evan to thank, who had sang him to sleep the night before when he'd worked up the courage to ask. He'd smoked some pot but it wasn't helping as much as it usually did. Evan had been his last hope and had come through. He smiled as he thought about the other boy. Over the last few days, since the night... He didn't want to think about it, but the time spent with Evan, he had felt a definite change in their dynamic. If he didn't know that he had taken his own life back home, he could actually see how he and Evan could have been friends back home.

Evan hadn't been able to tell him everything. In fact, he hadn't actually confirmed that he'd taken his own life, but he didn't need to. Connor had seen the look in his blue eyes, so bright with fear and profound sadness. And Evan had looked at him with those eyes. He had never thought anyone would ever miss him. Here was this near stranger who professed that he would. Had professed that he couldn't take it if he took his own life. It still made no sense, but Connor was tired of trying to make sense of any of it. It was just easier to accept.

His thoughts of Evan had him glancing at the other's bed, expecting to find him asleep. He would never tell Evan this, but the last few mornings when he'd woken up first, he had watched Evan sleep. He looked so peaceful and still and content in those moments. He hoped that he was, he hoped that whatever he'd dreamed about, it brought him some peace and happiness. Evan deserved that.

Today, however, Evan was nowhere to be seen. Connor frowned, feeling a rush of panic. He knew it was stupid. Evan was probably in the bathroom or with Susan somewhere in the house. Even if they weren't there, they were probably together. But, Evan wouldn't leave him alone. He knew better than that. Not alone in the house at least. He'd already promised him of that.

Because even though he'd had a breakthrough that night, Connor had begged Evan not to tell Susan. He didn't want to burden her with this, at least that was the explanation he gave Evan. The truth was, he was certain as soon as she knew, she would want to kick him out. His parents back home couldn't easily do such a thing, though he was sure they had wished they could. But Susan, she wasn't his parent. She hadn't chosen this. She could send him to live with someone else, and Connor wouldn't blame her in the least. He didn't want that though. Not when Evan was here.

Not when he still felt it so deeply. Not when every moment he had time to think, his mind drifted to that. He knew now that life didn't have to be that bad. That maybe he could be okay. But they both knew it wasn't going to happen over night. Evan made him promise to tell him when he felt the desire to take his own life and Connor had stayed true to that promise. Just the night before, after he'd smoked twice what he'd normally smoked, he told Evan. He had then asked Evan to sing so he could sleep, and Evan had done just that.

He stood up, tugging up his pajama pants before picking up a tshirt and pulling it on. He planned to find Evan before doing anything else. A familiar sensation caught his attention and he sighed. He would pee first and then find Evan. Opening the door, he was surprised to hear Susan's voice call out to him. He made a face and headed for the bathroom when she mentioned coffee. And scrambled eggs. Okay, he could deal with breakfast. Especially if there was milk.

Connor used the bathroom, flushing the toilet and washing his hands before heading through the apartment for the kitchen. He forced a little half smile, awkwardly padding into the room. Clearing his throat, he forced the smile again.

"It ah, it smells good... do you... do you have milk?"

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majorturner
2017-12-31 04:03 pm UTC (link)

She heard sounds of the bathroom being used, so she figured that was answer enough for now and turned back to finishing up breakfast. Turner had just finished plating the scrambled eggs when Connor came into the kitchen.

"Thanks," she replied, already moving to the fridge to see what kind of milk options there were. "I've got 2% and almond milk," Turner replied, though she only took out the 2% milk and set it on the counter. Drinking almond milk probably wasn't something a teenage boy did anyway.

Discreetly, she looked him over. He didn't look frantic, like he'd been searching for pills she knew he wouldn't find. It was hard for her because mental illnesses weren't something visible usually, but there were thin scars on Connor's wrists that indicated self harm in the past. Turner was well aware that this conversation could go very poorly but she resolved to do everything she could to help both boys. Whatever their world was like to drive Connor to that extreme was something she wanted to help them recover from as quickly as possible. For Connor, that meant real, professional help and 24/7 supervision, which she couldn't provide. She didn't even know what she was looking for, though Dr Carson had said she was doing a decent job with what she'd done so far.

