Disclamer: The characters are JKR’s—I’m just playing with them.
Summery/Prompt: Long prompt#24—R is the leader of a werewolf pack (living like humans, please!), S brews Wolfsbane for them (other medical work/brewing a plus). New arrival of a feral werewolf, turns out to be Draco - R and S must rehabilitate him. Any rating OK.
A/N: This has not been beta’d. This is a postwar fic and is AU after book five. Severus never had to kill Dumbledore and neither Severus nor Remus dies in the war, obviously. Remus never hooked up with Tonks either. Enjoy!
The Heart
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.”
Poem by Stephen Crane
Because It Is My Heart
Remus woke slowly, bowing his back in a good stretch as he squinted through the early morning light. He relaxed with a sigh and turned on his side, propping his head on a hand as he smiled at the sight before him. Remus would never say it out loud for fear of magical castration, but Severus was absolutely adorable when he slept.
The potions master was sprawled across most of the bed, one narrow foot sticking out from underneath the handmade quilt that covered them, one arm flung back above his head. Severus’s hair was tangled and strands of it were sticking to his lips. Remus reached over and pulled the hair away.
This relaxed version of Severus was quite different from the tense, untrusting man that Severus had been just a year ago. When they’d first started sleeping together, actually sleeping, not just stopping in for a quick shag and leaving before the glow had passed, Severus had been stiff even in sleep and unwilling to engage in anything as juvenile as “spooning”. Remus had been patient though. Severus still had horrible nightmares and the occasional flashback, but he was doing much better. A year living in peace and quiet had done a world of good.
Running a finger a long Severus’s stubbled jaw, Remus knew he was happy, truly happy for the first time in far too long. He had a partner in Severus, a home that they shared, and a community, however small, of people who respected him.
Despite Remus’s work during the war, many of the werewolves had joined Voldemort. In the end they had been decimated, hunted down and killed regardless of affiliation. Once the dust had settled and the ministry had rescinded the kill-on-sight edict, many of the werewolves decided that they had had enough of the ministry. Those that could came together in small packs, like this one, and moved away from the now overt bigotry and prejudice.
Remus sighed, turning over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Some things, he knew, would never change. People would always fear the “other”.
A sudden knock on the front door startled Remus. It was quite early, only just after dawn. Remus glanced at Severus, but the man had only scrunched his brow in an adorable pout and curled on his side, burying his head in his pillow. Remus decided to only wake the man if it was an emergency—Severus was decidedly not a morning person and Remus would only risk the wrath of the beast if the situation was dire. Slipping out of bed, Remus pulled on a pair of trousers as the knock sounded again.
“Coming, coming,” Remus muttered as he walked quickly down the hall, pulling on a shirt. He passed through the sitting room and finally pulled open the front door.
“Carson? What’s wrong?”
A slight boy with dark, curly hair grabbed Remus’s arm and started to pull him through the door.
“Ian caught someone stealing from the smokehouse—Remus, it’s a feral!”
Remus stopped, eyes wide, and Carson released his arm. Ferals were rare; Remus had only seen one before, during the war. Plenty of werewolves were part-feral, Grayback and his lot had been, but Grayback had been caught and executed six months ago and rumor had it that the last of his pack had been caught and killed by dark market profiteers out for werewolf parts.
“Are they in the Hall?” Remus asked.
“Yes, they took him there straight away. Ian was having a hard time of it, before Laura used her wand to tie him.”
“Alright. Wake Severus, would you?” Remus turned and quickly started towards the Hall, smiling when Carson called him a coward for leaving him to wake Severus on his own.
Remus jogged the short distance to the Hall, a long, empty building with a large porch that sat in the middle of the clearing. They used it as a meeting place for the pack. The clearing was in the middle of a forest in Scotland, far from any neighbors, wizard or muggle. Seven modest houses surrounded the clearing. Harry had donated the money used to set up the small settlement and Remus couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
Approaching the Hall, Remus noticed the disturbed dirt where there had been a struggle. He quickly went to the double doors and quietly eased one open. The moment Remus stepped through he heard the growls of a very unhappy werewolf.
Striding across the long room, Remus dodged the few tables and chairs, coming to the three people crowding the far corner. Laura, a thirty-two year old, slim, red-headed witch stood with her wand out but rested at her side. She was dressed in a light blue robe. Her husband Ian, a tall blonde, broad-shouldered man stood next to her cradling an injured arm. He had forgone the robe and wore only his trousers and a light shirt. Together they kept a young man trapped in the corner.
