WHO: Harley Quinn, Birkhoff, and their kiddo WHEN: Saturday night, 15th WHERE: Birkhoff’s place WHAT: The two put the kid to bed and talk about being ~exclusive~ WARNINGS: Mentions of sex. STATUS: gdoc, complete
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Harley lay sideways on the couch. On one side of her was Birkhoff, and she was half in his lap. On the other side, laying on her legs, asleep, was Roxy. They just finished watching the original Ghostbusters, which Harley bought especially for the occasion.
She was in heaven.
Harley took Roxy shopping the other day, for a few changes of clothes (never once saying ‘it’s just for the week’) and a blanket. The blanket had a cartoon raccoon on it, and Harley was sure she’d keep it once Roxy was gone.
She turned to Birkhoff, “You can keep the movie. It’s late though, I should go home…” She was baiting him, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be there when Roxy woke up. She wanted to sleep next to Seymour. Harley had been staying with him the past few days, but every night it was the same. I should go home. It was a mindgame, but Harley liked those.
---
Birkhoff was really not okay with the whole idea of Roxy only being with them for a week. The more time he spent with her, and with Harley too, the more he wanted this to be their little family. He knew Roxy wouldn't ever be this age forever, nor was it all happy rainbows and sunshine and kisses, but she'd ingratiated herself into their lives so easily that he was worried about what would happen when she wasn't there anymore.
"You should stay," he replied before he yawned. Definitely time for bed. "But we can't sleep on the couch." He definitely couldn't, not unless he wanted his neck and back to hurt something fierce tomorrow and he really did not want that at all. In any way. The past couple of nights, she'd said the same thing, but he didn't want her to go. He hadn't wanted her to go any of the past couple nights but he hadn't said anything about it until now.
Roxy'd been sleeping in a pretty sweet blanket fort that had been set up in one corner of his living room, where just about all the pillows and blankets - plus more than a few they'd bought her - currently resided, making a nest for herself. But he could move her easily enough and then he and Harley could crawl into bed and- No.They definitely couldn't have sex even though he kinda wanted to.
***
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” she replied immediately. She sat up a little so that Birkhoff could move, “Go put her in her fort.” She didn’t mind being bossy. Harley was the good cop and Birkhoff was the bad cop. But Roxy saw them both as fantastic, so it didn’t matter.
Harley yawned too, since it was contagious. “What did you do before this? Before you showed up here?” Before he could respond, she launched into her own story. “I was a psych. Then I fell in love with my patient, who was a very bad man. Then I became a criminal, then an unwilling participant in a Black Ops mission, and then hero of the world!” She put her hands up in the air. “I’m glossing over the details, obviously.” She let her hands drop back down into her lap with a small slap sound.
Before Birkhoff could take Roxy, Harley planted a kiss on her head. “Roxy doesn’t come into your room when we’re in there together… we could sleep ne-kkid,” she sing-songed. Then she blurted out, “I slept with Merlin. Recently.”
That was a lot of information to take in.
---
"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a roll of his eyes, though it was definitely playful. Birkhoff loved the kid already. He took the opportunity to stretch for a moment - such a crick in his neck yikes - and Harley asked a question, only to answer it for herself. And it did sort of answer a lot. Birkhoff was officially messing around with a comic book character. He'd held out some small hope that everything up until now had just been a weird coincidence, but no. He was sleeping with Harley Quinn. The Harley Quinn.
Knowing what he knew about her, that wasn't going to be something he shared, either. So he didn't say anything as he picked Roxy up, pausing so Harley could say goodnight too. Birkhoff had started to turn to take the girl to her fort when Harley admitted to sleeping with another guy. They really needed to decide if they were going to be exclusive or not. Birkhoff just sighed. "Go on, I'll be there in a minute," he replied, not really sure what else to think. He needed to get Roxy situated in her fort though, so that was what he was going to do.
"Night daddy," Roxy mumbled, just barely hovering in that slightly awake state as he got her settled. "Love you."
"Love you too, munchkin." Birkhoff placed his own kiss on her forehead before heading into his room and shutting the door behind him. Time for the much harder conversation.
"I'm a hacker. I'm one of the best there is, at least in my world," he started with as he pulled off his shirt. "I got recruited into a black ops program called Division. I ran the tech. It....did some good, and some bad. And I'm not currently sleeping with anyone else, but I do have another kid that showed up. I'm her dad and Alex from my world is her mom."
