Who: “Seamus” and “Jo” (Bucky and Johanna) What: Celebrating that the robot spiders are gone When: …after the robot spiders are gone Where: Tiramisu place Warning: Mention of killing Status: Completed via Gdoc
Now that these replicator robot things were under control, Bucky sent a message to Johanna to meet him at their spot. They’d fought and protected innocent lives together over the last… few days? And now that everything seemed to be over, he wanted to have that conversation. Like she said, they both had skeletons in their closets. It was time to show them off.
Bucky arrived at the corner in front of the Italian place that had the Tiramisu they both enjoyed, and waited for her with his hands slipped casually in his pockets. And while he looked casual and nonchalant, inside he was a turmoil of nerves and butterflies.
*
Sending bug bots to hell, summoning demons to play footie with them had been a lot of fun. For the first time in a very long time, Johanna had actually enjoyed her magic. Of course, some of the demons had been a little reluctant to go back to Hell, but she managed it.
Now came the fun part. The post battle reveal of their histories. Johanna wasn’t looking forward to it, but after talking with her male self and his bird, she felt a little more confident. She didn’t think Seamus would turn away from her, but it’s happened before.
She saw him on the corner, sighed, then walked into traffic to go meet him. Constantine Luck (patent pending) made it so she didn’t get hit, but there were a lot of blaring car horns.
When she got to him, she grabbed Seamus by the front of the shirt to haul him down for a very thorough kiss. After she let him up for air she smirked at him. “Just in case this all goes south, I wanted that to remember.”
*
The sound of the car horns made Bucky turn. After working with her side by side defeating robots, he wasn't entirely surprised that she was walking in front of cars without a care in the world. It still made his heart skip, though.
He was about to greet her warmly when she grabbed and kissed him. After a brief moment of surprise he kissed her back-- strong arms wrapping down and around her to pull her close against him.
It ended far too soon, and he looked down into her eyes. "I'm not planning on anything going south," he said, "but thank you for that." He would cherish it.
"Do you want dessert while we talk?"
*
She liked it when he looked into her eyes. That was a huge show of trust. One she didn’t hesitate to return. Especially not after fighting next to each other. Johanna got an actual smile on her face instead of a grin then snitched another, quick kiss.
“Chocolate might help this conversation go down better. Yeah.” And just to be a cheeky bitch, she darted ahead to hold the door for him instead of the other way around.
*
Bucky lifted his gloved hand to touch her cheek at the quick kiss. He couldn’t help but smirk softly at it.
Bucky wouldn’t say no to a little chocolate. He walked with her to the restaurant and was going to get the door when she did. A little smirk crossed his lips as he gave her a gentle, “thank you,” before stepping inside.
On the way, he reached for her hand.
The hostess led them through the restaurant to a booth, and gave them each a menu.
*
It was terminally adorable to have the damned magician and the former assassin holding hands like a couple of teenagers, but there it was. The image wasn’t lost on Johanna, but she found it endearing. And if anyone called them cute, she’d make certain their house was haunted by chatty ghosts.
She at least let Seamus hold her chair for her when she sat down. Johanna understood his need for old fashioned values and traditions. She’d indulge him since it didn’t poke holes in her ego.
Johanna kinda wished they served beer along with Tiramisu, but once made do with what they had. At this rate, however, the chocolate thing would become their hallmark. She waited until after they’d ordered before talking.
“Take any damage from the bugs?”
*
It would be a lie if Bucky tried to claim that he didn’t lay awake at night and think about her. They’d had one night together, and he hated that things had been awkward--he was afraid to show his metal arm, so he’d stayed half clothed the whole time. While they both enjoyed themselves--thoroughly enjoyed themselves--Bucky couldn’t help but imagine what things would be like a second time. With all the cards on the table, all the confessions laid out there. He wanted to feel her naked body against his chest. The closest he could get was holding her hand.
He didn’t care who saw it. It was a gentlemanly thing to do with a girl he fancied.
They were seated and had ordered by the time their conversation picked up again. He leaned back a little in his chair. “No, fortunately. I assume you were left unscathed?”
*
Ever since he asked her to Tiramisu the first time, Johanna had been thinking of their time together and what could happen. Johanna hesitated to get into a relationship with anyone because of the very real possibility of her past coming back to haunt her. She still fell for them from time to time. Hence, being here with Seamus now. And she knew how much better, how much more intense, sex could be with someone you were more invested in.
But he had to put a pin in that. Johanna’s mind played merry hell with her libido.
At his question, she shrugged a shoulder. “Nothin’ to speak of. Bumps and bruises.” And a nice gash on her hip from a bug she’d missed seeing, but she wasn’t going to mention that.
*
Bucky nodded. Bumps and bruises were natural after a big fight--or even a few days of fighting--like they'd had with the robot bugs. And Bucky and Jo fought side by side… he was actually impressed with her, and with how well they seemed to fall into step together.
"Now comes the hard part," Bucky said with a gentle sigh. "Confessions."