The man was crouched low, resting on the balls of his feet, his hands braced on the floor in front of him, his whole body tense and ready to flee. The clothes that covered him were filthy. He was wearing an oversized long-sleeved shirt that was ripped in several places and so dirty that it was impossible to tell the original color. He also wore rough jeans that were too large on the thin frame. His blonde hair was long, ending half way down the man’s back, and was matted and just a grimy as the rest of him. Though his face was partially hiding by the mass of hair, Remus could see two bright blue eyes peering out nervously.
Remus placed a hand on Ian’s shoulder.
“Are you alright?”
“The little bastard broke my arm,” Ian replied with a frown. The young man on the floor growled again deep in his chest, scrunching himself even farther into the corner. As Remus watched he could see that the man was trembling and panting, his eyes scanning back and forth restlessly.
“I had tied him,” Laura said, “but he was hurting himself, so I released him. He seems to be afraid of my wand, of magic, so he’s been easy enough to manage without casting anything.”
“Alright, thank you. Ian, why don’t you go and get that arm looked at? Severus should be awake by now. Laura, you can go with him, I can handle this. Tell Severus what’s happened.”
Ian nodded and started towards the door. The man in the corner tensed as if to spring. Remus moved to stand directly in front of him. The man looked up, meeting Remus’s gaze in challenge. Remus stood his ground, his eyes never leaving those of the man crouched in front of him. Laura paused and said,
“He’s very frightened, Remus. There’s no telling how desperate he’ll become.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Send Severus over when he’s done with Ian, will you?”
“Of course.”
Laura briefly touched Remus’s arm then turned and left. Remus waited until he heard the door shut. His gaze remained focused on the bright blue of other man’s eyes as Remus slowly lowered himself to the man’s level, making sure to keep himself braced incase the man attacked. The young man’s breathing had quickened and he was twitching with indecision. Remus waited patiently. He didn’t have to wait long.
The man rocketed forward, but Remus was ready. He used the man’s momentum to roll them back and completely over, so Remus ended up on top. The young man was clawing, kicking and biting, bucking as hard as he could in an effort to get Remus off. Remus stayed firm, straddling the young man and capturing his hands at the wrists to pin them above the man’s head. The man continued to struggle, but he was quickly exhausted. Remus could feel the man’s bones—he was far too thin and Remus was much stronger.
The young man lay under Remus panting and trembling violently. He whined and Remus saw tear-trails forming through the dirt on his skin as the man turned his head to the side, exposing his neck to Remus.
A part of Remus was horrified at what he was doing—this man was obliviously overwhelmed, but Remus knew what the mind of the wolf needed. He leaned down, sniffing the man’s neck. There was something familiar about the man’s scent, beneath the smell of forest and pain.
The man stiffened as if to resume his struggles but Remus quickly bit down just over the carotid artery—enough to hurt but not break the skin. The man whined again, briefly trying to free his arms but Remus increased the pressure of his bite and the man finally relaxed, submitting completely. Remus held the bite a few moments longer to emphasize his control, but eventually relaxed his jaw, making a face at the taste of filth left in his mouth from the young man’s skin.
He kept the man pinned to make sure he was done fighting. When the man just lay there limply Remus removed himself completely. The man immediately twisted away from Remus and curled up on his side before taking a shuddering breath. Remus stayed crouched next to the man but did not touch him, letting the man have a moment of peace. As Remus watched the young man calm down, he wondered at the man’s familiar scent.
It was hard to tell, but he guessed that the man was an inch or two taller than he was. If his hair were clean, it would be a nearly platinum blonde. Remus froze. That reference was all it took for the misplaced scent to click in Remus’s mind. He crawled around to the man’s front and gently brushed the man’s hair away from his face. Though the man flinched away Remus had seen enough to confirm his identity. This man was Draco Malfoy.
Severus groaned and wormed himself deeper under the blankets when he heard Remus talking to someone at the front door. Hadn’t he bloody well told whole lot of these damn werewolves not to disturb them until after he’d had his coffee? It was bloody inconsiderate.
Severus rolled to the side of the bed, preparing to pry himself from its depths. Having a good lie-in was one thing he let himself indulge in. At Hogwarts he was often up before dawn, especially in his last few years as a spy. Now that he answered to no one but himself and there was not a castle full of unruly brats to worry about he refused to get up before seven thirty.
