stoicstella (stoicstella) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2012-02-19 23:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | prompt: love/not love |
Fic/Art: All is Fair (R)
Title: All is fair
Author:Stoicstella
Rating: R
Pairing: Severus/Remus (mentions of Remus/Tonks)
Challenge: The Love/Not Love Challenge
Summary: This is a series of six sonnets, with accompanying photo-manipulations, which form a correspondence between Severus and Remus. The first four bring us to the end of HBP and the last two to around the time of DH’s climax.
Warnings: Strong language, Poetry, implied canon compliance, heartache
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, with a borrowed world and characters. Nobody is profiting from it.
Wordcount: 657
From Severus Snape to Remus Lupin
It wasn’t my intention at the start
for what we did to be construed as love.
You hadn’t any claims upon my heart;
I hadn’t much affection to speak of.
Already I had made so many vows
there wasn’t any point demanding more,
but bodies twined together can arouse
emotions better left behind in war.
I should, of course, have shunned your first advance,
and reinforced the boundaries I keep,
should not have been compelled by your sly glance,
when unforgiving nights denied me sleep,
because there will be nothing left to give,
whether or not we’re both allowed to live.
(click to enlarge)
From Remus Lupin to Severus Snape
I know you see yourself as one small cog
inside this complicated war machine.
You fancy that your soul must be some bog
that no amount of loving can make clean.
I should have never made that first advance;
I’m far too old to fight this uphill climb,
only to find I never stood a chance
against your need to die for your past crime.
I love you and I hate you, foolish man.
I haven’t misconstrued a single thing.
Tell yourself whatever lies you can;
refer to this as just an ill-timed fling.
I never laid a claim upon your heart,
but you knew my intentions from the start.
(Click to enlarge)
From Severus Snape to Remus Lupin
Oh, give in to your auror paramour,
for she’s made her intentions crystal clear.
Yes, I will be a martyr to this war,
but don’t you shed a single fucking tear.
I cannot take on any extra guilt;
you cannot shame me to another vow.
How many precious lilies must I wilt?
What will it take for you to disavow?
I’m more than just a misanthrope, I’m cruel.
I do not hide a sweeter side beneath.
Forgiving me confirms you are a fool.
What must I do to make you bare your teeth?
In just a while longer, I surmise,
you’ll reconsider trusting me as wise.
(click to enlarge)
From Remus Lupin to Severus Snape
I didn’t know a man could live his life
without a heart to beat inside his chest.
I’ve given in, but I can’t love my wife
while there’s this gaping hole upon my breast.
Your double crossing actions proved your case;
I cannot trust a single word you’ve said,
but neither will I ever quite erase
the cadence of your voice inside my head.
I hope my letter finds you feeling ill;
I hope your ulcer’s bleeding as I write.
I wish that I weren’t pining for you still
and love could be extinguished just by spite.
For wizard-kind, I hope a plan’s at play,
but how I will forgive you, I can’t say.
(click to enlarge)
Severus Snape to Remus Lupin
This pointless war is drawing to a close;
a final stance seems only days away.
I shouldn’t risk this letter, Merlin knows,
and really there is nothing left to say.
I fucked this whole thing up, from first to last,
my bad decisions propagating worse,
while all the fated moments of my past
were leading to that tower and that curse.
I don’t want absolution for that act;
my last confession now would just sound trite.
My guilt is not a feeling, but a fact.
You can’t forgive me; you don’t have the right.
I know you needed one last rally cry,
but selfishly I wrote to say good-bye.
(click to enlarge)
Remus Lupin to Severus Snape
I dreamed of you the night your owl arrived
and almost missed her loud insistent taps.
Transfixed inside this world where we survived,
I wasn’t ready then to let it lapse.
But now that there’s no time to fix the past,
let’s not confuse this issue with my hope.
I can’t recall the dice once they’ve been cast,
so if you die, you fool, I’ll have to cope.
Now, glut you’re heavy heart with your goodbyes
and confess nothing with your final breath.
I’ll take it to mean just as it implies,
and all those things you can’t deny in death,
and even though I love you, I’ll confess
there’s nothing left to salvage from this mess.