Who: Dean Winchester and Sara Lance What: Saying goodbyes without saying them When: Monday night Where: Their house Warnings: none Status: Closed/Complete
Dean didn’t need to look at the pale tattoos around the Mark on his forearm to know what was happening to him. He could feel it. The rage, the bloodlust, that had been kept under wraps for so long, letting him live something like a normal life for a few months, gave him a little longer before he was forced to give in, was going to break free any time, and he was going to have to deal with that.
In the last days before he lost himself, he had to make sure the people he cared the most about knew that he did, that he loved them all, that everything that was coming didn’t negate that. That he was okay letting go. It was time. A hunter’s life wasn’t supposed to be long.
He’d made a few other stops, said his goodbyes in his own way, before getting to Sara.
“Hey.” He found her in the living room, dropped down beside her on the couch and tossed a packet of papers into her lap, followed by a pen. “Sign these.” When he inevitably had to die, he wasn’t going to take her home away from her doing it. The papers were to legally add her as an owner. He’d have just transferred ownership if that wasn’t too obvious, if he hadn’t figured she could just change it again later.
***
Things still felt a little off from her whole encounter with Methos, but Sara was doing her damnedest to pretend that she was back to normal. She didn’t want her friends to worry about her and thanks to her training in the League, she could hide her true feelings pretty well. It might not be the healthiest coping mechanism ever, but it worked for her.
She blinked in confusion when Dean sat down next to her and gave her some official looking papers. Rather than blindly sign, she took a minute to scan the document. “Why are you adding me as an owner of the house?” she asked.
It wasn’t a bad thing, but it seemed kind of out of the blue.
***
“You live here, don’t you?” he shrugged, and put his feet up on the coffee table, draped his arm behind her. He didn’t look at her, didn’t think he could. For as tough and unshakable as Dean liked to pretend he was, he had a soft heart, hurt a lot more than he liked to admit to. If he looked at her, he probably wouldn’t be able to keep sounding casual about this.
It needed to sound casual. He didn’t want her final memories of him to be tarnished by him making things weird. They’d always known this was coming for him.
If Dean was going to be remembered, he was going to be remembered his way.
***
Sara glanced over at him, but shrugged and leaned forward to sign the papers. He’d been acting kind of strange ever since she got home from being held captive and she mostly chalked it up to him having some sort of misplaced feelings of guilt for not being able to rescue her.
When she was done, she leaned back and put her feet up beside his. “Thanks,” she said. “I still appreciate you letting me move in.” It was hard to believe it was closing in on a year since she did. What was supposed to be temporary while she got herself together ended up being a permanent thing that worked out pretty well for both of them.
“You wanna watch a movie or something?”
***
She wasn’t completely wrong about his guilt. He did feel guilty, always did when he couldn’t be the hero. Saving people was the only thing he was any good at, and his track record with that wasn’t even that great. Worse when it came to people he cared about.
Brushing off her thanks with a half shrug, it had been a nice thing to do at the time, giving a friend a hand and paying back a debt, but it had wound up being one of the best decisions he’d ever made. It was too bad he was going to have to leave her after all of it.
“Depends. You going to pick something good this time?”
***
“Well, I was thinking about that new Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson rom-com where they start off as enemies and end up falling in love,” Sara said. “How’s that sound?”
She couldn’t even keep a straight face as she asked. “Or, you know, I haven’t seen that new Star Wars flick yet.” And she wasn’t sure if he had or not.
Moving in with Dean was definitely one of her better decisions, despite being born out of one of her worst. Breaking up with Eliot was a mistake and one she did still regret. But he was gone and there was no point in dwelling over what couldn’t be.
***
“You disgust me.” Chick flicks or Star Wars were her options? She was lucky that Dean just wanted to spend some time with her while he still could. “No chick flicks.”
So that was the decision. Score one for nerds everywhere.
“I need a beer. You want a beer?” Hiding from any threat of facing feelings in a drink was kind of his MO.
***
The chick flick thing was totally a joke, but Sara kind of dug Star Wars. Especially after her time travel adventures. “Beer sounds good,” she said. “Want me to make popcorn? Or order a pizza?”
Or both. They could definitely do both. Sara didn’t really see anything unusual about Dean wanting to hang out. It had been a while since they did, but it wasn’t completely unheard of for them to watch a movie or have a drink together.
***
“Are we having a sit in date or something?” he teased, hoping it sounded lighter than it felt. Just hanging out and making an evening of everything seemed like the best way to leave her with some good memories of him. Dean had gotten what he wanted out of her with the signature, now all that was left was to make sure he remembered him well.
If he got that much out of spending time with her, he could die happily.
***
Sara laughed. “You wish you could have a date with me, Dean Winchester,” she teased. “But we both know that you couldn’t handle this.” There was no doubt they would have amazing sex if they ever went there, but it would also potentially ruin their friendship and that was way too important to her.
“Extra large with everything on it?” she asked.
***
Dean just snorted. Sara was the one chick in his life he hadn’t considered something with. The one he didn’t see that way at all. Whatever they could or couldn’t have didn’t matter because it never crossed his mind, and he couldn’t date anyone properly anyway.
He wasn’t good for dating. He was a mess, and carried too much with him. Especially now.
“Sure. And get some of those cheesy stick things,” he said, getting up and heading into the kitchen for a couple of beers while she took care of that.
***
“I’ll order from the place where Barry works,” she said. “That way we’ll get our food fast.”
And it was nice because they had online ordering, so all Sara had to do was grab her phone, tap the screen a few times, and the food was being prepared. While she waited for Dean to come back from the kitchen, she picked up the remote control to find the movie they were going to watch.
***
Getting beer was a lot faster than getting pizza, no matter how fast the place was, so Dean was dropping back onto the couch in a moment, holding a bottle out to her.
“I’m really glad things worked out the way they did here,” he said, a rarely displayed moment of sentimentality. The way they’d met was so weird, him filled with rage and regret, covered in the blood of someone he loved, and she’d been nice. She’d gotten him cleaned up and had been his friend. He didn’t deserve that much.
***
It wasn’t every day that Sara found battered men in alleys and took them home though it had happened more than once in this town. “You getting sappy on me, Winchester?” she joked as she took the bottle from him. “You’re not going to propose, I hope.” Sam’s was more than enough and she was glad they’d put that behind them.
“I mean, you did literally save me from hell, so I guess that’s something,” she added. And he’d given her a place to run when she needed to get away from everything.
***
Crunching up his nose, Dean just elbowed her gently. “Shut up. I’m just trying to say I’m…. It’s been nice having you around. Turn your stupid movie on. Nerd.”
Sometimes, even if he didn’t like it, even if he didn’t want people to say crap back to him, he had to tell them how much they meant to him. That they were important. They had to know that, especially now.
***
“It’s nice having you around too,” Sara said, leaning over and kissing his cheek before picking up the remote to start the movie. “Especially since you can go open the door when Barry gets here with our food.”
***
“Oh I can, huh?” Normally he’d have protested more. Pizza was her idea, the delivery kid was her friend, or whatever, someone she called by name, a hundred reasons. But Dean was being nice. He was leaving his impression. He was holding his tongue.
***
Sara grinned. “It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, Dean.” Which was funny since he really didn’t fit under anyone definition of gentleman, nor would she qualify as a lady in anyone’s mind. “Now shut up and watch the movie.”