Who: Matthias and Nina What: a date of sorts to the fall fair When: Sept 8 Where: at the fair Rating: low-med
Nina wanted to go to the fair and decided she’d reach out to Matthias. Make it a date of sorts. She still loved him and wanted to be with him, but she also needed to ease back into a relationship with someone she’d buried. Literally carted around and buried. Plus she hadn’t been entirely truthful about why she’d been tailored to look Fjerdan. Or, rather, she hadn’t offered Matthias the full truth.
She dressed in wide legged jeans and a cute top and some orange skate shoes. The Grisha changed up her look often, because she loved how many options of clothing existed. Today might be preppy skater girl, but tomorrow she might embrace complete cottage core.
When the pair arrived, Nina looked at Matthias. “Obviously we need to try food, but would you like to go on some rides first? I avoid the games. They’re their own kind of con and until Kaz decides to work them for his angle, I’m not touching them.” Plus, most of the prizes sucked.
Matthias had adopted the modern clothing out of necessity, though he thought some of the materials better than others. He was in dark denim jeans and a white button down, the sleeves rolled up just below the elbow. He had been assured it was ‘modern’ and he would ‘blend in’ and since it was comfortable, he went with it. A small part of him hoped Nina would approve.
When they arrived, he took in the sight with bewilderment. They had the occasional fair where he was from, but the rides here were far more advanced. Some looked more dangerous than others. “Are you sure some of these are rides and not secretly torture devices?” He wasn’t saying no, he was just processing in his very Matthias way.
Nina definitely approved, especially because she thought Matthias had very nice arms. The whole outfit looked good on him. “You look nice, by the way.” She’d entwined their hands, feeling more comfortable with him as they spent time together. Helped by the fact he hadn’t vanished on her.
“I’m sure. Come on. We’ll start with the Ferris Wheel.” That seemed safe enough for Matthias, though she laughed at his observation.
He held her hand and while he blushed, he didn’t feel the instinct to pull away. Was this what people did while courting one another back home? No. But they had just gone over that, at least in Matthias’ perspective. Nina didn’t need to be woo’d the same way a Fjerdan woman would. But more than that, Matthias realized that Nina holding his hand was a big step up from how she had greeted him upon his arrival. While he didn’t hold it against her, Matthias much preferred this option between the two. So he held her hand and the blush was the only thing to say on the matter.
He followed, taking in their surroundings and then Nina herself as was his way. He’d gotten used to some of Madison’s unique attributes over the few weeks he’d been here. The spaceships he wasn’t sure he’d ever really get used to, but at least they weren’t incessant. One of the things he liked here more than Ketterdam was that Madison was cleaner.
They passed a few people at games who were using the fact that they were holding hands to try to entice them to play. Matthias needed to win Nina a prize to show his affection is what he gleaned from their banter. This, he was familiar with from Ketterdam too. The shouting and trying to get customers. Plus Matthias doubted Nina would swoon over a large pineapple with a face.
“I’ve been learning about Madison.” He said while they ended up in a short line. “Some of the things that happen here sound dangerous. Others… I’m not sure I understood them correctly.” They’d been too weird to think of as truth. “Madison must be very powerful.”
Nina missed Matthias blushing over anything remotely romantic or sexual. Saints, the Fjrdans did not do romance. Really, she felt sorry for a lot of the women.
Yes, Madison streets were definitely cleaner than Ketterdam. Most places were cleaner, especially Fjerda.
She couldn’t help but respond to one with, “When your prizes suck less, maybe I’ll win one for him.” The Carnie didn’t offer a response by the time the pair walked far enough out of earshot. “You’d think fruit with faces would get old and yet.”
The Grisha looked at Matthias. “Some of th things that happen here makes Ketterdam look downright perfect. But, some of the things could never be replaced, like waffles you can just put is the toaster and have ready to eat.” She kind of joked. “The Dome is a power unto itself. I don’t understand how, but it is. I think the worst part is how it can just…send people back home. There’s this girl here, Kayla, about our age. She asked to sit at Starbucks one morning when no other chairs were available. By the time I returned from the washroom, she’d vanished. Her dad was worried sick.” Nina felt bad for Kol, but at least his daughter returned, because Nina saw her in Starbucks a few weeks later. “One thing to know. If someone vanishes, but their things remain, they’ll eventually return.”
Matthias was torn between blushing further from her forwardness to the man and smiling and ended up with a happy medium as they passed his bewildered expression. Matthias loved Nina’s spirit.