His wasn't easy, but the first part was the arm. He pulled his glove off and held up his mechanical hand so she could see.
*
Johanna had sensed something different about him when they’d met at speed dating. It wasn’t just a prosthetic if it registered on her magic. It wasn’t magical in nature, either however. This was something she’d never seen before.
Didn’t mean it bothered her. It obviously upset him, and if she wasn’t off her game, he was worried she’d run because of it. To prove she wouldn’t, she reached out to take that metal hand in both of hers.
Her fingers traced along the back of his hand as she looked at it for a moment. Then she lifted her eyes to Seamus. “Can you feel that?”
*
Bucky shifted in his seat when she took hold of his hand. “No. Not the way I can feel this,” he added, bringing his other hand over to rest on top of hers. “It’s made from a metal called Vibranium. In my world it’s only found in one area of the world--I stayed there for a while to recover.”
…recover from what? He thought he could feel the question in the air.
“I was born on March 10, 1917. During the war, my best friend Steve was involved with a program where they were trying to genetically modify a super soldier. We didn’t know that there were other groups working on the same thing. When I was lost over a cliff during the war, my friends thought I’d gone. But I was taken. Treated the same way. Brainwashed. Used.”
He shifted again. “They had to give me this arm because mine was destroyed in the fall.”
*
“So you are seriously robbing the cradle, then.” Johanna grinned at him for the joke. She wasn’t sure how the age thing worked, but she didn’t want him to think it made a difference to her. It did explain the whole old fashioned thing.
Her fingers traced over the ribbing that allowed for full range of motion. It really was a genius of engineering, and she didn’t even know that much about it. “Why do I feel there’s more t’it than just recovery and a prosthetic?”
She arched a brow at him, but continued to hold both his hands. She had a feeling he’d need the encouragement that physical touch could offer.
*
That was definitely not the response that Bucky had been expecting. He broke into a gentle grin at those words, and then nodded. “Seriously robbing the cradle indeed.” Though there were a few people in Madison Valley he could date without robbing the cradle, there were certainly a lot more who would make that phrase true.
“Because you’re a brilliant woman,” he said, a little flirtatiously, but also with hesitation. That part of the story wasn’t his favorite. Her hand was warm and encouraging, though, and he went on. “They used me. I was put into a deep freeze, and whenever I was needed I was thawed, given instructions, used to assassinate whoever they didn’t want around.” He wasn’t proud of it, but at the same time it wasn’t his fault.
“I logged seventy years as an assassin before I was saved from that life.”
*
She really did like that flirting game he had. It went right to the feels. Naughty and nice. The naughty part couldn’t wait until he got over the whole courting before sex thing. It was a nice build up, but Johanna’d taken a number of cold showers now.
His answer wasn’t entirely surprising. Just disappointing and infuriating. Not at him. At the piles of crap what did this to him. Johanna’s smile faded into a scowl of disapproval, but she never once released his hands. Even if he tried to pull away she’d tighten her grip.
“Bright side is they kept ya around so I’d find ya.” For once, greed might be used in a good way.
*
Bucky actually broke into a shy smile at that, his eyes still on her hands wrapped around his. He was simply waiting for her to decide that she didn’t want to hang around with someone who spent an entire lifetime murdering people. The fact that she hadn’t run away yet was something of a good sign.
“I s’pose so,” he said, softly. “So. Now you know everything.”
*
Johanna’s fingers tightened around his for what she was going to say. She also looked him dead in the eyes.
“You do know none of it’s yer fault, right?” Before he could say anything… “I know that’s hard t’believe since it’s your hands what done it, but it’s still true. Y’didn’t have a conscious choice in the matter. I like t’think I know ya some and I don’t think y’d go out snuffin’ folks without good reason.”
There was no way she could keep hold of his hands if he wanted to pull away. That wasn’t the point. She was making sure he knew she believed every word she said.
*
Bucky didn’t respond. After therapy, he was starting to understand that it wasn’t his fault. At the same time, however, he had to make amends. He was working hard to make amends before he was brought here to Madison Valley. That was important to him.
He gave her hand a very gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Jo.”
*
She knew what she said probably wouldn’t go far. It never did with her…when it wasn’t actually her fault. Johanna realized, however, that the difference between them was that some of the worst things she’d done had been on purpose.
Which would make this next part really, really difficult.
She gave Seamus a tight smile, took a deep breath then tore off the bandaid. “I sent a kid t’Hell. Damned her soul for all time. No take backs. No rescue.”
Fucking Astrid! If she’d just listened when Johanna’d told her to stay where she was!
*
Bucky’s hands were still wrapped around hers across the table. The metal and the flesh one alike. She took a deep breath and spoke, and his fingers tightened around hers. Not painfully so, but mirroring the gesture of comfort and support that she’d shown him when he told her about his past.
He wasn’t about to let go. Not anytime soon.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a gentle way that showed he really meant it. “What happened?”
