Who: Luke Crain and OTA Jesse Custer What: Contemplating Where: Park When: Tuesday Warnings: TBD Status:OPEN In Progress
Luke had been in Madison a few days. Which meant a few nights, as well. Entirely sleepless nights. He'd sat awake, wide eyed and terrified, in his lonely apartment. He missed the bustle of people at the rehab center, the soft snores and stifled moans of his roommates as they slept. He'd kept the TV on, the radio too, just for the noise, but it didn't help. It wasn't the same. It was artificial noise, and he was entirely, painfully, alone.
Morning came and drove him out of the apartment. He wasn't a fan of the sunlight, but he preferred it to the dark of night, when the demons in his head were most active. With daylight, he wandered the streets, hunkered down in his jacket, shoulders hunched, head bent. He avoided eye contact, avoided any and all contact as much as was possible. The only person he looked at was the kid at the counter in the bakery where he got himself a steaming cup of coffee.
It did little to settle his nerves. In the long run, it would only make him more jittery, but at the moment he didn't care. hHe needed something to hold in his hands, something to anchor him to this place and this moment. He sat on a bench in the park, looking very much like a homeless person just trying to get by. It wasn't far from the truth of who and what he was, and he hated it. Felt trapped by it. Unsure how and unable to break away from that image. That loop.