Who: Veronica Mars and Leo D’Amato What: Veronica’s in shock Where: Their house When: Friday evening - shortly after this Warnings: references to death and alcoholism Status: complete gdoc
By the time Veronica walked in the door of the house she and Leo had so recently purchased and moved into, she was almost convinced the past hour or so had been nothing but a very vivid dream. The dome had been granting wishes apparently, so maybe this was hers - a chance for closure with her dead husband. A glance at her phone proved that it was not a hallucination or dream or anything other than absolutely real though.
She was guessing Leo hadn’t seen it yet, since he wasn’t (a) blowing up her phone or (b) standing in the doorway waiting for her. “Leo?” she called. “Where are you?” Her face was pale and she felt like she might throw up, though she also desperately wanted a drink or six. This was going to be rough.
***
There was a crash from the bathroom, a few pieces of falling metal, a moment of silence then Leo’s voice came out. “Nothing! It’s fine. I’m fine. Mostly.” He had taken it upon himself to make this place a home for the two of them. She definitely had a say since he was always texting her phones or links saying What do you think of this? Then he would try to do all the install and set up himself. His fingers were nothing but bandaids these days.
More rustling sounds followed by a clang and Leo muttering ow then he emerged from the bathroom with his puppy dog smile in place. “Hey. You uh...might want to use the master bath for a bit.”
***
Veronica stared at him blankly. Home improvements were the last thing on her mind right now. Standing here in front of him, she suddenly had no idea what to say. As she opened her mouth to speak, everything that she’d felt since the moment Logan popped into the WAMM building slammed into her like a truck and instead of speaking, she just started crying.
***
Leo suddenly forgot all about everything he was doing in the house in lieu of closing the distance between them so he could pull her into an engulfing hug.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Had someone gone home and he missed seeing it? That wouldn’t normally make her this upset.
***
Burying her face against his chest, she leaned against him, letting him support her because she suddenly felt like it was difficult to stay on her feet. After a minute or so, Veronica managed to croak out two words. “Logan. Here.”
And that set off a fresh wave of tears. Honestly, she had no idea how she’d managed to hold it together for this long.
***
Leo just made stupid hushing noises as he held her, stroked and kiss her hair. Whoever or whatever has made her cry was going to get a stern telling off...and maybe a strong punch. It took a lot to make Veronica cry, let alone like this.
Then she got the words out. Leo felt his heart sink. He couldn’t chastise or punch this one, and he completely understood why she was in this state now. Goddammit! When was she going to get a break!
“Come on,” he said then started leading her toward the couch.
***
She let him lead her over to the couch and curled up in a ball against him once they were seated. It took a few minutes for her to get herself under control and, by the time she did, her face was blotchy and she felt gross from crying.
“I’m sorry,” she said. It wasn’t fair that Leo kept having to deal with her emotional breakdowns. “He showed up in the office. Punching a wall. From the reunion.”
Which would probably clue Leo in about why this made her break down even more since it meant that Logan had no idea about their future.
***
“Hey,” he said as he caught her face with both hands. “Don’t be sorry. That’s one of the things I’m here for.” He didn’t mind at all.
He let out with a sigh. Great. This wasn’t going to be awkward at all. But that wasn’t important right now. “Why didn’t you call or text me?” For that matter, why hadn’t anyone else they worked with gotten in touch with him? Another thing for later.
“Never mind,” he muttered then kissed her head. “You want to tell me what happened or just get drunk?” Because he’d be ok with her getting drunk over this.
***
Getting drunk was seriously tempting. Veronica sniffed and coughed, her nose kind of runny and her throat a little sore from all the crying. “Can you make some tea first?” she asked. “And I’ll tell you what happened.” And then maybe she’d want to get drunk.
“You can throw a splash of whiskey in the tea if we have any.” Or maybe she could multi task.
***
Leo reached behind himself to grab the box of tissues from the end table. He handed it to Veronica then got up. “Tea. Yep. Made the Irish way.” He smiled then leaned down to kiss her forehead then went to the kitchen.
It wasn’t like their apartment. He couldn’t talk to her from the kitchen so it was a little while before he came back with the whiskey spiked hot tea. “Don’t ask me where I kept the whiskey. I’m not going to tell you.”
***
While he was gone, Veronica actually got up and went to the bathroom so she could blow her nose and splash some cold water on her face. She still felt vaguely nauseated by the whole thing, though she thought that she could at least get through telling Leo about her conversation with Logan without breaking down again.
By the time he came into the living room with the tea, she’d curled back up on the sofa and gratefully took the mug, cradling it in her hands and inhaling the scent before taking a careful sip.