He did not notice the presence of another until a tentative voice dared disturb the quiet.
“Um…Severus?”
Severus’s eyes snapped open and he launched himself out of the bed, flinging his dressing gown over his naked shoulders as he went. Who knew that a couple of years out of danger would ruin all the skills he’d acquired as a spy? He heard a giggle and turned around sharply, glaring at the offender, who stood just inside the doorway.
Carson immediately quieted, biting his lips together hard so as not to laugh at the sight of the usually sharp-witted potions master in such disarray. Severus’s boxers were riding low on his narrow hips, his dressing gown was on, but inside-out, and his hair on the right side was half stuck to his face, half sticking up in a tangled mess.
Severus, realizing he couldn’t shout the string of curses and hexes he would have liked, instead settled for the more mild,
“Out!”
Carson backed up quickly into the hall, still trying not to laugh. He knew Severus well enough to take his vitriol with a grain of salt. Severus stomped over to the door.
“And make me some coffee!” Slamming the door, Severus stumbled his way over to the bathroom, still not entirely awake despite his shouting, and started the shower.
Ten minutes later Severus exited the bathroom fully awake but in no better a mood. He had dressed in dark green, medium-weight robes. His hair, recently cut, was chin length, wet, and curling slightly at the ends. He stalked quietly out of the bedroom, his boots making only the slightest whisper of noise. Proceeding down the hall, Severus paused as he came into the open living/kitchen area of the house.
He watched Carson sitting at the kitchen table, legs swinging and head in one hand, looking board and impatient. He was young, only eight years old, but Severus enjoyed the boy’s company to an extent. Carson had a sharp intellect and a willingness to learn that Severus appreciated. The boy was a muggle and he and Severus were the only non-werewolves in the pack. The boy’s mother had been a werewolf and a pack-member, but she had been sickly and had died only days before Severus came to live there.
Spying the coffee pot ready and waiting, Severus abandoned his observation of the boy in favor of his morning caffeine.
“Morning Severus. Guess what!”
Severus sighed bracing himself for a morning of question-and-answer. He poured his coffee and brought it to his face, inhaling the rich aroma before taking a bare sip. It was hot enough to scald, but Severus didn’t mind. Thus fortified, he turned and sat at the table across from Carson.
“What?”
“Ian caught a feral!”
Severus stood quickly and nearly dropped his cup.
“What?!”
Just then there was a quick knock at the door. Severus’s attention went there immediately, his wand in hand, but before he could make his way around the table the door opened and Laura stuck her head in.
“Oh, good. Severus, Ian’s broken his arm—do you mind?”
“Of course not.” Severus scowled and waved the couple in. Laura and Ian entered, Ian gingerly cradling his left arm. Severus ushered Ian to the kitchen table, having the blonde many sit in the straight-backed wooden chair. He quickly and gently felt Ian’s arm to test the severity of the break. Concluding that it wasn’t too serious, he went to fetch is bag from the study. As an afterthought, he threw over his shoulder,
“There’s coffee, if you want it.”
Severus walked quickly up the short hall to the door that sat directly across from their bedroom. The door opened onto a study. Severus had insisted on it—Remus had wanted to turn it into a guest room, but Severus had argued that there was no room in the small building out back, which served as his positions lab, for all his books. Needless to say, Severus had won and now his books lined the walls of the room, along with two desks, both covered with papers and quills.
Severus grabbed his medical bag from a chair and started back to the kitchen. Though he held no certificate, Severus knew plenty about the healing arts. It had been useful throughout his life, even more so now that he lived with the pack. Though they could apparate or floo to a hospital if it was needed, it was much more convenient to have an onsite healer. Not to mention that it was now within the law for hospitals to refuse to treat werewolves, or to “put them down” if their condition was “critical”. Severus wouldn’t trust a sick cat with most of the healers in practice today.
Returning to the living room, Severus set his bag down on the table next to Ian. Laura had taken Carson across the room to sit in front of the fire, to give the men some space. Severus gently took Ian’s arm in hand and started a scan.
“What’s this I hear about you catching a feral?”
Ian glanced across the room at Carson, but the boy was turned away listening to whatever Laura was saying.
“Don’t know for sure that he’s a true feral. Caught him trying to steal meat out of the smoke house. He’s the one who broke my arm. I was trying to get him into the Hall. Laura had to use her wand to tie him before we could get him through the door.”
“Is Remus there now?”
“Yeah, he asked to be left alone with the boy.”