"How are you feeling? Oh, and if you're looking for Evan, he fell asleep in my room last night. Figured I'd let him sleep since he's been feeling out of sorts for the past couple of days." Since Connor arrived really, but that all made a good bit of sense.

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todisappear
2017-12-31 10:47 pm UTC (link)

Connor nodded and watched as she pulled out the 2%, thankful to her. He'd tried Almond milk before and while it wasn't bad, he definitely preferred the taste of regular milk. He made his way over to where she'd placed the milk, hesitating as he glanced around where the glasses could be kept. He noticed the table was set then, feeling a rush of gratitude toward Susan. Bringing the milk over to the table, he chose the place that was not at the head of the table, pulling the glass close to the edge.

Pouring the milk as he considered her questions, he nodded in understanding at her mention of Evan. He chewed on her lower lip. She hadn't said that it had been since he arrived that had Evan feeling out of sorts, but he knew that neither of them was naive enough to not realize that Connor had been the source of his distress. He didn't know why though.

Well, he understood a bit more from Christmas, at the very least. Evan still hadn't told him why Susan would think they were friends when it he had killed himself some time after the point of time in which he'd been at before arriving here. He didn't know how long after and Evan hadn't actually confirmed that he'd done it, but both of them knew it was no longer a secret, at least not between the two of them.

Connor had asked Evan to not tell Susan though. He didn't want to give her any more reason than she already had to find him another place to live. He also didn't want to burden her anymore than he had to. Something about this Susan's tone and her gentle manner had him wondering if maybe Evan had said something after all. He frowned, his body tensing.

He tried to remind himself that he didn't know that he had for sure, but it was no good. He was going to worry until it was clear whether or not he was right.

"I'm... I'm fine," he said, already knowing that she wasn't going to buy it. It just was so ironed into him as a response for any time his mom had asked, that it flowed out with ease. His gaze flickered to her and then back to the milk in the glass. He didn't offer more, instead bringing the glass to his lips and drinking deeply from it before pouring another full glass. "Is there... anything I can do to help?"

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majorturner
2018-01-01 01:07 am UTC (link)

Turner watched Connor from the corner of her eyes as she finished cooking up the scrambled eggs for them. It would only be another few minutes so Turner took the opportunity to study him a little less discreetly. She had a feeling he regularly said he was fine even when he wasn't but she wasn't buying it, especially now that she knew what she did courtesy of Evan. It was inevitable that Connor would discover that Evan was the one who told her, but she would do her best to make it worse.

"Nope, just grab a seat. Eggs'll be up in another two minutes," Turner replied reassuringly. "I know this isn't the easiest to adjust to and that we haven't had as much time just the two of us," she began casually as she turned back to the eggs. They were just about done so she grabbed their plates from the table. "Evan's told me a little bit about the world you two come from, but I'd like to get to know you a little bit better now that you're part of our makeshift family." It was an open ended, gentle nudge to share more about himself while also reminding him that they were in it together now because of what the dome had done to them. She wasn't going to turn him away, no matter what. Turner didn't give up.

She plated the eggs a moment later and brought them over to the table, taking the seat across from Connor because that was the seat she usually took anyway.

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todisappear
2018-01-03 09:40 am UTC (link)

Connor nodded when she told him to grab a seat. He pulled out the chair in front of him, lowering himself into it as he watched Susan closely. He knew that this was not just a normal get-to-know-you type talk. He had his own ideas about what it was about, but he could feel himself getting irritated at the idea of it.

Evan had promised. He had told him that they could take care of this themselves. But then he had gone and told Susan?

No, he couldn't blame Evan for this. Of course, Evan would tell her. Connor could not really be surprised at the fact that Evan had reached out to an adult. But that didn't mean he had to appreciate it either. He had never had a good experience with the adults in his own life. What on earth could possibly change that here?

His guardian explained that Evan had told her a bit about their world and that she wanted to get to know him better. He frowned. He could read between the lines. There was no way she didn't know. Connor had woken up to find the bedroom empty and Susan had explained he had fallen asleep in her room. He had told her last night then. It all made sense.

Susan would tell him off for scaring Evan. She would berate him for thinking his life was so hard. She would call him selfish, or worse, say that he was just seeking attention. She'd ship him off to the crazy ward and then try to find someone else to pawn him off on. She had the ability to do that, after all. His parents back home hadn't had that luxary. How sad for them.

