Draco Lucius Malfoy (d_l_malfoy) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2016-12-24 07:06:00 |
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Giving up the casual use of his magic was making things very hard on Draco. Kisses from Sydney made it better, but some days, the sheer frustration of not taking the easy way out made him short tempered. But he had promised and Draco did not compromise a promise - not when his honor was on the line. Hence it was rare for him to promise anything to anyone. In fact, when he truly thought about it and was close to honest with himself, Draco knew he’d only ever promised his mother to do what was needed to free his father. And even that promise had taken a toll on him. The use of magic though, was neither here nor there at the moment. Instead, he was at work. It was a nice distraction since he rarely used magic at the bookstore lest it frighten off muggles whose money he needed as per gainful employment. But it did have its uses. Such as retrieving the book on the top shelf that he needed. He was tall, but there were limits to his ability to reach the back of a high shelf. Draco had no idea now these things got there. He’d finished a muggle book recently which had described book stores as gentile black holes that knew how to read. It was a description he could get behind. But he needed the book. Hence being balanced on a ladder against a wobbling bookshelf attempting to reach it. The ladder and shelf wobbled in concert as he strained to get the book, muttering about not being able to use the best method under his breath. *** That was, of course, when Pansy Parkinson walked in. She'd come looking for him to tell him about her father’s ghost and all the mixed feelings it dredged up - but upon seeing him wobbling dangerously on a ladder, she simply stopped and stared in incomprehension. “What in Salazar’s name are you doing?” she asked. “Is this some Muggle tradition you've decided to embrace?” *** Well shit. Wasn’t that just the worst of the luck. He wasn’t doing things the way he was supposed to - magically - and he gets caught by Pansy. Shit on a stick. It would not be a pleasant explanation because he knew she wouldn’t go without one. A final lunge and he grabbed the book before scurrying down the ladder. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Draco drawled out, dusting off the book. “Did you need help with something?” He could only hope his rudeness pushed her away quickly so he would be able to resist giving an explanation. *** “Oh, I see we’re back to that,” Pansy said, rolling her eyes at his attitude. Obviously she’d been too optimistic in thinking she could talk to him about something as personal as her father. “I came by to see how you were,” she informed him. “But apparently you’ve lost your magic, so I suppose I have my answer now.” She said it half in jest, but she half-meant it as well. She couldn’t imagine why Draco would put himself in such danger trying to get a book when a simple spell would levitate it right to him, unless he had indeed lost his magic somehow. In this place, who was to say he hadn’t? *** The words, even in jest, made Draco blanch. While he was normally rather pale, that she had figured out somehow what he had done turned him whiter than normal. Attempting to cover up his pure fear that she would find out anything more, Draco took the book he had collected over to the counter and leaned against it. “I had not expected you to come and inquire about such things,” Draco said, attempting to sound as normal as possible. How, in the name of Merlin, had he lost his ability to play it cool? Had Sydney somehow conned from him his suaveness as well? He briefly remembered how teaching him to wash dishes had allowed him to ‘accidentally’ splash her so that it had become more of a wet t-shirt contest than a dish washing lesson so he supposed not. That memory created a splotch of color on his cheeks. “But I thank you for asking,” he continued, taking a cloth and cleaning off the book. “How are you and the men of your life?” A single eyebrow raised as he looked at her, hoping she’d stay distracted by the topic of herself instead of his lack of magic use. *** “Terrible,” Pansy said bluntly. And unfortunately for Draco, she had no desire to discuss Neal with him - not when she was still hurting over his departure. Which meant she was free to harp more on his shocking use of muggle means to do his job. “And don’t change the subject. Whyever didn’t you just levitate the book down?” Her eyes widened in shocked realization. “You didn’t really lose your magic, did you?” Because if he did, who was to say she wouldn’t be next? *** Shit. Shit. Shit. Draco swore mentally. He should have known that he could hide nothing from Pansy. She knew him far too well for him to hide jack all any more. Salazaar take it. “I didn’t lose my magic,” Draco retorted, defensive as he always was when Pansy got the better of him. His defensiveness always made her pounce with delight on his errors which one would have thought he’d realised by now. “I was merely attempting not to shock the muggles by using it in public locations. You know how the locals get.” Attempting to distract her again, Draco returned to the topic he preferred. “What do you mean terrible? What happened now?” he asked, hoping she’d prefer to rant about men being arrogant assholes than his lack of magic use. Ha. Like it would actually work. *** It definitely didn't. Because while Pansy liked to talk about herself, she didn't like to talk about anything that would actually make her seem vulnerable. And being put “on break” by a Muggle? It went right past vulnerable and into humiliating. “I don't see any locals hanging about,” she remarked, looking around exaggeratedly. “Surprising, really. Who wouldn't be stampeding through the doors to get themselves a copy of…” She picked up the nearest book. “An illustrated encyclopedia of anal