***
Harley watched for a moment as Birkhoff carried Roxy away, but then he told her to go on. She uncurled from her position on the couch and went off to Birkhoff’s bedroom. Harley laid on the bed, burrowing under the covers, and gnawed at her lip. She thought about what he said-- he did some bad, it did some good. They had something in common. She did more bad than good, though. And he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else? She felt a pang of guilt, accompanied by jealousy when he said he had another kid.
She thought this was special… she slept with Merlin before Roxy showed up.
He came into the room and took off his shirt, Harley applauded. “Whoo! Take it all off!” She said in a hiss, as not to wake up Roxy.
“I’m not sleeping with anyone else, it was just a thing that Merlin and I do sometimes, and he was a woman for most of it, if that makes you feel any better.” Some guys were blinded by lesbian actions and looked past it. They were easy. She looked at her fingernails and tried to be casual.
“Do you want me to NOT sleep with anyone else? You just have to ask.”
---
Birkhoff smiled a little at her encouragement to get undressed and did a little shimmy as he stepped out of his pants. "I don't think it makes a difference if he was a dude or a lady, but-" He shrugged. "It's not like we ever talked about it." He climbed into bed still clad in his boxers.
"Is it a dealbreaker if I say I don't want you to sleep with anyone else?" That was what he was most afraid of because a woman like Harley was in danger of getting bored and there were only so many positions they could play with. If she needed to have other partners then he'd figure out a way to deal. Maybe it could be one of those out of sight out of mind type things?
***
“Good for you,” She gave a golf clap to him. “Not caring if it’s a dude or a lady. That’s very equal rights of you.” He climbed into bed and she curled up beside him, still in her tank top and shorts. She said they could sleep naked, but he’d have to undress her for that to happen. Plus, Roxy might wake up. She wasn’t sure of it now.
“Dealbreaker? No. You just hafta say so!” She reached up and gently pulled the elastics out of her pigtails to put them on the nightstand. “I don’t mind bein’ a one man lady. Or one person lady, as it were.” She booped him on the nose. “So we’re goin’ steady now or are you just all worked up because of the kid?”
---
"What? I'm not swinging for both teams but it's a thing people do. Sex is still sex and all that." Birkhoff was content to wrap one arm around her when she cuddled up next to him. As much as he did kind of want to indulge since they hadn't in a few days, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea.
"It might be because of Roxy, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be the only person you're knocking boots with," Birkhoff replied, a little uncomfortable with all of this emotion talk and stuff. Still, he was kind of into the idea of being it for her and maybe if it wasn't a dealbreaker they could give it a shot.
"So, what do you say? Wanna be my girlfriend?"
***
Harley was a horndog, but she still had some decency considering there was a kid several feet away from them. Still, she put her hand on his stomach, palm flat, and gently caressed. She’d consider dipping her hand further down if he got cute with her.
...And then he got cute with her. She grinned madly and reached down to honk his junk. Because Harley was a perv like that. She even went “Honk!”
“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend, ya big nerd.” Harley moved her hand back to his stomach and gave him a little tickle. “You gotta get a job, though, I’m used to expensive things. And also if you dump me, I’ll decapitate you.” She then giggled, letting him decide if she was joking or not.
---
Birkhoff had been totally fine with the wandering hand until she honked him and made him spazz. "Jeeze, Harley!" He wasn't actually mad but he did take her wandering hand in his to stop her from doing it again. "I am the definition of nerd," he agreed, even though she was calling him a nerd because he was talking about his feelings and all.
"I will. Just. After Roxy, okay?" He didn't want to waste any time they had together, but after she got sent back to her time he'd find a job. Birkhoff also was pretty sure decapitation was actually on the table for her as a suitable reaction to a breakup, but he found he didn't mind the threat all that much. He didn't want to break up with her now and if it came to that, he'd figure it out.
"Now, think you can be quiet?" Birkhoff asked, because if they were now officially dating, they should probably mark the occasion in some way. Sex was a great way as far as he was concerned and if they could be quiet and relatively quick about it, Roxy would be none the wiser.
***
“Totally. I’ve been taking days off of work myself.” She wrested her hand back from him and let it begin to wander again. “I can be quiet, can you?” Harley used her free hand to press a finger to Birkhoff’s lips as she began to do lewd things to him. Roxy was out cold, they were in the clear.