Fic: And Sometimes Darkness, part 3, SS/RL, R
Title: And Sometimes Darkness Author/Artist: undun Rating: mature/adult content, R Pairing(s)/character(s): Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Nymphadora Tonks, Harry et al. Summary: After the War against the Dark Lord, some are left behind. Not forgotten by everyone, as Severus Snape finds out. Disclaimer: Not-for-profit fan creation. Warnings: I hate warnings. There may be unpleasant stuff in here. There, that’s it. Anything else would be a spoiler. Notes: A story that didn’t begin its life as an AU, but is now certainly in that category. Words: 1,865
3. Dark Works
He was being stonewalled. St Mungo’s staff insisted that they had no record of Severus Snape having been admitted, and therefore no record of his treatment for double magical amputation. He strode along the corridor; he had one contact here and he intended to use it.
“Cho!”
“Profess– er, Mr. Lupin?”
He jogged up to the dark haired young woman. “Just call me Remus, please,” he huffed out, smiling down at her.
“Of course. Remus it is. You look worried; what’s wrong?” she asked him.
“Frustrated at every turn is what I am, Cho. I wondered if you would have any information about Severus Snape’s treatment here? I’m getting nowhere with the administration staff – they insist he was never admitted,” he told her in a hushed voice, steering her away from the main corridor to some vacant seats. She sat slowly, brow wrinkled in confusion.
“Well, no he wasn’t admitted. They had a healer sent to his cell to examine him, but that’s all I know of it,” she explained.
She might as well have slapped him.
“Severus was never admitted for proper treatment,” he thought aloud. That meant he’d been held in a cell at the mercy of Magical Law Enforcement guards right after losing both his legs.
“That’s right. Are you okay, Remus? You look pale.”
He focused on her face, noticing her frown of concern. It was true he did feel breathless, but he was afraid that it would turn to an overwhelming rage if he loosened his grip on himself even a little.
“I’m fine. Listen, thank you for filling me in,” he replied, then added, with a foreboding sense that qualified help would be hard to procure, “You’ve finished your finals now, haven’t you?”
She smiled at him. “That’s right. I’m not allowed to practice yet, mind, the results aren’t in, but the instructors are all assuring me I’ve done fairly well.”
Remus returned her smile, though it was stiff and made him feel like a waxwork dummy. “Good for you!” He patted her hand, ready to do some gentle manipulation. “I wonder whether I might ask another favour, Cho?”
“Yes, of course, Remus,” she replied.
Feeling equal parts wretched and relieved, he explained, “I think Severus might need to see a qualified healer. He was pardoned yesterday, as you probably know, and he is staying with me due to his condition.”
“He’s staying with… you, and you want me to… treat him?”
“Strictly off the record I assure you, and I’d be happy to reimburse you for your trouble,” he added, knowing full well that impoverished medimagic students were likely to stretch the rules in order to pay their rent. The expression on her face could have been fear, disgust or both. Remus waited, chewing the inside of his lip.
“He was a hex amputation – on both legs?”
A thoughtful frown followed on her face as Remus nodded, keeping his nervous silence and hoping to see the scales tip in his favour. To his gratification she continued, almost talking to herself.
“He should have been admitted first thing. It’s nothing short of criminal to have kept him locked up like that – what was he going to do, run away?”
He let out a quiet breath. “You’ll come see him then?”
“Yes, I will,” she replied, blinking in apparent surprise at her own temerity. She smiled and added, “You’ll not let him eat me, then?”
He patted her hand again. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s a vegetarian.”
~~~^~~~
Remus next made his way to the Ministry of Magic while wondering what he was going to use to pay Cho for her medical services – perhaps she might like some attractively threadbare socks? He didn’t have time to dwell overmuch on the issue, however; spotting his former lover in foyer of the Ministry, her bright hair lit like a beacon, he moved to the next item on his to-do list.
“Tonks!” he greeted her, striding to her side quickly.
“Remus! Hello, love!” she exclaimed happily, rising onto her toes to kiss him on the cheek. It still made him blush after all this time.
“Steady on,” he laughed self-consciously. She made a rude sound and jabbed him in the shoulder.
“Wotcha doing skulking around here then?”
“I’m not skulking!” he protested, “I’m trying get Snape’s wand back for him. Who do I see?”
“Ah.”
“What does ‘ah’ mean, precisely?” he queried, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
“Um, it would mean that you can’t get something back when it is an item that no longer exists, my dear Remus, friend to all foul greasy gits.”
His mouth hung open in shock. The day just kept getting better and better.
“Good thing there’s no flies in here,” she commented.
“Bloody hell,” he whispered.
“Look, I don’t see why it’s such a surprise – he’s a Dark wizard, Remus. And what’s it to you anyway? Why are you fetching and carrying for him?”
He straightened with a frown. “He was pardoned! And I’m not sure you heard, dear, but he has no fucking legs!” Hold it, hang onto it – don’t dare let it go. The fury wanted out; he felt like an unwelcome rider atop a Hungarian Horntail.