diseases?” She wrinkled her nose, then suddenly whirled around and threw it at him. “Catch.” *** If she was expecting him to pull out his wand and use magic to catch the book, Pansy was going to be disappointed. In an effort to break himself of the habit of reaching for his wand and therefore magic, Draco had left the wand at home. It had taken two tries to leave his flat without it, but he had managed to do it. Mostly because he had told himself how pleased Sydney would be with his behavior. And he liked thinking of her with her face pinked with pleasure and smiling shyly. Which is precisely why the book smacked him in the chest despite his attempt to catch it. It thumped to the floor as Draco grimaced. Shit shit shit. She wasn’t distracted, she was attempting to get him to use his magic. He was really in deep trouble now. Pansy smelled a weakness and she was pouncing. Salazaar. Bending down, he picked up the book and settled it on the counter. “What was the purpose of that Pansy? Temper getting the best of you?” he sniped at her, on the defensive now, but hoping to swing the torment around to her. Peering at her, he poked her again, “Not getting laid on a regular basis are you? I feel bad for you, but there’s no need to throw things at me.” Draco followed his arms across his chest, defensive. *** Pansy snorted inelegantly. Now that she wasn’t so obsessed over him, she wasn’t so concerned about putting up a classy front for him. Once, she’d wanted to be just as cool and remotely elegant as his mother. Now, she couldn’t be fussed about what anyone thought of her, least of all her ex. “Just because you’re taking forever to get anywhere with your little magical bigot doesn’t mean everyone is facing the same frustration as you are,” she said, taking out her wand to levitate the book back to her. She dropped it unceremoniously back where she’d found it. It wasn’t that she wanted it; she just wanted to rub in the fact that she was using magic and he wasn’t. Which brought her back to her original question. “Now really: why aren’t you using magic? You didn’t somehow lose it in the ghost madness, did you?” *** If he had his wand, Draco would have simply hexed her and removed her from his shop. Perhaps not the best choice for dealing with adversity, but it would have it been far more satisfying than arguing with her. Leaning against the counter, arms still folded protectively across his chest, Draco addressed the question he could answer positively. “First of all, if you’d like to keep your tongue in your head, you won’t call her that. Secondly, we’re actually getting quite far,” Draco retorted, a smirk curving up his lips. “In fact, what were the terms of our bet again? Because I am certain I have won.” Draco wasn’t actually clear on the terms of their bet any longer. He’d forgotten all about it when it had become clear that he wasn’t in it to win the bet, he actually wanted Sydney for herself and no other reason. “And my magic or lack there of, is none of your business.” *** Pansy made a point of looking around. “Really? Where’s the proof? I hardly see her floating around with a newly-seduced glow.” It was interesting, though, that he’d come to her defense so quickly. Had he become so caught up in the game he’d started to believe it? “Without her corroborating your claim, it’s difficult to prove, isn’t it?” She picked up the book with her wand again and set it spinning on its tip. “Your lack of magic is very much my business, Draco. If you’ve gone and lost yours, who’s to say mine’s safe? If I need to take protective measures, I shall.” *** He definitely need to hex her. A hand reached up and ran through his blond hair, tousling the strands into a mess. How could he verify without forcing Sydney into doing something into that made her uncomfortable? He’d come so far that he wasn’t willing to sacrifice that to win a fucking bet with Pansy Parkinson. Shit shit shit. “She’s not that kind of person - she’ll corroborate in time,” Draco finally stated. He knew that time would tell what Sydney would agree to do in public. As of right now, he was satisfied and she was cooperative and that was what mattered. Frowning, Draco knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. “Fine. I still have my magic. I am just… choosing not to use it at the moment.” That was close to the truth. In a way. At this point, he was really thinking he’d rather be labeled a Huffie than continue this conversation. *** “Why are you not choosing to use it at the moment?” Pansy asked, utterly confused. She didn’t even press the point about Sydney. The idea of having magic and not using it, only doing things the Muggle way - what was the point? And why put himself through such an effort? It made absolutely no sense to her. *** “Because it was the best option,” Draco answered and then shook his head.. He sighed mentally. He needed to just step up and say it - because Pansy was going to find out and he’d never hear the end of it. Might as well as get it over with. “No, that’s not true,” Draco said, uncrossing his arms and looking at Pansy. “Sydney wouldn’t agree to be with me because of the magic so I volunteered to give it up. For her.” It was as blunt and simple an answer as he could provide. Now for the questions and recriminations from Pansy. But he wouldn’t change his response or his decision. He made the correct choice - Sydney was worth it. *** Pansy’s eyebrows shot up at that. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or feel pity for him. When she’d initiated their bet, she’d never expected the proud Draco Malfoy, who’d always thought himself so superior to everyone else, to give up such a big part of himself that made him feel superior. “Well,” she finally said. “I suppose I can’t say you’re not give this bet your all. Kudos to the muggle, though. I wouldn’t have thought her capable of demanding such a huge concession from you. I hope she gives you an experience that’s worth it.” *** Picking up a book as Pansy talked, Draco considered the book. It was easier than listening to her. How could… She just didn’t understand. She had never understood him. Never. The book in his hand slammed down. “Fuck the bet Pansy,” Draco snarled out. “What I did, what I gave up, wasn’t about winning any stupid bet. It was about Sydney and having a chance to be with her - to be happy.” He gestured at Pansy. “Maybe you are incapable of understanding something so important, but I’m not.” He took a deep breath and let it out. His anger on Sydney’s behalf spilling out. “She is worth the sacrifice. I’d do it for her again.” *** For a moment Pansy just stared at him, not quite believing what she was hearing. Draco wasn’t doing this just to fulfill his part of the bet? He actually wanted to? So he could have a chance to be with that tight-arsed Muggle? For her, he’d give up his very magic? Pansy tried to think back of when he’d ever given anything up for her, and came up a total blank. In their relationship, it had always been her making the sacrifices. She’d been the one making the concessions. And it slammed home the realization she already knew: that Draco had never loved her, despite what he’d claimed. He never would have made such a huge sacrifice for her. “Merlin, Draco,” she said when she finally found her voice. “You’ve fallen hard.” *** There was little he could say to that. He didn’t really think that he had - nor that he was truly in love with Sydney - but, on the other hand, he was desperate to be with her and when she had asked, he hadn’t hesitated in agreeing. Was that love? Draco didn’t actually know. He had, admittedly, little experience with the word or the emotion. Toying with the stack of books on the counter, Draco finally said, “I had not intended to agree to such a request from her, but, I found that there was a little I could refuse her when she asked.” His grey eyes turned and looked at Pansy and she could easily see the uncertainty written on his features. “I fear I have ventured into uncharted territory at this time,” Draco admitted. “I don’t even know why I agreed… It just seemed like the right thing to do.” He couldn’t even voice the emotional reason that he had done it, because the emotion was so unfamiliar. Salazaar, Draco wasn’t even remotely familiar with being nice much less love. He only could define it as want and desire. *** This was, Pansy thought, the perfect opportunity to take her revenge. Draco was in front of her, vulnerable and open, admitting to letting someone into his heart to the point where he’d readily give up his magic to make her happy. That the woman in question wasn’t her wouldn’t have mattered. What mattered was that the great Draco Malfoy had been brought to his knees at last. But Pansy couldn’t bring herself to feel glee at his situation. She only felt sad. Sad for herself, for never having enough of his love to bring this sort of devotion out of him. Sad for him, for loving someone who hated the very thing he was. “Draco,” she said softly, almost gently, “you do realize you’re giving up magic for someone who can’t appreciate that magic is who you are? How can you expect her to love you when the person you’re presenting to her isn’t you?” *** “I know, I know,” Draco said, sadness on his face, his prideful stance deserting him. Arrogance no longer seemed an appropriate response to the conversation. “But I didn't know what else to do. I want to be with hef so badly…” It sounded so one sided when stated in such a manner. “She was letting something ridiculous as her belief that magic is evil hold us apart. How could I not give magic up for a chance at more?!” And then Draco stated what he was really hoping for. “She has magic of her own and… well, you and I both know the more you use it, the more ingrained it becomes in who you are. I believe, that we will come to a middle ground of someone kind.” Just talking with Pansy made him doubt his choice. Maybe he should walk away. “Fuck,” he swore. “I don't know what I'm doing. I just know I want her. And this was how to make it happen.” *** Pansy didn’t know what to be more surprised by: that Draco’s little magical bigot had magic herself, or seeing him cut at the knees like this. She almost felt embarrassed to be here, seeing something she wasn’t supposed to see. “You poor sod,” Pansy finally said, shaking her head. Draco had definitely bit off more than he can chew this time. Even if Sydney did have magic and came to embrace it, Pansy couldn’t see it happening soon. And how long could Draco last without using his magic? Whatever the case, this was going to be a long and hard road for him. Pansy only wished she could enjoy it more. “I suppose I can only wish you luck at this point,” she said. And perhaps watch the oncoming train wreck from afar. “I really hope she’s worth all this sacrifice. I know what it’s like to give yourself up to someone who can’t appreciate it.” *** Draco knew her words were a deliberate jab at him and his treatment of her. It was only standing here, in this place, that he could even remotely see that. If, perhaps, he was a nicer person, he’d apologize. But he wasn’t and he wouldn’t. Maybe at a far distant point that would change, but for now he had more than enough to try and handle. Besides, he didn’t want Pansy’s pity. He just wanted her gone so he could concentrate on better things. At the moment he was hard pressed to define those, but he was sure they existed. “If you’ve nothing to add, feel free to take yourself elsewhere. I have better things to do than sit here and listen to your dismal predictions,” Draco sneered, hiding his vulnerability behind the usual Malfoy arrogance. *** “Yes, more ladders to be climbed,” Pansy said drily, shaking her head. She turned to go, but not without one more parting shot. “Try not to fall, darling. I’m fairly sure Muggle healing is much slower and more painful than our potions.” *** |