Lifting his glass to his lips, he drank deeply as he told himself to calm down. He needed to get a grip or he was going to get out of control. He really didn't need that right now and Susan definitely didn't need that. She was going through all this trouble just to sit down and talk with him. She was cooking breakfast for him. She had agreed to take him in even though she already had Evan.

At the very least, she deserved that he hear her out.

It was almost no time at all when Susan served the eggs, setting a plate in front of him and in front of her own seat. She then sat, and Connor found himself feeling slightly awkward. Did they dig in? Did she want to talk first? He found himself hoping that she would let them eat first, so that he could at least enjoy this food that smelled amazing before he went off the deep end.

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majorturner
2018-01-05 01:26 am UTC (link)

She could tell that he was preoccupied with other things. No doubt he was concerned about what Evan had told her the previous night. Turner debated what to do and how to approach it, but she did still want to give him the opportunity to tell her about it himself. She understood why he wouldn't, why he'd want to keep it to himself, but she hoped to start make some headway in getting him to understand that she only had his best interests at heart.

Turner dug into her eggs for a moment, waiting to see what he might say in response to her question. She wasn't sure if he'd realized she had even asked something though. She didn't let it bother her and just gave him the time to take a few bites of his breakfast before she said anything else.

"What are things like for you in your world?" Turner asked. "School, friends, things you like to do in your free time, that kind of thing. I've gotten to know Evan a little, like the fact that he likes to climb trees." It dawned on her that maybe she should go first to make it easier for him. "I'm a Major in the US Army in my world, part of the Military Police. I tended to eat, sleep and breathe my job, so my hobbies tend toward reading history texts and biographies, following the news, that sort of thing."

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todisappear
2018-01-08 05:35 am UTC (link)

Connor watched as Susan dug into her food and decided to take that as a good sign that he could dig into his own. He ate a bite, then another, and was soon almost shoveling the food into his mouth. Well, not quite, because he was trying to be polite but there was hardly enough time to draw in a breath with how fast he took each bite. He was shocked to find he was so hungry. He supposed he shouldn't be, not so soon after everything had happened.

Susan started up a conversation. He could see what she was doing and while he appreciated it, it made him anxious and more than a little paranoid. Why was she asking all these questions? Was it to poke fun at the fact that he didn't have friends? That he didn't have a life? That while he was really smart, he didn't try too hard in school even though he could have easily been an A-B student if he'd applied himself. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered when he did it unless it was bad. That was the only time someone noticed. That was the only time someone cared. And then it was all they could do to jump down his throat, admonishing him and guilting him into submission. But he didn't submit. He acted out then and that was one more thing to throw in his face.

Connor blinked when Susan began to talk about herself. His eyes narrowed as he watched her, his fork with egg on it lifted halfway to his face. He'd never had an adult actually tell him anything about themselves. Not like this. They were far more likely to talk at him than to and with him. He felt the paranoia creep in and he stomped it down hard. He couldn't go there. He couldn't go there yet. If he did, there was no turning back and she would kick him out in a heartbeat. He had to be sure.

"You don't have to do this," he said, his words mumbled at first but he cleared his throat, letting his fork fall to his plate with a sharp ting-clack. He felt anger slip into his words as he continued.

"You don't have to play this good cop thing. Pretend to be my friend, right? Then get all the dirt out of me... learn that I didn't really have friends... not really... Evan's... Evan's the only one." He couldn't throw him under the bus, even if he was annoyed with him. "He's the only one but even he'll get tired of me but you, you just want to hear everything that happened back home so you can have some kind of excuse to kick me out, right? Right?!"

He didn't realize he was standing and that his voice had raised to well over indoor voice volume. His fists were clenched tight at his sides as he stared down at her. He would never hit her. He would never hit anyone. He'd pushed Evan that time but that had been one time in years since he'd acted out like that. He didn't even know why he'd done it. Suddenly there was the guilt. He swallowed hard, his heart rate slowing and he forced himself into his chair once more. He could feel the tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

There it was, the same thought that still plagued him day in and day out. It clung to him like mold, growing rappidly as time progressed. He knew the reason he was so paranoid toward Susan was because he knew that if she kicked him out, if he was sent anywhere else, he would not last a day. He needed Evan. Evan was the only thing keeping him alive right then.

