Fantasy Fest: Long Fic Prompt #34 Title: Dear Diary--Part 4 Rating: NC-17 Words: 2,744 (this part) Warnings: Sirius/Remus, realllllly bad timing Disclaimer: JKR made 'um, I just take them out to play. Prompt: 34 -- Fic written as the journal entries of R, S, or both for a year of their relationship. Any time period is great (first war, PoA, OotP, post-war AU?). Angst, UST, complications, first time maybe...but a feel-good fic overall. Notes: Because this fic is a journal, I'll be posting a few entries at a time. Enjoy!
Being on the platform today was frightening. I wanted to say an official goodbye to Severus, and to the freedom we had this summer, which we would never be able to have again. Unfortunately, the blasted Marauders caught my eye just as I was walking over to Severus and beckoned me to them. I nodded to Severus sadly and gave him a wink before I joined James, Sirius, and Peter. All I got in return from Severus was a scowl.
At the moment, Sirius and James are playing Exploding Snap as Peter snores obnoxiously. Sirius is making fun of me for writing at a time like this, the arse. You see, him and James write in their journals as little as is possible without getting a talk-to from Dumbledore. For me, however, this is more recreation than a task, and I could care less what they think (lie) so I’m writing no matter how much they make fun of me.
James is standing up, announcing that he has to go meet Lily in the Head Boy/Girl compartment, which means that I’m going to be alone with Sirius (and Peter, although sleepers don’t count) in a matter of seconds. Great, James is gone. Brilliant.
Oh shit. Sirius is moving towards me on the bench, asking what I’m writing about, looking over my shoulder, playing with my hair…
~~_-_~~
September 1, 1977 (Evening)
Dear Diary,
I hate fucking Sirius Black. After I wrote that bit about him playing with my hair, he took the diary out of my hands and threw it across the compartment. He then proceeded to take my face into his hands, backing me into a corner and kissing me far too hard. I tried shoving him off, but he’s a lot stronger than you might think.
Of course, it was at the exact moment that I pushed Sirius off that I saw Severus’ eyes glued to me. Fucking Sirius would never close the blinds before pulling a stunt like that. He couldn’t, it might require some brain usage. And of course, Severus just had to be passing by at the exact moment. After I caught his eye and looked at him pleadingly, begging him to understand, he glared and stormed off. I haven’t spoken to him yet, but I know I need to find him as soon as I can. He’ll understand what happened, I think, I hope. I just have to explain what went on.
Luckily, Sirius was too busy looking smug to notice Severus at all. I punched that smile off of his face when Severus walked away. I think I broke his nose; he started gushing blood, some of it splattered onto me. His eyes watered with pain but I left to find Severus before he could say anything or retaliate. Unfortunately, the train stopped and we were put into the carriages before I could spot Severus.
It’s also lucky that, because I humiliated him, Sirius has yet to tell James and Peter. I’m quite sure he won’t, because how could he brag about a situation in which his nose was broken?
Right now, I’m in my bed, curtains pulled shut, anticipating what exactly I’ll tell Severus. The truth, obviously, but how exactly to say it? Doesn’t matter. After all, I didn’t do anything wrong.
Anyhow, classes start tomorrow and I need to get some rest.
Sincerely,
Remus J. Lupin
~~_-_~~
September 4, 1977
Dear Diary,
Double Potions has saved my life. A whole year of being Severus’ partner…it’ll be wonderful. And a desk in the very back of the room, too. Perfect for hidden physical contact. Bless old Sluggy.
It’s so lucky for me that Slughorn actually put us together for the second year in a row. I assume that it’s because he’s too lazy to make new partners, but that’s absolutely, perfectly fine with me. Especially since it let me explain the Sirius situation with Severus in whispers that nobody could hear thanks to some spell he’s come up with that won’t allow people near you to hear your conversations. He calls it his ‘muffling spell’. He’s so clever; it’s really quite sexy.
Anyway, Severus actually, surprisingly, believed me about what happened, just as he should’ve. He told me that if Black ever tried to make the moves on me again, Severus himself would hex Sirius’ balls off. I feel guilty admitting that I’d really love it if Severus got the chance, even if he returned Sirius’ scrotum after a few hours. The bastard should be taught a lesson, which my punching him clearly didn’t teach.
He loves to touch me, especially in public. The innocent hand on my thigh, moving my hair off of my face, it makes me want to hex him. But I can’t and I won’t and I don’t, so he just keeps on doing it. I hope that one day, he has no balls.