Laura spoke up from across the room, “Remus wants you to go there, when you’ve finished with Ian.”
Severus nodded and finished his scan. He opened his bag and pulled out a large vile of a milky-white potion.
“Your arm is fractured. Drink this and refrain from using that arm for the rest of the day. It should be fine by tomorrow.”
Ian nodded and quickly downed the foul tasting bone-mending potion. Severus conjured a large piece of cloth from a bit of thread pulled from his robes and expertly wrapped Ian’s injured arm in the sling.
“I was under the impression that feral werewolves are very rare.”
“That’s true,” Ian said. “The thing is, it’s hard to tell whether or not a werewolf’s a true feral. There are plenty of weres out there that are part feral—all of Greyback’s pack was. A werewolf can choose to go part feral, to hide behind the mind of the wolf, but it takes heavy trauma to turn a were completely feral. Once that happens, there’s no coming back from it—the human mind is lost.”
“I see.”
Severus closed his bag. He glanced at Laura and Carson who were still over by the fire talking. To Ian, he said,
“I’m going to Remus. You’re welcome to stay here until we return.”
“No, we’ll go back to our own place. Come to us if you need any help.”
“Of course.”
Laura, having heard the last part of the conversation, took Carson by the hand and led him to the door. Ian stood and joined them. Severus followed, bag in hand. Carson tried to pull out of Laura’s grasp.
“I want to go with Severus!”
“You’ll come and eat breakfast with us. Perhaps you can visit Severus later.”
Carson sighed and rolled his eyes. Severus lightly smacked the back of his head.
“Go with Laura.”
“Fine.”
Ian and Laura led Carson to their home, a few dozen yards away. Severus watched them for a moment then turned towards the Hall and strode quickly across the yard.
When he arrived at the Hall, Severus paused at the door, leaning in to listen for any disturbance inside. He could hear nothing. He raised a fist and knocked quietly. Severus waited tensely, wand in hand. Finally after several minutes, Severus heard Remus say,
Remus stared at the blue eyes that stayed submissively downturned. Draco was still curled up on his side, his arms held tight to his chest as if to give himself some small bit of comfort.
Remus’s knee started to protest the crouched position he was still in so he eased back to sit on the cool wooden floor. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, running a hand over his face and pressing his fingers into his eye sockets in a vain attempt to dispel the headache that was forming. Draco Malfoy had turned to the side of the Light near the end of the war. He had helped Severus maintain his cover as a spy for months, and then helped with creating potions after their duplicity had been discovered. They had both been lucky to have evaded capture, but that luck had not lasted.
Draco had been captured two weeks before the end of the war. As far as they could tell, the boy had gone out into the forbidden forest, for unknown reasons, in the middle of the night. Though Severus, Remus, and surprisingly Harry, had searched for Draco they had found nothing and the Order, sans Severus, assumed that Draco was dead.
Severus had taken Draco’s disappearance hard. He had become close to the boy, and felt it was his fault for not being more attentive. Though they had not been together yet at the time, Remus had tried to convince Severus that he was not to blame but Severus had always been stubborn.
After the final battle, when all of Voldemort’s hide outs had been cleaned out and all living prisoners freed without any sign of Draco, Severus had despaired. Finally, after several months , Remus heard rumors that Draco Malfoy had been seen traveling with Grayback’s pack. He had told Severus and they had searched for awhile, becoming closer to one another as time went on. Eventually they’d had to give up the search as the aurors in charge of locating Grayback’s pack were stonewalling them and threatening them with obstruction of justice.
When Remus thought about it he realized that he and Severus were together today because of the young man before him. It was the search for Draco that had brought them together.
Three quick knocks broke through the Hall. Remus’s eyes went to Draco, who had quickly gotten back into a crouch. His eyes were flashing back and forth, looking for somewhere to hide. He tried to bolt for the back of the Hall but Remus grabbed him before he’d gotten very far.
Draco let out a low keening moan and tried to wrench away from Remus. Remus got a good grip on the rags Draco wore before bringing his right hand up to seize Draco’s hair, right at the back of his neck as a mother wolf would do to her pups. Draco still struggled, trying to push Remus away. Remus shook the young man hard enough to get his attention. Draco whined and stilled, but his muscles stayed taught as a bow string. Making sure that he had a good grip on Draco, Remus called to the person outside the door.
“Come in.”