"I'm s-sorry," he tried to say but the words didn't come out. He stared unseeingly into his plate of food, no longer hungry. His eyes lost what little shine they had left, going completely dull as he felt himself falling deeper and deeper into darkness. Everything she had asked him, and the way she had politely told him about herself, and the way she reached out to Evan. She was amazing. He was amazed that she didn't have any kids of her own because she was a natural at this. He was shocked. How could this woman who had no kids, and as far as Connor knew, no experience with kids, a better mother than his own.

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todisappear
2018-01-08 05:37 am UTC (link)

He couldn't do this to her. He had two choices. Tell her that he was going to take his own life no matter what because he didn't want to be a burden anymore. He didn't want to feel pain anymore. He didn't want to forever spin in the thick, black, smokey, choking desolation. He was ready to be free. He wanted to be free.

Or, he could do the one thing he had stopped doing so very long ago because the last time he had, he'd been admonished. Told that he was lying. Told that he was wrong. Told that he was seeking attention and was a burden to the family.

It was hard. He didn't trust people. He didn't trust adults.

Hell, he didn't trust himself.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't. He would find away to end it and be done... Susan Turner didn't ask for this. She didn't want it. She probably would think the same as his parents.

No, no he knew she wouldn't. But she would grow to resent him and Evan...

Well, let that lonely feeling wash away
Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay
‘Cause when you don’t feel strong enough to stand
You can reach, reach out your hand

Suddenly the void he'd lived in for so long was filled with the words that Evan had sung that night. He could hear them and they brought him back to the spot he'd fallen to after realizing he'd actually taken his own life. He could feel the wet, stinging cold at his cheeks until a beat later, he realized they were tears. They streamed down his face as his lips tightened and his hands clenched on his lap.

"I didn't have any friends... none at all... Evan wasn't my friend... I had... I'd been... I just wanted all of the feelings to go the fuck away, you know? Just... all the confusion and the anger and the guilt and just wanting to belong... I just wanted... peace and... well, he didn't say it but I just know somehow that back home... I... I..."

He bit out each word, as if part of him was selfishly holding it back. But he spit the dirty, filthy, infectious words out as well as he could.

He hadn't looked at her once since he'd yelled at her. Now he did, his eyes red and tears still slipping down his cheeks as his eyes fought to hold them in, afraid to let them go.

"And even though here I'm still, you know, here... I... I..." his face contorted as if he was feeling real physical pain which in a very real way, he was.

"I still want to..."

These weren't the words of a 17 year old boy who was so completely lost that there was no escape but death. Not anymore. These whispered, wavering, thick words were the plea of a little boy who just needed to be given a fighting chance. A little boy who needed for someone to love him for who he was and to want to help him truly, not fix him and as fast as possible or to completely invalidate his entire existance.

"Susan..."

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majorturner
2018-01-08 05:55 am UTC (link)

She hadn't been expecting him to yell at her, but it did give her some insight into what was going on in his mind. Turner set her fork down and glanced at the hallway, hoping that Evan was still asleep or at least had the sense to stay in her room while she and Connor had it out. She was prepared for him to continue to yell at her, to maybe throw his plate or something like that. What she wasn't prepared for was his apology and she softened considerably. He wasn't going to yell anymore she didn't think, so she gave him the time he needed to figure out what he wanted to say. If he wanted to say anything at all, that was.

All of her attention was on him so she noticed when he started to cry. Turner wanted to hug him but she was afraid if she moved just then, she'd spook him and he wouldn't say what she had a feeling he was trying to get out. She already knew that Evan wasn't really his friend, that he felt like the only escape was to take his own life, but it was heartbreaking to hear it from Connor himself. It wasn't until he said her name that she thought Screw it and got up from her side of the table. So far, her instincts had been right and she wasn't going to stop listening to them now.

She didn't say anything as she walked around the table, not until she had her arms wrapped tightly around him in a hug that she hoped would help the same way it had helped Evan. How both of her boys managed to go so long in life without being hugged enough was beyond her, but she'd spend every single day hugging them if that helped.