“I wasn’t going to,” she said. She didn’t want to know. Especially right now.
When he sat down next to her again, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I don’t deserve you.”
***
If there ever was a time when Leo felt Veronica deserved to get blind drunk, this was it. He had honestly thought about this possibility and what would happen. In all the scenarios, however, he was with her.
“Oh stop,” he said with that cute grin on his face. Once he got settled he held an arm out in invitation. She might need space, but he’d give her the option. “You’ll give me an ego.”
***
“Give you one?” she teased. “If yours was any bigger, we’d need a bigger door.”
Veronica did lean against him, grateful for his solid presence. “So you know about the brawl at the reunion a few years ago, right?” she asked. It wasn’t something she’d thought about in a while and she honestly couldn’t remember if he’d heard about it or not. “Apparently that’s where Logan was pulled here from. So we’ll need someone to patch the hole in the wall in the reception area.”
Which honestly was the least of their problems. Well, her problems. Because Logan’s arrival was definitely a problem.
“I told him that I solved Carrie’s murder and got him off the hook,” she said. “But he thought I was still with Piz. I told him you and I bought a house together here.” She hadn’t told him about the rekindling of their relationship though and she had no idea how to even think about doing so considering how it turned out.
***
Leo wasn’t sure what had happened at the reunion. Since he hadn’t been in school in Neptune he didn’t pay attention to that stuff. “I still can’t believe there was a guy named Piz.” Oh, the things he’d missed out on during his time of being in the FBI.
He shifted on the couch so he was in a kind of sprawl to allow her to lay on him. “What did he say about us?” He wanted to know where Logan’s head would be before he ran into him, thanks.
***
Veronica shrugged. “Not much,” she said. “Just congratulations.” There were obviously a lot of things that she hadn’t told him and while she knew at some point she probably should, she wasn’t exactly in a hurry to do so.
“I feel guilty,” she admitted a moment later. “I know I should tell him about our relationship and his… death.” She faltered on that last word. “Especially since it was my fault.”
***
Leo didn’t know Logan as well as Veronica did, but he was fluent in Man-ese. Not much translated to I’m really upset but I’m going to bottle it up until it explodes out of me in the worst way at the worst time. All he could do was sigh and nod.
That didn’t last however. “Hey, no.” There was more squirming so he could make her look at him. “It wasn’t your fault so knock that shit off right now.”
***
It was easy for him to say that. “It was my car, Leo,” she said. “That bomb was meant for me.” If Logan hadn’t gone to move her car, he would still be alive. Of course, Veronica knew that meant she would have died, but honestly, she would have preferred that to carrying the crushing guilt she did.
“I have to tell him, right?” She really didn’t want to though.
***
“You didn’t put the bomb in it, Veronica.” This kind of thing was something they actually taught at Quantico. Friends and family would always be a target and it would always be easy to take the guilt. That was what the bad guys wanted. No, it wasn’t easy, but you had to keep telling yourself it wasn’t your fault or you went nuts. “Logan was Navy. He knew all about risks, and I’d bet my left testicle he’d be the first one to tell you to not blame yourself.”
The question was a tough one. He sighed again. “Yeah. But not right now. Give him time to get settled and yourself time to freak out.”
***
“I know, but…” Veronica sighed and stared down at her mug of tea for a moment before taking a long sip.
She took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to stave off more tears. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted. “Part of me just wants to pretend he’s not really here and avoid him.” That wasn’t fair to Logan and she knew it.
***
“But nothing.” This was one thing Leo was going to be firm on. It was a slippery slope down into a really bad place, and he wouldn’t let Veronica so much as step foot on that path. “You wouldn’t want him to blame himself if your positions were reversed.”
Leo pulled her into his arms again. “I know. But you couldn’t do that if you tried. Not for long, anyway.” Veronica didn’t hide from anything. She’d have her meltdown and then her busy mind would get going again. He’d be here for all of that.
***
Veronica leaned over long enough to put her mug down and then curled up against him, realizing the front of his shirt was still kind of damp from her earlier breakdown. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “You didn’t sign up for this.”
It wasn’t fair to him that he kept having to drag her back from the brink of self destruction.
***
“Will you stop?” Leo chuckled a little as he kissed the top of her head. “You think I didn’t know what I was getting into by dating Veronica Mars?” He smiled down at her. “Twice?” Then he grinned.
“This is what people do. They’re there for each other when shit gets real. So here I am because I want to be.”
***
Stopping was much easier said than done even though Veronica knew that Leo did know what he was getting into with her. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her at her worst before they got together.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
***
That was enough to make Leo’s heart melt through the floor. He knew better than to make a big deal out of it, although if he made her swat him she might feel better.