azure_rosa (azure_rosa) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2009-11-04 22:44:00 |
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Current mood: | anxious |
Standing Outside the Fire, part one
Title: Standing Outside the Fire
Pairings: Snape/Lupin (explicit) and Harry/Hermione/Draco (implied only)
Rating: NC-17 eventually. Brought to you by Dizilla who convinced me I could write porn, Thanks Diz!
Author: azurerosa
Summary: How does a Gryffindor court a Slytherin until he wants to be part of his life?
Betas: canon_fire helped me with word choice and Brit picking and Ellie helped not only make this coherent, but also much more colorful in descriptions. Both deserve chocolate cake and the naked, sexy man of their choice!
Original prompt: "In hindsight I should have realized he was courting me much earlier than I did. If I was that blind during the war I would have been killed instantly." Post-war, R&S have become friends and routinely visit each other whenever possible. One of them (you choose) decides to court the other. However, neither of our boys are much for the grand gestures or are good at just coming out and saying they are interested. Method is up to you. UST would be applauded, quote does not need to be used merely a jumping point and PLEASE no "I've loved you forever" BS. They can have had a crush on the other (mutual or one-sided), but I think they don't know each other enough to be in love before they are friends.
AN: Yes Ladies and Gentlemen I took my own prompt. The bunny was eating my brain.
Disclaimer: Neither the songs nor the characters are mine, but I think the boys have more fun with me than their creator so there. Sources and songs used will be listed at the end.
Warning: wall-frottage, food smut thoughts, slash, Harry/Hermione/Draco (implied only), some mild D/S, mild bondage, mild exhibition, dirty talk, Alpha growling Remus, a mellowed but still snarky Severus, Remus trying to be sneaky, domestic scenes, Teddy, clichés abound, quasi-song fiction, songs in question are Country, playing fast and loose with The Deathly Hollows and it’s epilogue but frankly who in our community doesn’t? Also I’m new so con-crit is applauded!
Notes: Thanks to _Lore, Ellie, canon_fire, Rosy, Dizilla and everyone else who gave me advice, listened to me whine about writer’s block, gave me encouragement and helped me break through said writer’s block several times.
Lupin always was a predictable creature. I think that was one of the main reasons I finally decided he was bearable to have around. He was familiar so I never had any trouble reading him, but he still was intelligent enough to be interesting. After the war he was presumed dead. I could have told them otherwise, but I was in a coma at the time caused by the wretched combination of blood loss and poison. My distant cousin, Poppy, only realized he was not dead when she saw him twitch and groan when he was moved from the Great Hall. Idiots. Werewolves are so feared precisely because they are so frustratingly hard to kill. Poppy did point out to me during my two weeks under her tender care that I am nearly as hard to kill.
All my planning barely kept me alive long enough to be rescued by my house elf, Loki, when he was summoned by Lucius. He told Loki about me going into the shack and that The Dark Lord’s plans for me likely included a slow and painful death. I was quickly rescued, but likely the only reason Poppy bothered with me was because I was kin. She was unaware of my duplicity at the time.
Lucius committed suicide one month after the battle. Just enough time to rewrite his will in such a way his wife and son could not lose their inheritance. His detractors claimed his reasoning everything between a desperate desire to be with his Lord again to shame over losing face with the world. I know him somewhat better and understand that since the Malfoy family was to be tried as a whole if he was with them they all would have been sentenced to death. As it was they got off lightly due to a strong sympathy vote. Draco and Narcissa managed to escape Azkaban by visibly turning on the Dark Lord during the final battle. This of course greatly helped their case though their wealth was much diminished by the legal struggle and fines The Ministry imposed on them.
After the war The Ministry had to arrest nearly half of its staff after they openly embraced the Dark Lord during what the Prophet had so brilliantly dubbed “The Final Battle”. The head of the hydra that is the Weasley family is now head of the department of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. Percival ended up in a position I suspect was invented for him personally. He is paid a rather substantial sum and does the paper work for all the head of departments and the Minister himself. Currently Kingsley is the Minister and I suspect the mastermind behind Percival’s job as I know the man despises paperwork. So far our new Minister has repealed or reworded numerous laws so they could not be abused or cause such a division in our society again. He holds the dubious honour of being the first Minister of Magic that I, and it seems most of the magical world, approve of as he hasn’t screwed up yet.
But back to the subject of Lupin; we had burnt out our, well mostly my, animosity towards each other soon after the mangy mutt managed to be killed by drapery. Shouting matches containing accusations after a long day tend to have a cathartic effect on those involved. A much calmer discussion the next day with practically groveling apologies on his part and awkwardly muttered contriteness on mine lead to a birth of mutual respect. Lupin had no special knowledge of my alleged betrayal beforehand, but he was curiously easy to convince of my innocence after Potter revealed my allegiance whilst duelling my former master.
