Fic: (G). Riddikulus.
Title: Riddikulus. Author:Geek6 Rating: G Pairing: SS/RL Disclaimer: Not mine.. sadly. Wordcount: 293 approx.. Warning: Discussion of Mpreg. Notes: This is sort of a follow up on The Things You Do For Love. But you don't need to have read that. And just in case you doubt him, yes I've really seen that on the back of a van locally.
Cross posted on LJ.
Riddikulus.
“Oh, this is ridiculous!” Remus exclaimed. He sat up in bed and gave the lump under the covers next to him a jab. “It’s been a whole week, and if you’ve really had a potion resistant headache that long, Oh Great and Wonderful Potions Master, then it’s not a headache, it’s a bloody brain tumour and you should go to St Mungos.”
“Sod off,” the lump under the covers answered. “What would you know? You were crap at Potions.”
“Stop sulking, Severus, and talk to me. If this is still because I told you that you might have a litter of babies, then I swear to Merlin I’m going to be the one who opens your skull! And I shan’t be gentle about it either! I was joking, Severus, and I bloody well apologised.”
The lump moved and Severus’ head appeared from under the duvet. “You’ve apologised? You call laughing like a hyena and mumbling that you were only pulling my leg an apology?” he snapped.
“I’ll admit I shouldn’t have laughed. But if you could have seen your face, Sev - it was priceless!” Remus tried hard not to snicker at the memory.
“You may well laugh, you hairy swine, but I doubt I’ll ever get it up again! You’ve probably made me impotent for life.” Severus sat himself up and scowled at his husband. “No sex means no children, Remus, and it’s all your own fault.”
“Maybe I can help. I once worked for a company who fitted conservatories, you know, back in the days when I worked in Muggle London,” Remus grinned lecherously.
Severus stared at him in confusion. “And how exactly does that qualify you to help my problem?”
“The company slogan was, ‘We’re proud of our erections’.”