He frowned as he listened. He knew people left because Nina had done so herself, but the way Nina was describing it sounded terrible and sudden. Slowly, as he listened, his expression changed. It was as if realization dawned on him. “I will not leave you, Nina” He said it softly and earnestly.
Maybe he had no right to say it, but Matthias wasn’t one to do things in half measures and so he would promise her this, regardless if it was in his control. Just like he promised he would always protect her.
“You’re cute when you blush,” Nina commented, knowing her comment might make Matthias blush even further. No, she wouldn’t be changing, even if she was a little different after everything back home. Matthias’s arrival didn’t negate the fact she’d buried him, changed her identity, and began working as a spy, to take down Fjerda from the inside.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Nina stopped and looked at Matthis. “I know you mean your words, but you can’t make me any promises.” If he left again, Nina would need the Crows and Zoya to help her pick up the pieces. “I’m glad you’re here. Let’s be happy while we can.” The Grisha stood up and kissed Matthias with a soft brush of her lips.
Nina was right, the reddened hugh deepened and spread a little at her words. He had never really been described as ‘cute’ before, but with Nina saying it, Matthias didn’t mind.
He watched her. Let’s be happy while we can. The words didn’t sit well with Matthias. He didn’t disagree - he wanted them to be happy, after all - but the way it sounded made things seem so temporary. It tugged on the part of him that yearned for this to be a ‘forever’ thing. Even though he understood logically that he was dead and that Madison had all the control, it didn’t stop how his heart felt.
The kiss surprised him a little. He’d only just gotten over the idea of kissing Nina in public back home and even then it had been in the half darkness. But as usual, he could not deny her. It was why he had given Kaz the last of the Jurda Parem. He kissed her back chastly before reluctantly pulling away.
He looked at her like he wanted to say something. He wanted to argue that he could make promises. He wanted to promise to make her happy while they were both here. But while his eyes held the unwavering affection, his mouth stayed closed. Maybe he would have said something, but they were suddenly ushered onto the ride.
He took a seat on the ferris wheel. He searched for something safe to say, then spoke as the ride moved slowly upward. “I will have to find work soon. I… am now sure how I would be of use here.”
Matthias was handsome and good looking and a number of other adjectives and descriptors, but the blush landed him squarely in cute at the moment, especially when he reddened even more.
Nina wished they could promise each other forever. While back home she knew she’d move on eventually, she knew deep down that Matthias would have been her forever if not for his death. And so she almost wanted to take back her words, but they were as much a reminder for her as for Matthias.
When they were ushered onto the ride, Nina took Matthias’s hands. “I missed you so much. And I want us to be us.” When he mentioned a job Nina considered where he could work. “Well, you can always work with us,” meaning the Crows. “You might enjoy Red Dog Arms. They deal with items we’re more familiar with back home. Or, you could try something new altogether. There are bookstores, places which require security guards, a game store.” The ride started and Nina rested against Matthias, grateful for how solid he felt against her.
He brightened a little at Nina’s words, subtle as the gesture was. She seemed to ease a few of the harder edges of his worries. When she leaned into him, a flurry of desires ran through the Fjerdan. They were technically in public, but he was also dead and the woman he loved had had the burden of burying him. His arm wrapped around Nina and he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of her.
“Do you want me to work with you and the Crows?” Things were different back home with the danger the Crows were in (including him) and the fact that they were trying to help Kuwei and Nina and the other Grisha now. Would there be things for him to do now? Would he be happy breaking the law if it wasn’t needed? He would have to think on this. He knew for certain then when the Crows needed help, he would be there.
They were high up and Matthias looked out at the town, though he did not give up his position with Nina while doing so. “I do not think I would be able to dream up such a place if I tried. It is a wonder.” One he knew he wouldn’t understand, so he did not dwell on that. “The stories I’ve heard from people who have been here for a long time seem hard to grasp. I heard tales of metal spiders attacking and of people believing themselves to be someone else.” The second one scared Matthias more than the first one, truth be told.
Nina didn’t want Matthias to feel bad, which is why she suggested this date. The pair needed time to readjust to the new normal where Nina was more than a year past his death. She leaned against him and wrapped an arm around her boyfriend.
“Of course I do. We work best with all six of us and I can’t imagine you not working with us now that you’re here. But obviously we’ll leave the choice up to you, Matthias.” The Fjerdan didn’t care to break the law, while the other Crows didn’t care as much…obviously.
