Fic Post: Double, Double
Title: Double, Double Pairing: Snape/Lupin/Snape (?) Rating: soft R Summary: A potions accident has left Hogwarts with two Severus Snapes. It's up to Remus Lupin to rejoin them. Note: this was originally a series of drabbles in the Snape100 and Lupin100 communities.
Severus stared at the other man. His mirror image, down to the part in his hair and the position of his scars, blinked back at him. "What the hell just happened?" they said in unison.
Gregory Goyle, scarlet to the roots of his hair, lifted a bright yellow book. Both Snapes turned to face him. "Charms for Dummies? What is this nonsense?"
"I - I - I - "
"Spit it out!" exclaimed the original. "Give me that book!" exclaimed the duplicate. Both Snapes recoiled as they read the author's name.
"Lupin? I should have known this was his fault!"
*****
Lupin was his usual cheerful self as he contemplated the two Snapes. “Now, now, Severus. It’s not nearly as bad as you think. If Goyle used the charm I think he did, it should be simple to correct.”
The Snapes folded their arms. He smiled reassuringly and raised his wand. “Finite incantatum!”
There was a loud bang, a puff of smoke, and silence. Two Snapes looked disgusted.
“Really, Lupin. Did you write that book for yourself?” said one.
“I – “
“Surely even you would realize that such a simple charm wouldn’t work against the power of Goyle?” said the other.
*****
Lupin scratched his head. The two Snapes were seated on his chesterfield, one reading Charms for Dummies and making most unflattering comments, the other skimming the evening paper. An idea came to him.
"Severus?" He tried not to start as two identical heads snapped up. "Perhaps if you - both of you - apparated to the same place and then apparated back to the identical spot? It might - "
"We saw that episode of Star Trek," they chorused. "Didn't work then, won't work now."
"You haven't even tried it!" exclaimed Lupin.
"That's what you think," said the Snapes.
*****
Remus tried everything: reintegratio, potions, Hermione researching old spells, immersion in an alchemical bath, Goyle talking backward while he incanted…
No matter what, two Snapes now lived and worked at Hogwarts.
There were advantages: a second tutor for the NEWTs class, a second disciplinarian to assist Minerva, a second researcher for Snape's side business making medical potions. The split in duties led in turn to both of them being calmer, and more pleasant, and cleaner.
It was only when Remus woke from a dream of two Snapes having sex with him that he knew matters had gotten out of hand.
*****
They still had two Snapes when it came time to consider textbooks. Of course the meeting was the morning after Remus had dreamt of the three of them in bed, making it almost impossible to concentrate as they spoke. One Snape critiqued the Potions texts, the other the Dark Arts curriculum.
The Snape who substituted when Remus was ill waved a paperback book at Minerva "How can I use this in my classroom? The information is sound, but the title?"
Remus flushed as he recognized Defense Against the Dark Arts for Dummies. "We get a 20% author's discount, you know."
*****
Remus was working on revising his syllabus to omit DADA for Dummies when someone knocked on the door. He was more than a little surprised to see one of the Snapes waiting for him.
"Yes?"
"I came for advice." The Snape slid in past him uninvited. "Minerva has informed me that the students are confused by two identical professors. She has asked us to cease dressing alike."
"And?"
"She suggested that I ask you for advice on changing my appearance, at least in the classroom." The Snape ran his fingers through short, neatly combed hair. "Well?"
Remus' throat went dry.
*****
"Why are you the one who has to change his appearance?" Remus stood aside as the Snape entered. "Did you flip a galleon?"
"Of course not." The Snape wore a soft lambs wool jumper and tailored trousers. "He can do as he pleases. So can I."
"But - you spoke in unison. You acted as one." Remus shut the door and warded it. "He hates me. You're coming to me for advice. What is going on?"
"Not hiding in my classroom, or his." The Snape came close, traced the line of Remus' jaw. "Doing what he's afraid to do. Remus."
*****
Remus shivered at the intent, almost exploratory touch. "Severus - "
"We - I followed you and your friends because I wanted to see more of you." Severus was so very, very close. "I still do."
"You both hate my book. You outed me." Remus brought up his own hand to touch that lean face. "Your classroom sessions on werewolves - "
"You aren't your book." Severus' fingers were warm, so warm. "He can't get past what happened in school. Can you?"
The skin under the jumper quivered at his touch. Remus leaned upward for a kiss. "Yes. Oh yes."
*****
The duplication had not been perfect; this Severus had fewer scars and tighter muscles than the original, at least on the parts that had been covered by the jumper. Remus was thoroughly engrossed in them when the door to his parlor burst open.
"Lupin! I've found the way to reverse the - what is going on?" Snape, a pristine copy of Arithmancy for Dummies in one hand, froze as he saw his double and Remus rolling about almost naked on the hearth rug. "Stop that at once!"
Severus paused, then resumed what he had been doing. "Sod off," he growled.
*****
"Sod off? Why, you impertinent - "
"Id? Superego?" Severus flipped the bird at his double. "Just because I'm not afraid to be stripped bare in all ways - "
"Just a minute." Remus sat up and pointed at the book. "You want to reintegrate and Severus doesn't? And you think Arithmancy for Dummies is the solution?"
"Yes and yes!"
"Not until he's willing to act like a normal human being. Until then, no." Severus smiled sweetly at his twin. Snape glared back.
Remus groaned. "What am I going to do with you two?"
"I have some ideas - "
*****
"Well?" Remus held up the book. "You both said you had ideas. What are they? And what does this mean for - " He gestured at himself. "At least part of you just started to seduce me. Will you go back to insulting me?"
Snape had the grace to look abashed. Severus glared at him. "You know we fancy him. Why did I have to do something about it?"
"Because - " Snape sat down. "You may have a point."
"And if we reintegrate?"
"I would be willing to compromise."
"Compromise?" said Remus. "If that's all I am - "
*****
"Compromise? Absolutely not!" Severus cupped Remus' face in his hands even as he snarled at his twin. "You may be afraid but I'm not."
"I'm not a coward. I'm being sensible." Snape, trembling slightly, knelt beside the couple. "If this doesn't work, we've exposed ourselves for nothing! It's too much of a risk."
Remus took one hand from each Snape. The few minutes he'd had with Severus had been a revelation.
"Arithmancy for Dummies isn't? Oh, Severus - " he kissed one man " - Snape -" he kissed the second, who flinched " - don't be afraid - " *****
The ritual was simple, according to Arithmancy for Dummies: the "separated souls" stripped to the skin, drank a potion, and let an equally skyclad person cast a protective circle about them. They would be rejoined as the caster chanted a complex spell.
Severus had been reluctant, but after a private meeting both Snapes agreed that they wanted to be one. And so they had come to this: a warded room, a chalk circle, and three naked men, two so alike they could be twins.
The circle glowed as the Snapes stepped inside. Remus raised his wand and began to chant.
*****
The circle had clouded over as the chant Snape had found in Arithmancy for Dummies rose to a climax and ended. Remus lowered his wand and waited. What now? Which personality would be dominant? And would whomever emerged still want a middle-aged werewolf?
The clouds swirled as a single figure emerged: long dark hair, long slim fingers, calm dark eyes. Remus took a step forward. "Severus?'
The man smiled. It was a quiet smile, but it made him beautiful. "Remus."
Remus felt a weight lift from his heart. "Welcome back."
Severus leaned in to kiss him. "I was never gone."