I lost my voice entirely for six months and even five years later it’s not what it was. Of course my favorite thing about myself is the one part of me irreparably damaged. As soon as I was fit to leave the hospital wing Loki came to collect me and take me back to Spinner’s End. I retired from teaching, but not before Poppy informed me she expected to continue to stock her infirmary with my potions and gave me a list of potions she was low on. I noticed most of the list was comprised of potions she had used to keep me amongst the living. I retreated to Spinner’s End to serve my house arrest until a trial could be arranged. Less than a month later I had the beginnings of a promising owl order apothecary up and running.
Lupin still insisted on collecting his potion in person so he could thank me for my effort. He greatly abused the fact I couldn’t tell him where to shove it when he started lingering and having one-sided conversations with me. Contrary to popular opinion I, like most humans, am a social creature. I merely like to have control over when, where, how much and with whom I interact. Lupin elbowing his way in with a little baby boy with psychedelic hair in tow was not exactly welcomed with open arms, but after a month of not hearing anyone’s voice but Loki it was… comforting to not be alone. Of course the foolish creature took the lack of hexing, forcible removal from my property or other bodily harm as an open invite to visit whenever he had time.
Thankfully several months later Potter had finally learned to use his fame as opposed to being used by it, which was very useful to a number of people. He defended my actions so vehemently that I was soon released from my house arrest and acquitted of all charges. Potter also managed to have Lupin reinstated as the DADA Professor thus taking up much of his free time. Better him than me. Potter broke it off with Ms. Weasley about a year after the war. He opted eventually to return to Hogwarts as the Care of Magical Creatures professor after Hagrid retired to care for his half brother Grawp. Thus he retired from the public eye, as Dumbledore had before him, following his defeat of Grindelwald. As much as he could, at least, short of becoming a hermit.
By the time my voice returned my business was in full swing and was growing steadily. It grew so steadily that I hired Draco as my assistant when I opened my store, Subtle Science & Exact Art apothecary, in Hogsmeade a year after the war. His main job is to deal with the customers though he also assists with brewing after hours. On occasion when I’m brewing something that cannot be unsupervised, such as Wolfsbane, he hand carries Poppy’s order to her. At first he dreaded the prospect, but now he is almost eager for the excuse. I suspect either Poppy’s taken to telling him tales about me as a child or he’s acquired a beau at Hogwarts. That same year Lupin and I started meeting a bare minimum of once a week, usually on Friday, for tea and conversation. At about that time I was shamed into visiting my cousin and accidentally Minerva as well.
Minerva and I always had an odd relationship. She had been somewhat of a mentor to me since I joined the Hogwarts Staff. Though we rarely saw eye to eye we had a mutual respect for each other. We were not what most people would dub friends, but I acted towards her like a boy visiting his favourite maiden Aunt. We were both rather strict, controlled people with a compatible sense of humour. We often visited each other, especially when we were angry, because we both knew that the other would listen and not judge the other harshly for things said in anger. I was in my second year of teaching when my Mother was murdered by Father while he was intoxicated. Minerva acted as my confidant during that time. She became a surrogate mother figure for me and I became a beloved, if occasionally aggravating, son to her or so I had thought. It seemed I had not been absolved of Albus’ murder despite my trial’s ruling as far as Minerva was concerned as I had neither seen nor heard from her since the end of the war which distressed me greatly though I could not blame her.
My visit with Poppy coincided with a drop off of her ordered potions for the infirmary. She usually manages to talk me into visiting over tea on such occasions. After dismissing Ms. Granger, her new assistant, for the evening Poppy started to spin an entertaining story about one of the more bizarre injuries she had encountered during her time at St Mungo's as an intern. Then Minerva entered the room. Poppy immediately stopped narrating and went very still. I took one look at Minerva’s blank face and decided I should leave before she recovered enough to either curse me or throw me out.
“Poppy as usual it has been a pleasure to speak with someone who agrees that most people are idiots at least some of the time. I’ll see you later.” I said with a small smile. I inclined my head in a slight bow toward Minerva without making eye contact, “Headmistress.” Then I proceeded towards Poppy’s fireplace hoping to escape before Minerva reclaimed her wits enough to tell me precisely what she thought of me. I had already thrown in the floo powder when she spoke.
“I don’t blame you for Albus’ death,” Minerva blurted out.
I froze mid-stride unsure I had heard correctly. I had felt sure she had vilified me like most everyone not directly involved in Albus’ stupid conspiracy. I stood my ground to hear my old comrade and confidant out, though I did not turn to face her, I was unsure I could maintain my mask of indifference if I did.
“It took me awhile to accept you had no other option.” She continued. “I am mad at Albus because of what he did to you not what you were forced to do to him.”