She smiled at Matthias. “I feel more relaxed here in a way I haven’t back home.” Working as a spy, wearing someone else’s face, these things took a toll on her. She nodded. “I’m amazed and I’ve only been here off and on for a few years. Plus the random holidays we do not celebrate back home.” She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah no thanks. The zombie plants sucked a lot too.”
Was there really a choice if Nina wished him to work with her? He smiled subtly at her and decided to relish in the way Nina felt against him rather than think too hard on it. It helped that in the ride carriage they felt more private than elsewhere.
“Zombie plants?” He did not like the sound of that either. It seemed he would have to keep his wits about him in Madison while trying to build a life here. At least that felt similar in some ways. “I am glad you can relax here.” She was healthier here and despite the obvious issues, it was clear to Matthias that overall, Nina was happier.
They rode the ride in what at least Matthias thought was comfortable silence, though he would admit that there were moments his thoughts strayed to Nina’s body beside him. They always did when they were close. Perhaps it was why they had been so ‘obvious’ as Jesper had once said.
He looked at Nina. He was not one that was good with words. This, he knew. “Nina.” He looked as if he had been about to kiss her with his cheeks flushed just a little and his usual smoldering hunger in his eyes. But then the ride stopped and there was an attendant holding the small door open for them. Matthias cleared his throat and offered his hand to help her off the ride.
Nina would never press Matthias for any PDA. She knew how private he was about these things and really, the Grisha didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. She accepted the help off the ride and they walked towards one of the other ones she liked: the Tilt-O-Whirl.
“Yeah. Shockingly they at least left those from home alone, but I couldn’t control them more than that. Even Kaz’s former guardian, who has power over plants, couldn’t do much.” Not a fun time for literally anyone. Nina sighed. “You should hear it from me, but Genya tailored me to look Fjerdan so I could work as a spy. I helped save Grisha and got an in with your former commander. With my help, Ravka stood a chance in the war.” Her loyalty would never waver from helping her king and Zoya. This next part hurt Nina to say. “I wanted them to pay for taking you from me, too.” Matthias could hate her if he wished. But they couldn’t be together if he didn’t know at least some of what happened in the last year and a half. “Then I got brought back here. Ironically right when I was thinking how much I missed the Crows.” And she had. Leaving them and going off on her own…Nina missed them back home, missed Zoya, missed her own damn face.
He blinked a few times when she mentioned she had been tailored to look Fjerdan. Looking at Nina now, he could not imagine it which was ironic since he had spent some of their early time together wishing and imagining that Nina was like him. And while he liked seeing her in traditional Fjerdan clothes, Matthias could admit that he preferred Nina’s true face over any other. He had studied it long to memorize it in its entirety.
Working as a spy was not exactly a surprise, but it still tightened his chest. Not only because he still felt some loyalty to his homeland, but it would also be very dangerous for Nina. Not only because she is Grisha, but because she was a special kind now. It was in this knowledge and how she would be treated if she was caught that Matthias held onto. He would always love his home, but Nina would always come first. That had been decided back in Fjerdan.
“I am sorry you had to do any of that.” He paused, his chest still tight with a mixture of emotions. “It must have been hard for you to wear the face of a people you hate.” He wished she could love Fjerda like he did, but he also knew why she couldn’t.
“I have pictures,” she added with a laugh and pulled out her phone to show Matthias. Nina didn’t miss the look, exactly, but now she startled when she saw her actual face in the mirror. Though she doubted she’d react that way for too long.
She knew the danger she faced. But Nina refused to allow Fjerda to take anything else from her, from her country, from the people she considered family. Thankfully, Nina knew how to act and could speak Fjerdan fluently. Nobody questioned her, really, not when she acted demure as fuck.
“I found it rough but.” Nina paused. “You were in my heart and I became friends with your commander’s daughter. So they took me in as a poor simple widow.” And she may have blown up a couple places. A shrug, because that’s what she did. “I’m lucky here though. I have the Crows, you, my king, Zoya, and Genya.”
He took her phone. He was getting better at using the phone as he went along, but it still felt awkward in his hand. His eyes moved over her features. She was, in fact, beautiful as a Fjerdan. His expression seemed to say so as he looked at her. But then he looked up and his gaze held more warmth looking at Nina’s actual face. His Nina.
“I’m glad you made a friend.” He really was and that it was of his people made him feel a little warm in his chest too. “From what I understand it, we are all lucky.” He had met a few people who did not have anyone from home. He, too, could live here.
“Today we will have fun and continue to make more good memories.” Not an official promise, but Matthias didn’t do half-assed declarations.