I’m a horrible friend. What kind of person hopes that one of his very best friends gets his testicles hexed off? The same kind of friend who ditches his three best friends every night, pretending to ‘study’ as he gets it on with his secret boyfriend (who happens to be the archenemy of said friends), that’s who. That’s not the kind of friend I want to be, but it’s the kind I’m becoming. Especially as my feelings for Severus strengthen. He’s absolutely worth being a bad friend, no questions asked. I don’t know why I feel so strangly about him, I just do. And I honest to goodness think that he feels (almost) as strongly for me as I do for him, although he would never admit it.
I base my educated guesses about his feelings off facts, though, mind you. He hasn’t said anything, so I hope I’m not exaggerating for the sake of my own sanity. I hope I’m right; I don’t see how I couldn’t be. Severus smiles around me. Smiles. Who the hell else has seen him smile? I don’t see it often, obviously, but it’s sometimes there. Oh gosh, it’s a rare delicacy. It brightens up his usually harsh face beautifully; I wish he did it more often. Yeah right.
Also, Severus always finishes me off, if you catch my drift, even after he’s already come. When I was with Sirius, he told me that I was a big boy; I could handle it myself. True, but it wasn’t as if I wanted to. It’s common courtesy, if someone wanks you off, you return the favor, even if they are a werewolf and can last longer than you’d ever dream. Severus does it, no matter how long it takes. He always kisses me while he does it too, goodness, it’s such a sensation. His hand warm and tight on my cock, his tongue lapping at my neck. It makes me lose control completely and I love it.
Severus, on the other hand, never loses control. I can be biting his left nipple, playing with the right one in my hand, all while touching his cock or cradeling his balls. All the while, his hands are behind his head, his eyes shut tight, his breath even. I don’t know how he does it; being touched like that would immidately evoke a moan from me, but it doesn’t even affect him, or so it seems. Wven when he comes, he just bites his lower lip and softly grunts. I wail when he brings me off, usually yelling his name out. I hope that one day, he’ll reciprocate and scream for me. Not likely, but I can dream, can’t I?
And I do dream, almost nightly. I suppose that for a seventeen year old boy, getting off with Severus daily isn’t nearly enough action. I dream of Severus, of the two of us at it. He sometimes is replaced by Sirius, and sometimes I’m with both of them. Those blasted hormones.
Speaking of dreams, it’s getting rather late. Time to call it quits.
Sincerely,
Remus J. Lupin
~~_-_~~
September 13, 1977
Dear Diary,
Full moon tonight tonight. First of the school year; the Marauders are delighted though I obviously don’t really share their jubiolance. Full moons mean three things, none of them pleasant in the least: Immense pain, three days woth of classes missed, and avoidance of Severus for about a week (the time it takes for the new scars to fade slightly).
However, full moons a Hogwarts are far better than those at my home. At least the wolf gets to be free; no confinement besides during the initial transformation. I injure myself ten times less that way; I barely get cuts and bruises when I transform here.
That just happens to be really good news. Less cuts mean less pain and also mean less scars, which means less suspicion, and less stares. I love having less cut, it’s just so very convenient. It makes me happy.
Happier, I should say. I’m always in a pleasant mood these days, mostly due to Severus’ presence in my life. No matter how hard days are, whether the cause be school or my ‘friends’, I always have the nights to look forward to.
Except for tonight, speaking of. I really need to get to the Shack, it’s about to get dark.
Off to face my worst enemy,
Remus J. Lupin
September 23, 1977
Dear Diary,
I feel so incredibly devious, it’s insane. It makes me feel fantastic and horrible, all at the same time. What is it that makes you feel this way, Remus? you ask. I’ll tell you. I abused my teacher’s pet privileges today and asked Professor McGonagall for a schedule that’ll tell me when each classroom is empty of classes and study groups. I told her that my ‘study group’ wanted to meet some nights, and because we’re all from different houses, we’d need to have a definite, prearranged place to meet for each night of the week. She bought the lame story (though she was incredibly suspicious) and Accioed a schedule right then and there. I am a bad ass.
I thanked my very favorite teacher and left her office. I then copied the list and went to meet with my special ‘study partner’. We’d been meeting in the same classroom every other night since the beginning of the year, but sometimes there were staff meetings in said classroom and we’d had to find somewhere else on short notice. Not too difficult, but obnoxious nonetheless. Good news is, we’ll never have to do that again. Ever. Hurrah!
