azure_rosa (azure_rosa) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2012-07-26 18:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | chat: drabble night, drabbles |
My Drabbles from Drabble/Drawable night
Title: My Drabbles from Drabble/Drawble Night
Summary: Two drabbles written in chat for the monthly Drabble/Drawable night.
Pairings: Snape/Lupin implied
Disclaimer: If you think any of these characters are mine please tell me what world you live in so I can move there posthaste!
Timeline: The first is PoA at the end of the year and the second I see as Post Second War without the canon ending.
Rating: these are all pretty low rated, I'd say g-pg-13 tops.
Author: azure_rosa
Salt in the wound: 321, PoA era, very mild angst
It was hard to remember that this was at least as much my doing as it was Severus’. It was so easy to blame Severus for it all, he was hurt and predictably lashed out in the most effective fashion available to him.
Confiding my suspicions to him seemed like the height of folly at the time and seeing both Sirius and Peter on the map at once kindled such a fierce hope in my chest that all other concerns evaporated.
I knew Severus was coming any minute to bring me my potion. I knew I could show him the map and even if he didn’t fully believe me based on that alone would have been enough to make him listen and come with me on the off-chance I was wrong and I had been betrayed by both of my former friends as opposed to merely one of them.
Should haves and would haves danced through my head as I packed my belongings to once again leave the only place I had ever felt safe and happy. If I had taken that step and trusted Severus then maybe, just maybe, he would have trusted me. Maybe then everything we had worked for between us wouldn’t have crumbled at the first hint of a betrayal that never truly occurred.
I deserved the mistrust I received, having failed to extend my trust to my lover it is only right he likewise refuse me his. I doubted we could or would be able to bounce back from this, our first chance to prove that the first, fragile tendrils of trust could sustain us until they strengthened merely shattered under pressure.
The public announcement of my secret was merely salt in the wound of my own stupidity. I was to blame as much as he, but that didn’t make it any harder to lay the blame at his feet.