The door swung open and Draco went ridged. Remus bent his head to Draco’s ear, whispering calming words. Draco was practically hyperventilating and with no other place to hide, he started working his way into Remus’s lap. Remus allowed it, keeping one hand firmly at Draco’s nape, wrapping the other around Draco’s shoulders once the young man had settled with his face hidden against Remus’s neck. Remus watched as Severus came into the room slowly, shutting the door behind him. He stayed there analyzing the situation and waiting for some sign from Remus that it was safe to come closer.
Draco was still trembling in Remus’s lap, but had seemingly resigned himself to Remus’s mercy. Draco’s hands were clenched in Remus’s shirt and Remus could feel wetness on his neck—tears. Remus loosened his grip on Draco’s hair and gently stroked the matted head. He looked up at Severus and motioned him over with a nod.
Remus watched as Severus approached and knelt in front of him and Draco, setting his bag to one side. Remus continued to stroke Draco’s hair and rub comforting circles on his back. Severus pulled out his wand and started to run a scan, chanting the incantation that would reveal any serious injury. Draco whimpered and tried his best to burrow deeper into Remus’s chest. Severus grimaced at what the scan revealed.
“This man is obviously suffering from malnutrition. He has several deep contusions and lacerations, as well as several burns. There are bones that were broken and have healed improperly. He suffers from worms and a mild case of scurvy. Of course there is the lycanthropy…”
Severus paused and Remus could see the surprise in his eyes.
Severus froze for a split second, eyes wide. Could it be true? Draco had been missing for over a year and half. Severus took a good look at the man currently huddled in his lovers lap. He was certainly tall enough…and that long blonde hair. Severus quietly moved to Remus’s side, trying to get a glimpse of the man’s face. The man was hiding against Remus’s neck and his hair had fallen to obscure his features completely. Severus reached out to brush the hair back. The young man tried to twist away but Remus easily kept him in his grip. Gently, Remus grasped the man’s chin and turned his face towards Severus.
The moment Severus saw his face he knew that it was Draco. The boy would not look him in the eye, but Severus would know the blue of those eyes and the shape of that face anywhere. Draco’s face was filthy like the rest of him and his beautiful, long hair was matted and littered with twigs and debris. It made him look at once younger and older than his years.
It was odd. Severus had never given up hope that Draco was alive. He was convinced that if Voldemort had killed Draco he would have found the boy’s mutilated body on his doorstep. Voldemort was not one to keep his victories secret. Yet now that he had been proven right, now that Draco sat before him alive, Severus didn’t know what to feel. He should feel overjoyed that the boy had survived, relieved that someone he had come to care for had found their way back to him.
But as Severus looked at Draco’s huddled form, watched as tremors wracked the emaciated frame, all he felt was an overwhelming sadness coupled with the aching guilt that had plagued him since the day Draco had been taken. This was his fault. Draco had been reduced to a shadow of himself, had been infected with a curse that would plague him the rest of his life, and it was his fault. The boy could be feral, his sharp intelligence and cunning lost. What had the boy done to deserve this? If only he had been more attentive…
“Severus.”
Severus opened his eyes, surprised to find that he had buried his face in his hands. His chest felt heavy, his breath fighting to escape his lungs. He exhaled and drew in a deep, slow breath. It would not do to panic.
When he had regained his equilibrium, Severus looked up, directly into deep blue eyes. Draco was looking at him. They held eye contact for precious seconds before Draco looked away, turning his head to once again hide his face. That moment of eye contact was enough to ground Severus in the reality of the situation. This was Draco. By some inexplicable, merciful twist of fate, Draco had found his way home. Feral or not, Severus would do everything in his power to make sure that Draco had a future.
With one last deep breath, Severus stood. He looked down upon the two most important people in his life, one clinging to the other. He met Remus’s intense gaze with his own. Those eyes were filled with worry, compassion, and a fierce protectiveness. Severus knew that they would both be there for Draco, regardless of the difficulty of the road ahead. Together, the three of them would overcome this.
“Come. We should take him back to the house. His injuries are not life threatening and I’m sure Draco would appreciate some food and perhaps a bath.”
Remus smiled, patting Draco’s hair.
“That might be easier said than done, but we’ll see what we can do.”
End Part One
A/ N: This is my first fanfic, so I hope it wasn’t too bad! Just a warning: I don't think I'm going to finish this fic on time—it’s grown far beyond what I’d thought it would be, plus I’ll be in a wedding during the deadline—but rest assured, this fic will be completed. Promise. Hope you enjoyed this first part!