Anyway, I gave the copied schedule to Severus and the two of us decided on places and times. We chose to spice it up; not meet in the same room each night, but make it exciting and switch around. The whole process was very exciting.
The only problem with the meetings were that they left Severus and me very little time to be together, which is ironic because by meeting, we were spending time together. What I’m trying to say, though, is that by just meeting to fool around for an hour or less every few days, we’ll have no time to converse; it’ll just be a quick snog and wank, and that’s it.
Well, we’ll make it work. Which reminds me, Sirius is starting to act normal again; he no longer acts like I’m his property. He doesn’t get protective of me all the time, especially when I’m flirted with, nor does he try to kiss me constantly anymore. I still can’t believe he actually tried. But he’s through with that, which makes the two of us happier, I think. Unfortunately, though, with the loss of the annoying kisses, I’ve also lost most of his friendship. He only talks to me when we’re with James and Peter, although he sometimes ignores me with them as well. I really need to talk to him about this, as I’ve said before. There’s a difference between not dating and not talking, and I really want him to understand that. He’s just so difficult, I don’t know what to do with him.
I need to be going, it’s late and I have a very large amount of work that needs to be done by tomorrow. That’s the other problem with the Severus meetings; they leave me almost no time to work. It’s worth it, of course, I just wish that we could spend all of that time together and still have enough time for both friends and school work. It would be so much simpler if we could do our work together. Not only would we both get better marks (well, I would, though his really have no room for improvement) and also get to share each other’s company. I actually think I’ll suggest that to him tomorrow after we finish up. He’s very agreeable after he comes, it’s rather amusing.
Anyway, off to work and sleep.
Yours,
Remus J. Lupin
October 12, 1977
Dear Diary,
First off, sorry for not writing for so long. I think that the only reason that I didn’t get yelled at by Dumbledore is that I’ve written far too much in the past, these few weeks have well been made up. Besides, he knows how many classes I’m taking and that I require lots of study time. Plus Severus, but he doesn’t know that (although he probably does, the saint).
Anyway, I am euphoric, sedated, content, pleased. I have a strange sense of wellbeing that I have never before experienced. Today, Severus and I finally went beyond our normal snog sessions; wanking each other off, touching torsos gently. Today, we exchanged the greatest gift ever given to man: blowjobs.
Oh wait, I’m sorry, I just lied; blowjobs are number two on the ‘greatest gift to man list’. Number one is undeniably the mouth of Mr. Severus Snape, which can really perform wonders for a person. I hate to keep comparing him to Sirius, (they’re the only two serious relationships I’ve had), but Severus is just so much better at sucking cock than Sirius. It’s surprising; Sirius is supposed to be the absolute best at everything sexual, but Severus literally blows him away. Thinking about it makes me laugh; it’s just so…opposite. Thank goodness for Blacks, though, I guess. If it weren’t for them and their ever-sexual ways, neither Severus nor I would know anything. I’ll have to thank Regulus next time I see him.
Ugh, Severus is so talented. He told me before he kneeled that he believed in the ‘Don’t touch my head, I know what I’m doing’ method, and that if I grabbed his hair or ears, he would stop and leave. I chuckled and let him undo my pants.
He took out my, by then, painfully hard prick and quickly swiped his tongue over the tip. He lifted up my cock with his hands and took another swipe at my balls. I shivered the whole time, especially when he finally put the whole thing into his mouth. Like, all of it. And then started pushing his tongue on the underside and moving back and forth. I so wanted to put my hands in his raven-black locks, but I couldn’t have him leaving, so I didn’t touch.
He pulled his face partially away, wanking my cock quickly with his hand and lapping at the head with that precious tongue. I groaned to warn him that I was close and he shoved a rough nail right over and into the slit of my prick. I know I screamed. The sound is still echoing in my head. It was fantastic and I’ve never come harder in my life.
I barely remember returning the favor, I was so dazed, although I do recall how nice his prick had felt inside my mouth, how Severus-ish it had tasted. I’ve never before enjoyed giving head before, but doing anything with Severus is enjoyable, especially when I get the chance to give him pleasure. Or, you know, vice versa. That’s always good too. Heh.
But tomorrow is the full moon and Severus wanted to …experiment with what we could do with blowjobs. Although the idea of it alone made my prick harden even after Severus sucked me off, I had to tell him that no, it wasn’t possible to meet tomorrow. Neither was getting anything school related done, which means I have to do it all now or after. I choose now.