In my life time I have never adjusted to the truly indescribably wonderful feeling of being vindicated by someone for whom I truly care. It was not a common occurrence by any means as I can count on one hand the people whose opinion holds such power over me. My Mother before my Father murdered her in a drunken rage; Poppy, Minerva, Lily and Lupin are the only ones to ever possess that dubious honour.
I must assume I had a rather open and distressed expression for as soon as I turned to look at Minerva she threw herself at me in a fiercely protective hug. At some point Poppy must have approached for I remember being hugged by her as well.
All three of us stood there hugging each other for some time before my dignity refused to be quiet any longer and I pulled away. We all sat down together for tea and conversation for several hours. I felt safe, happy and loved for the first time since the war that day.
After three years of steady companionship Lupin finally got fed up with me not calling him by name. “Severus we’ve known each other since we were eleven and been friends for several years. You manage to call Teddy by name why not me?” I of course responded with a smug smirk and said, “I thought you’d never ask.” Remus needs to learn to assert himself more and if I can annoy him into action so much the better. Though Remus is much less of a tag along these days than he was before the mutt’s unfortunate but highly amusing death. Soon after Remus found his backbone he started abusing it by showing up to visit me without so much as a by-your-leave so, just to teach him a lesson, I returned the favour.
After five years of comfortable friendship Remus sent me a rather odd message.
Dear Severus,
If your schedule permits I would greatly appreciate your company tonight. There is something I feel is important for you to know. Something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while. If you are available tonight I would like you to come to my quarters for Dinner. Let me know ASAP. Please come.
Remus
Frankly he couldn’t have made me more curious if the professed a sudden desire to not only fly to the moon but set up permanent residence there. I tried to mask my concern in my return message which I penned and sent off as soon as I finished his with strict instructions to my black and gray owl, Persephone, to find Remus and not leave until he had responded.
Remus,
My schedule is my own to set these days as you well know. Therefore of course I can make myself available. Has something happened to you or Theodore? Do you need anything?
Severus
I admit freely that I couldn’t be bothered to brew while waiting to hear back from Remus. He and his son had become undeniably dear to me through the years. Less than an hour later, though it felt much longer, I received another unenlightening response.
Dear Severus,
I am pleased you can make it tonight. Teddy is his cheerful self and I am healthy. I merely have news I wish to share.
Remus
Well at least I knew he wasn’t dying, but he only said he was healthy after specifically stating Theodore was as always. Of course I received his second owl at seven in the morning so I had all day to come up with a multitude of bizarre and horrible things that could have happened. I took the floo to my shop and immediately sequestered myself in my work. I only managed to distract myself from my crack pot theories by brewing ten relatively low maintenance potions in bulk simultaneously.
Time seemed to move at a snail’s pace simply to aggravate me. I must have checked the time more often that day than I typically did in an entire year. Finally it was an hour before my requested appearance. I finished cleaning up my work station and took the floo back home. I trudged up stairs to shower and change out of my work clothes. Half an hour later I was ready to leave. I apparated to my shop in Hogsmeade then walked towards the castle and Remus’ rooms while worrying again about my friend.
Remus, like most Gryffindors, has a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve. I had in the past noticed he made “ceedees” containing music based on the mood he was in. For example he was especially fond of “It's a great day to be alive” when he was cheerful. I suspect it might have had something to do with the references to a lone wolf that was “harmless as can be” and howling at the moon.
As I approached Remus’ quarters I heard music and someone singing along through the door what sounded like a verse of a song I was unfamiliar with.
“Trust in me,
And you will find a heart so true.
All I want to do is give the best of me to you,
And stand beside you.
Just ask it will be done,
And I will prove my love,
Until you're sure that I'm the one.”
Remus was in love.
If I had to guess my reaction to that knowledge a week ago I would have assumed the typical friend reaction. I would be happy for him and only mildly annoyed about any disruption in our established pattern. Of course being happy for him would not save him from friendly ribbing on the subject. My actual reaction to that concept could not have been more different.
I felt like I’d just been sucker punched. My stomach suddenly lost all interest in food though I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and my throat felt swollen like it had when I was still healing from Nagini’s bite. It was a feeling I hadn’t encountered in many years, but I’d know it anywhere. I was suddenly, insanely jealous.
I stood outside his door for who knows how long trying to organize my thoughts and wrestle back my control. Remus had certainly waited long enough after his wife’s death to decide to have another relationship. Five years was plenty of time by anyone’s standards but who had caught his interest after all this time? His letter seemed to imply it had been going on for a while, but he hadn’t mentioned spending time with anyone besides me except… he wouldn’t! Potter was far too young! Especially after the fuss Remus had kicked up over Nympadora’s age. There was nothing for it, I was expected and I would tell Remus that I was happy for him even if it was not remotely true.
chapter 2
Tritt Travis - It's A Great Day To Be Alive (Remus’ happy song according to Severus)
Gary Allen - I'm The One (Song Severus over hears Remus singing)