"I know," Turner told him. "I know. And we're going to get you the help that you need, okay?" She believed him, she heard him, and she damn well was going to help him because someone had to. Even though Evan and Connor had been dropped into her lap abruptly, Turner wasn't going to turn her back on them. They were just kids for crying out loud, kids that needed love and support and more help than she could provide herself. She knew when to ask for help though, and they were very lucky that the clinic was well staffed enough to do just that.

"I'm not going to kick you out, Connor. I'm not going to turn my back on you." It was a promise she would do everything in her power to keep.

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andhereswhy
2018-01-08 06:16 am UTC (link)

The commotion from the kitchen woke Evan. He sat up, bleary eyed and terribly confused for a few seconds before the memory of his conversation with Turner from the night before came back to him. He'd left Connor sleeping and had gone to Turner's door, had told her as best he could that Connor needed help. She'd hugged him, she'd held him in her arms and he'd sobbed until there was nothing left in him. And then apparently he'd fallen asleep in her room, and slept through the night, if the sunlight streaming in the window was any indication.

He heard Conner's voice, but couldn't quite make out the words. And then it went silent, at least to Evan's ears. he was far enough away from the kitchen that he couldn't hear Connor when he managed to keep talking. He'd heard the yelling, and then nothing. And that, he thought, couldn't possibly be good.

He knew Connor was a ticking time bomb, and the fact Evan had gone to Turner like he had could be seen as a betrayal. He'd told Connor, he'd promised, he wouldn't tell anyone anything. But he knew he had to. he had to tell Turner because Connor needed help and even though Evan didn't know the real Connor very well, he knew him well enough to be reasonably sure Connor wouldn't ask for help himself. It was on Evan to ask for it, as best he could. He was certain Turner had heard the things he couldn't say, and that she would get Connor the help he needed, and even if it cost him the possibility of friendship with Connor after all, it would all be worth it if Connor was able to live.

The apparent silence from the kitchen made Evan twitch. A lot of things made Evan twitch, but the silence he heard weighed heavy on his heart and soul. He couldn't sit in Turner's bedroom and wait to find out what was going on; he needed to go in there and find out for himself. He wasn't sure what he expected. He hadn't heard any dishes breaking, but that didn't mean Connor hadn't done something equally terrible, just more quiet. And that was the thought that ultimately propelled Evan off the couch, and toward the kitchen.

He got to the door just as Turner enveloped Connor in her arms, just as she told him she wasn't going to kick him out or turn her back on him. Evan heard the message, just as she'd promised him a few hours earlier. She heard. She heard, and she was listening and she was going to help, no matter what.

Evan felt like he was seeing a very private moment, a moment he had no business seeing. But at the same time, these were his people. This was Connor and Turner. He'd created a fantasy where Connor was the center of his universe, and he hadn't quite given that up, he hadn't been able to let it go, even faced with the stark reality of the real Connor who he didn't know, and who didn't even know him. What they had was real, and it wasn't all in Evan's mind. And then there was Turner who had these two fucked up, insecure, broken boys thrown in her lap. She could have turned her back, she could have cashed in the chips and sent them on their way. She probably should have, but even when she realised what a mess they were, she'd taken it all in stride.

Evan drew a breath, tears streaking his face, though he made no sound aside from the ragged wheeze of his breathing. He stood for a long moment at the door, and then against everything in him that was telling him to turn and go back to the bedroom and feign sleep for a while longer, he instead moved into the kitchen, toward the sobbing boy and the woman who barely knew him but held him in her arms as if he were the most precious and important thing in all the word, and he slid in to wrap his arms around them both.

"We're both right here," he said, the words low and raspy, but lacking his usual stammering. "We're right here and we're not going anywhere." His right arm was draped across Connor's back, and his hand moved to stroke the boy's hair. His left arm, awkward because of his cast, clung to Turner.

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todisappear
2018-01-09 05:45 am UTC (link)

The moment Susan's arms wrapped around him, the wall he had built up around himself—the very wall that Evan had slowly but surely begun to chip away at from the moment they'd met again—broke. He hadn't realized just how far Evan had gotten, just how close they'd become in such a short amount of time. He knew it had to do with the fact that they were pretty similar when you stripped down the few things that made them different. And because Connor wanted to be there for Evan. From the very first night, he had wanted to help him in any way he could. It seemed as if Evan had wanted the same.

