arionrhod (arionrhod) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-01-29 20:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic: pg13, trading places challenge |
trading Places Fic - Cupid's Little Helper - PG13
Title: Cupid's Little Helper, Part 2/4
Author: arionrhod
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Trading Places
Word Count: Total ~21,100
Summary: The Afterlife isn't what Sirius Black expected it to be... but coming back to Earth with a "mission" isn't much better!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
"I see you're as useless as a whatever-you-are now as you were as a man."
The scathing voice brought Sirius out of his thoughts of gloom and doom, but unfortunately, the reality was even worse. Snape... well, what could be said about Snape that he'd not already said or thought a million times? The great greasy git was just as scowling and greasy as ever, and if there was ever a person on the face of the earth who didn't deserve a Fairy Godfather, it was he.
"And you're just as nasty and ugly as ever!" Sirius shot back, quite forgetting all about the Afterlife, as years of hatred boiled up and spilled over. "I can't believe this! I thought Purgatory was bad, but this is a million times worse! They're out of their minds, saying that I have to help you to get to Heaven!"
Snape blinked in obvious surprise, then his eyes narrowed. "What are you blathering on about, Black? Obviously death has completely shattered what little mind you had left! Whatever it is, I won't be haunted by you - out! Out right now, before I throw you out!"
"Oh, yeah?" Sirius taunted, stung by the comment about losing his mind; it was a little too close to home for comfort. "You can't make me!"
A singularly nasty smile twisted Snape's lips. "Oh, can't I?" he practically purred, and Sirius had a sudden moment of panicked doubt. To be honest, he didn't know what Snape could make him do or how he could be hurt, but he had a sick feeling he was about to find out.
The hex shot out of Snape's wand, brilliant red light arcing toward Sirius, straight at his chest. He recognized the spell, and he was so sickened by Snape using the same one Bellatrix had used to send him through the Veil that he couldn't even muster the strength to get out of the way. Closing his eyes, he grit his teeth in anticipation as the spell struck dead center - no pun intended! - on his chest.
And passed right through him.
He felt a slight tingle, nothing more, and he opened his eyes again in surprise, whirling to look behind him. The beam, unchecked by its intended target, slammed into a set of shelves on the opposite wall, shattering bottles and jars and sending shards of glass flying with a resounding explosion. Sirius ducked instinctively, but he might was well not have bothered; the shrapnel flew through him with as little effect as the spell.
Snape, however, wasn't quite so lucky, and he gave a hiss of displeasure as he threw up a shield spell, causing the bits of glass and pottery to fall to the ground. Sirius' lips twitched as a wickedly amused grin attempted to curve his lips, but the expression died a swift death at the murderous look on Snape's face.
"Black, this is ALL YOUR FAULT!" he shouted, stalking toward Sirius with obvious ill-intent. Sirius held his ground, certain that if flying spells and debris couldn't hurt him, neither could Snape.
"Right. I came here to help you, you started flinging insults and spells, and when your lab gets wrecked, it's my fault!" Sirius ran a hand through his hair in frustration, holding back any additional words by force of will. He had just reminded himself that he wasn't here to fight; he was here to try to earn his way to a better fate, and pissing Snape off further wasn't the way to do it. As little as he wanted to do anything that aided a man he despised, he had to think about himself.
"It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been here," Snape snarled, stopping a few inches from Sirius, seething with righteous indignation. "So yes, it's your fault. And I don't believe for a single moment that you're here to help me! I just want you gone, and the sooner the better!"
"The feeling is mutual, believe me," Sirius shot back, then sighed heavily, trying to keep the situation at least minimally civil. "Look, this isn't going right, and yes, to an extent, it's my fault." He knew his tone was grudging, and he hurried on as Snape's expression darkened. "But I was no more expecting to be sent to you than you were expecting to see me. I really was sent to help you; I've been in Purgatory since that bitch Bellatrix pushed me through the Veil, and I've got a chance to do something to earn my way to a better afterlife." He knew he was taking a risk telling Snape this, but there didn't seem to be much of a choice at this point. "I was told I had to make things right for the person I'd wronged most in life."
His heart sank as Snape's expression went through a metamorphosis - at first to disbelief, but then transforming to a positively evil sort of glee. "So, you're trying to improve your position, and whatever powers that be have determined I am the one you must help? Well, well, well... this is a refreshing surprise! You're finally being punished for your misdeeds, and I actually get to see it! And here I thought there was no justice in the universe."
Sirius snorted, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. This was every bit as unpleasant as he had feared, but there was nothing for it but to push on and just try to get it over with as soon as possible. "Look, Snape, it's simple, really. I didn't know before I got here, but obviously I'm supposed to do something like grant you a wish, I guess. So why don't you just tell me what you want most, I'll do whatever it is I'm supposed to do to get it for you, and we'll just call it even, all right? You can go back to whatever it is you're doing to keep busy these days, and I can go to my final reward." It almost killed him to say it, knowing that his last contact with Earth would be with the greasy git. Still, he had to do what he had to do. "So what do you want? Some rare potions ingredients? A nice pet snake? Or maybe to be stunningly handsome?"
Although I sure as hell don't know how I'll manage that. I suppose I'll have to hope this stupid looking wand can pull off a miracle!
He had hopes that Snape would be the greedy sort and ask for money, or, even better, say that he would be satisfied if Sirius merely went away. Sirius watched Snape's face, beginning to worry as Snape seemed to actually be thinking about the question. Then his heart sank as Snape smiled, an expression that was as cold as the Dark Lord's heart, and when he spoke, Sirius knew he was doomed.
"Find me true love, Black, and all will be forgiven."