Fic: Conditional Victory - SS/RL - PG-13
Title: Conditional Victory Summary: Severus accuses Remus of cheating in a no-win scenario - Remus explains his perspective Rating: PG-13 Notes: Okay, this is the result of my desire to write Kirk!Remus/Spock!Severus. Hopefully it isn't too Out There. :D Warning for UST! :D
"You cheated."
Remus turned at the sound of the deep, dark voice, knowing who it was well before he turned and received the full impact of Lt. Commander Snape's glare. He leaned back against the door of his locker, unwilling to show any sign of weakness despite the fact that he was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
"I used my wits to devise an... alternative scenario," he countered. He would have crossed his arms over his chest, but that might have been taken as being defensive, so instead he simply examined the fingernails of one hand, as though unconcerned with the snarky Vulcan's opinion. "That's called ingenuity."
"You hacked into the main database and changed the parameters of the program." Snape stepped closer, his dark eyes intense in his pale face. He was taller than Remus, and he scowled down at him along the impressive length of his nose, as though he could intimidate Remus into admitting wrongdoing. "You enabled a win in a no-win scenario. That is cheating."
Remus drew in a breath, feeling the warmth radiating from Snape's body, as intense as sunlight against his bare skin. Vulcan was a hot planet, and while Snape was only half-Vulcan his body temperature was far warmer than human. It was only one of the intriguing differences between them; differences that fascinated Remus, arousing his interest. As well as other things.
"It depends on your definition of cheating," he murmured, forcing his mind back to the subject at hand. "Personally, I don't believe in no-win scenarios."
That, at least, was the truth. Remus had been through too many things in his life, had fought too hard to get where he was to lie about something so trivial. He'd had to fight, almost since the day he'd been born, and it meant that he simply couldn't live with a situation where he knew he had to lose. He'd settle for a draw when he had to - and too many times that had been what had ended up happening - but with the simulator test he figured that it was just as easy to put in a winning end-game as one that only allowed an escape.
"You have missed the point of the exercise!" Snape insisted. He was close enough now that Remus could feel his breath, ruffling the damp curls of his hair. Snape didn't seem to notice, too intent on trying to argue Remus into submission. "The goal is not to win, the goal is to realize that command of a star ship can and does lead to situations where you will face death, and you have to be prepared to do so in a calm, rational manner, without panicking. Only then can you be certain you will make the best decisions you can, to save as many people as possible even when you cannot save them all... or even save yourself."
The focus on Snape's face, the intensity, was completely fascinating, and Remus couldn't tear his eyes away. So many people he knew seemed to be merely going through the motions, acting out whatever plans they'd made without really seeming to pursue their goal with any passion. Vulcans were supposed to be emotionless, but there was more passion in Lt. Commander Snape than Remus had seen in anyone else of his acquaintance, human, Vulcan, or even Orion. It drew him, calling to the passion within him like a moth to a flame.
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?" Remus asked, straightening up and taking a half-step closer to Snape. "Does it all come down to numbers, then? Cold, rational, with no feeling and no recourse? Die because it is the logical thing to do?"
"Precisely," Snape nodded. He raised a brow. "If you understand that, then why did you cheat?"
"Because utilitarianism is bullshit." Remus smiled, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "I prefer Dylan Thomas." At Snape's frown of confusion, Remus continued, his tone soft, and he took another step forward.
"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Snape blinked as Remus finished, as though be released from a spell. He seemed surprised to find Remus barely foot away, but he didn't step back.
"How very human," Snape said, but his tone lacked its earlier edge.
"I am human," Remus replied. He wanted to reach out and touch Snape, to feel that warm skin under his fingers, to see if Snape was as hard as he tried to pretend he was. Snape was staring into his eyes, and for a moment Remus thought the Vulcan had read his desire there, for he seemed to lean closer, the distance between them narrowing down until barely an inch separated their lips. Something hovered between them, unspoken, a yearning, a recognition of sameness, of two halves circling toward a completion.
There was a noise from the entrance, voices raised in conversation, trivial and mundane. Silently Snape pulled back, the spell between them broken, and Remus wanted to groan in frustration. But he kept silent, not pulling away, simply looking at Snape with a challenge in his eyes. I want you.
"I noticed," Snape replied. Then he turned on his heel and stalked away.
Remus watched him go, resisting the urge to call after him. He wanted to know - needed to know - if Snape had been answering the words he'd voiced, or the ones he hadn't. He wanted it more than he'd wanted to win the Kobayashi Maru - and he had a feeling that if he were ever to really face a no-win situation, the way he felt about Severus Snape might finally be it.