*
Normally, she’d pull away. Harden up. Withdraw into herself and become a bitch. Johanna thought that was what she would do. Surprisingly, she did. She tightened her fingers around Seamus’...and felt more than a little vulnerable.
“Her Da.” The fucking idiot. “He’d been messin’ around. Summonin’ shit he knew better than to muck with. His daughter called me.” Astrid. Shit. She still couldn’t say her name out loud. “By the time I showed up it was too late t’stop anythin’. I told her t’hide and stay there while I dealt with it.” And I thought she’d fucking listen! “Her Da was too far gone, and the portal he’d opened was lettin’ stuff into our world. I thought it was safe enough t’be vulgar and just whipped up a spell t’send everythin’ back. Like turnin’ on a fan on a pile o’feathers.”
Her hands tightened even more. “She came lookin’ for her Da. I was safe in a circle. She wasn’t. If I stepped out t’get her, we both woulda been sucked in. So I stayed where I was so I could shut it all down. But she went through.”
A deep frown formed on Johanna’s face. “I knew better. Coulda done somethin’ more detailed. More refined. I had the time, but I’m a feckin’ show off. Had t’show Hell I’m as big and bad as what it’s got. She paid the price for my ego.”
*
Bucky’s fingers were tight against hers. He breathed slow, looking deep into her eyes without bias or judgment. He listened carefully, his brow furrowing gently at the story. It sounded awful.
“I’m so sorry, Jo,” he said again. Of course, his apologies were meaningless, weren’t they? He ran his thumb over her knuckle gently. “But, you said you both would have been lost if you’d gone out to save her.”
*
“Probably,” she said. “Coulda got sucked into Hell. And it was that thought what kept me inside the circle. Nothin’ else. Made a grab for her and for a moment I had her. Then…” Johanna could still see the look on Astrid’s face as she went into the portal.
Getting a bit anxious, Johanna wanted to take her hands back but didn’t want to give the wrong impression. Instead, she frowned and practically clung to Seamus’ hands.
“Since then it’s been nothin’ but bad to worse. Anyone gets around me long enough they get dead, damned, or worse. One o’me exes…she got her hands on a bag o’sand that belongs to Lord Morpheus. It’d been mine and I f’rgot about it. She fucked around with it until she just lived in dreams. Didn’t eat. Didn’t drink. Just…wasted away. Mate of mine, a demon went after him t’get to me. And all I do is just clean up the mess.”
*
Bucky hated that she’d had such a hard time of it--that it seemed like her life had so much trauma. Too many people around her dead or dying, and Bucky certainly knew that feeling. He’d had a lot of it in his own life. They were both alone. They’d been alone for a long time. A part of him hoped that they could somehow fix it. Was there anything that he could do to fix it for her?
Hell, he couldn’t even get his own life put in order. How could he fix anything for anyone else?
“You’ve had a lot of shit dumped on you,” he said--the curse word uncharacteristic for the type of language that he normally used. “A lot of tragedy. Sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time alone.”
*
A grim looking smile came to Johanna’s face. “Lotta shit of me own makin’. I can admit that much. I’m a bloody misanthrope and a cynic. The world’s stuff full of stupid people what can’t keep their curiosity behind their good sense. When they screw up…shit hits the fan and I gotta clean up their mess? Pisses me right off.”
It’s ok. Johanna’s mouth was foul enough for the both of them. She was entirely unapologetic about it.
“Bein’ alone keeps more people from becomin’ damned or dead. It’s one thing to have a shag or two. Another t’lose yer heart to a person what’ll get you possessed by a knight of Hell.” She shrugged a shoulder.
“I’m told that won’t happen here.” But judging by her tone, she isn’t sure she entirely believes that.
*
Bucky couldn't help but smirk at that. Her language was foul, but she said it like she saw it. No tip-toeing around anything. She was honest almost to a fault, this one, and Bucky appreciated it more than he could say. He'd had enough of people being too polite.
"I've never heard of that happening here," Bucky said gently, squeezing her hands. And then, after a pause: "I'm willing to risk it if you are."
*
Johanna looked Seamus in the eyes for a moment. In silence, a genuine smile made an appearance. This man? She was scared to admit it, but she felt he was worth making the attempt. He understood the shit she carried with her, probably better than anyone could except her male counterpart. It was a nice feeling, actually.
But of course, those nice feelings don’t belong with a bitch like her, so after she was sure he’d seen the nice smile, she grinned. “Any risk is worth it if it means gettin’ you outta your pants again.”
It was more than that, but she wasn’t yet ready to vocalize it. She just had to make sure Seamus saw it.
*
Bucky laughed. It was a sudden, happy laugh--an almost embarrassed laugh that made his cheeks go red. He was really going to have to get used to this. Women were so forward in this time period. And Jo more than most.
"It's definitely in the cards," he admitted. And then a little more seriously, "thanks for taking a chance on me. And for your patience while I figure all this shit out."
*
“Back atcha, luv.” Johanna squeezed his hands before she leaned over the table to place a light kiss to his lips. She smiled when she sat back down. “Now I want my chocolate fix.”