“Yes, well, Moody never let that–”
He interrupted her, hissing through clenched teeth. “Alastor was probably tripping over healers ready to treat him. Severus saw one. In his cell. It was a matter of form only – he hasn’t been properly treated in the two months since it happened.”
“Still, a man like that, you can’t expect–”
“What? Justice? So who decides who is treated lawfully, Tonks – you?” He couldn’t stomach it anymore; he had to get away before he lost control completely.
That was two thwarted errands so far. He hoped the groceries wouldn’t give him any lip.
~~~^~~~
“Severus, it’s just me,” he called as he let himself in the front door, narrowly avoiding premature scrambling of the eggs he’d just bought. Remus jiggled the carton carefully back into the overburdened grocery bag and kicked the door closed rather too forcefully. He heard an echoing thud from the lounge room and, placing the shopping bags down as quickly as he could without losing the eggs, he moved swiftly to the source of the sound.
“Severus?” he called anxiously, imagining any number of mishaps. He halted at the doorway. Severus was sprawled on the dingy rug looking up at him in consternation. He walked over and offered him a hand. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, I think so.” The man struggled up onto the sofa after shrugging off Remus’ attempts to lift him. “I sometimes forget,” he elaborated obscurely.
“Pardon?” Forget what exactly?
“Yes,” Severus murmured, straightening his weathered black robes awkwardly.
They gave an appearance of melting as they descended his solid torso and flattened out against the sofa after mid thigh; it was more disturbing to Remus than the prospect of seeing the man’s remaining stumps of leg.
“I forget sometimes, when I first wake up. I begin to rise as I have always done – to find that my legs are no longer there to stand on,” he finished quietly.
Remus’ heart flipped over with what felt like a small blue whale following in its wake.
“I must have fallen asleep from the sheer tedium of trying to read that book,” Severus added, pointing an accusing finger at Remus’ dog-eared copy of ‘A Literary Overview of the Works of Gilderoy Lockhart’ that rested inoffensively on the floor next to the sofa.
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I’ve often found it conducive to a good night’s sleep myself, Severus.”
“Hmf.”
“Excuse me a moment, will you? I left the groceries in the hallway,” Remus said, backtracking to pick up the bags. “I’ll make some tea, shall I?” he offered as he carried the shopping past the lounge.
“That would be… nice.”
Remus frowned. He was certain ‘nice’ was not a word that had ever been in danger of overuse by Severus. “Coming right up,” he called.
He stashed the food away as the kettle boiled then fished out two tea bags to dump in his mismatched mugs. He couldn’t remember if Severus took milk or not. That was odd. They had spent many Order meetings huddled over teacups at Grimmauld Place. “Early onset dementia, old boy,” he muttered with a grimace – louder he asked, “Severus, black or white?” Something that sounded like “Dark, not black” filtered into the kitchen.
Carrying the mugs back to the lounge he gave one to Severus and slowly lowered himself into the armchair opposite with a deep sigh of pleasure. It was a short-lived respite; he had to tell Severus about his wand, something he was beginning to suspect would not surprise the man. He took a reviving gulp of tea in preparation.
“I ran into Tonks at the Ministry today,” he began. “I asked about your wand.”
Severus’ black eyes fixed on his face, bland expression sharpening to interest.
He took a deep breath. “She said that your wand was destroyed.”
There, it was done. And suddenly the tea in his hand held no appeal. He placed it on the floor beside his chair. After some moments, during which he studied his shoes in silence, he ventured a look at the man opposite. Severus had that faraway look in his eyes again, as if he had some secret place to retreat to when the present time and place was simply unbearable.
Perhaps that was a necessary reaction – a way to survive what had happened to him since the Aurors attacked him. Remus frowned, wondering how he could pull the man back into the here and now, or whether he should even try. Perhaps he should just allow Severus to make his way back in his own time.
He rose from his chair, picking up his half-drunk tea, and gently took the cooling mug Severus was cradling from his lax hands.
“I knew they would.”
Remus nearly slopped luke-warm tea over the man. “What?”
Severus turned his head to face him. “I knew they would destroy my wand, Remus. They couldn’t destroy me in the end, so they did the next best thing.”
He couldn’t decide what shocked him more: Severus calling him by his first name or the burgeoning knowledge that something truly awful had occurred while Severus had been in MLE custody.
Late that night he lay awake listening to the soft snoring coming from the other bed. He took solace from the fact that Severus was sleeping soundly as the man clearly needed his rest. He’d cooked them scrambled eggs and mushrooms for dinner – Severus’ emaciation had made him doubt whether he could digest anything heavier just yet. He stared through the dimness of the room at the lump Severus made under the bed covers. After everything the bastard had done to make his life hell over the years, he really shouldn’t do this; he shouldn’t feel this much. Slow tears rolled over the edge of his eyelids anyway; no amount of rationality could stop them and they dampened the pillow under his cheek. He smiled ruefully in the dark – who else did Severus have to cry for him?