He was sobbing now, reaching up to cling to Susan as his eyes closed and he just cried. He could hear her words and he clung to the promise of them. The assurance that whatever fears he had, they were wrong. She wouldn't kick him out. She wasn't going to turn her back on him. She would get him help. He would get help. She was listening to what he needed and she was going to provide. He could only hold onto her tighter as his body was wracked with sobs.

Evan's sudden presense, the feel of his embrace, the fact that he had pushed past whatever fears and nerves he'd had to in order to come out here after Connor had blown up the way he had. Evan wasn't afraid of him and he too was promising that they were there and weren't going anywhere.

He gritted his teeth as he just gave into the release. It felt as if the thick darkness was being tugged out of him in long dark black strings, disappearing the moment they were free because they were losing their control on him.

He didn't know how long they all sat there, holding one another but there came a point when he had no more tears to cry. He sniffed in, clearing his throat as he pulled back to signal that he needed space.

Once it had been given in some capacity, he forced a weak smile that fell away almost immediately. He was trying to show them his appreciation but no one would expect him to be sunshines and rainbows all of a sudden. It didn't work that way. His path would be a long, hard, rigorous road. It would be filled with storms and earthquakes and flashfloods but he had something he hadn't had back home. He had lifeboats in the forms of Susan and Evan. And for the first time in his life, he felt something he could never remember feeling.

Hope.

He could see the rainbow in the horizon and he knew he could do this, with their help, he could get a hold of this and get better.

"Thank you," he said finally. It was all he could think to say but it felt like the right thing. He didn't know what was to come but he knew that whatever it was, he wouldn't face it alone.

This time, he wouldn't give up. He wouldn't stop. He'd keep moving down that path until the sun shined through the clouds.

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majorturner
2018-01-12 02:14 am UTC (link)

Turner knew when Evan was there, but she didn't take her attention away from Connor as he started to cry. Balancing the needs of both boys was going to be difficult but she would find a way to make it work. She couldn't abandon either young man and she had no intention of it. It was just the next challenge for her to overcome. She held onto Connor tightly and shifted to bring Evan into that embrace once he joined them. Turner would hold both of them until Connor needed some space.

Sure enough, he sniffled after a while and eventually pulled back, so she let go of him and Evan at the same time. She just made sure to stay in arm's reach just in case either of them needed her again. This wasn't an easy thing to talk about or deal with, but Turner would be strong for both of them throughout all of this. It was just the beginning of their journey together but she was confident that they would be able to come out the other side stronger. The clinic staff were clearly a resource for her and she really believed that Connor getting more professional, dedicated help would be good for all of them.

"It's going to be a lot of hard work," Turner replied. "But we'll be here every step of the way for you." She'd be there for both of them, but it would be in different ways. She wasn't sure if they should finish breakfast first before going to the clinic, so she'd leave it up to the boys. For whatever reason, the dome had made them a family and she was going to make sure they understood that she was all in on this.

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andhereswhy
2018-01-12 02:56 am UTC (link)

Evan hadn't eaten anything at all, but he didn't eat breakfast very often. His meds affected his appetite, and even without the meds he didn't eat much. His stomach didn't handle food first thing very well; he was better off to wait until later in the day after he'd been up and moving around for a while. Breakfast, and the task of eating, were the furthest thing from his mind.

He was entirely focused on Connor, and to an extent Turner. But Connor was forefront, and as Connor drew a breath and Turner stepped back, Evan reached for Connor's hand. Taking it in his own, he squeezed and held tight just as he had the other night, at the Christmas Eve party. His grip had a language of its own, telling Connor he wasn't going to let go.

"Every step," he said, echoing what Turner had said. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words failed him. So he just held Connor's hand and looked to Turner for a brief moment before shifting his gaze back to Connor. They were in this together. It wasn't Evan alone, trying to help Connor, it wasn't Connor alone fighting his demons. Turner, who had no real obligation to help them was there, and she was going to help them both.

Evan worked his hand around until he could interlace their fingers, and then he held out his other hand to Turner. Evan had initially questioned why he had been placed with her, why she had been saddled with him, but he knew why. He knew it was because she was some kind of Guardian Angel, and she sent to help two lost and scared boys find their way.

[OOC: Wrap!]

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