OMG that is WAY better than plain old fic! BWAHAHAAHAAAA! Ballcock. *snerk* You just save up words like this, don't you. All the different alliterative epithets had me rolling, and you used a different one every time. I think my favorite part tho was the disapproving gentleman ranting about 'next we'll be marrying garden furniture!' I also loved that he was bent out of shape over the class/status difference rather than the same sex.
This... this should be turned into a video. Like one of those 5-minute gossip shot things on the entertainment networks. Man, a mix of live-action interviewer spliced with bits from the movies. Heh. (Yes, of course I'm blue-skying here, but I can actually see it in my head. And it's funny there.) XD