ellid (ellid) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-01-20 06:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic: pg13, trading places challenge |
Trading Places fic for Brunaghot
Title: Fools; or, The Choices We Make
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They're having a baby during a war. What sort of fools do that?
Note: This is my entry for the "Trading Places" challenge, and is based on No Words by Brunaghot. Completely unbeta'd and written under the influence of jetlag, so I make no claims as to coherence or quality.
Warning: mpreg. Also, DH references but not compatible.
We're fools to be doing this.
Severus stared at himself in the mirror. The Fecunditas had been intended as a wedding gift for Bill and Fleur Weasley, since even part-veelas tended to have problems conceiving with humans. He had been about to owl it to Arthur, his Order contact, as a wedding gift for the happy couple since he didn't dare appear in public so soon after Albus' death, and had almost finished it when Bellatrix stormed in demanding to know what he'd been doing. When he'd claimed to be making a simple restorative draught, she'd narrowed her eyes, snarled something about "prove your loyalty, half-blood," and forced him to drink the whole dose while she watched.
And of course he'd had sex with Remus barely an hour before.
I should have taken the counteragent as soon as she left. I knew what might happen.
The potion was powerful enough to overcome veela magic, so why had he been surprised that it had overcome gender and anatomy? He'd felt odd within days, and been ill enough that Arthur had summoned Poppy. She'd been stunned, and Arthur's genial façade had nearly shattered, but they'd kept enough presence of mind to summon Remus once they realized that he was the father.
Your father was happy. So happy. Has he lost his mind?
At least his pregnancy had been the perfect reason for Remus to break it off with Nymphadora, and just in time. She'd reacted so badly to the news that Severus was carrying "what should have been my baby!" that Kingsley had immobilized her and cast a diagnostic spell. Remus had shaken his head and murmured that he wasn't surprised that Nymphadora's personality change had been due to an Imperius cast by her aunt Narcissa, not her "epic love" for a man almost old enough to be her father, and that she had been assigned to infiltrate the Order and neutralize Remus before he could win over the uncommitted werewolf packs.
She had been obliviated and sent to work with Charlie Weasley in the Romanian wizarding community, far away from her insane relatives and any chance that Narcissa or Bellatrix could reactivate the Unforgiveable. Remus had continued his work, and Severus had been sent to the Lupin family home in the Dales under a Fidelius before the Death Eaters could learn that he was carrying Remus' child.
He was safe, but he had little to do, and it was driving him mad. Knowing that the Order was safe because he was pregnant didn't make it the enforced idleness any easier.
The baby shifted in place, and he rubbed at his belly until she calmed. Eight months ago he had been preparing to go into deep cover and ensure Potter's victory over a madman. He had never expected to be pregnant and in hiding as his due date neared. Would he even know if the Dark Lord won?
"I'm useless," he whispered, unable to tear his eyes from his swollen body. "Grotesque, unnatural, utterly useless - "
"Don't say that." Hands he knew so well slipped under the curve of his stomach, helping to support the extra weight. "Don't."
He bowed his head, jaw tightening at how gentle Remus always was with him. "Why not? I can't leave the Fidelius field. I can't be seen by anyone who isn't in the Order. I can't even get out of a chair without help." His eyes squeezed shut at how humiliating it had been at the last meeting, when he'd misjudged his bulk and nearly knocked a bottle of ink onto a map showing the location of Death Eater attacks on Muggles. "Minerva is desperate, the Dark Lord controls the Ministry, the Muggle PM is talking about interning our kind unless something is done, and what am I doing? Incubating."
A shiver ran through him at the press of naked skin against his back, the soft caress of hands all but worshipping his belly. "You've analyzed all the reports the rest of us have brought in from the field, brewed the potions and salves we'll need to face the battle." Remus nuzzled the join of neck and shoulder. "You're not on the front lines this time, but you're not useless. Harry and his friends would be dead a dozen times over if you hadn't cracked Voldemort's code."
"Not the same. I promised Albus - "
Remus' reflection buried his face in Severus' hair. "Your baby - our baby - is why we're fighting. She's the future. Why else are we doing this?"
"Because I was a fool." His hands locked over Remus', protectively cradling their daughter despite his words. "You're a fool, too. Two men having a baby during a war - what are we thinking?"
"What Albus always used to say - that our choices are what count," said Remus. He lifted his head and smiled at Severus in the mirror. "I chose you, you know. And you chose me and our child. What better way to fight, than to choose love?"
Severus swallowed. "You're too sentimental by half. I'll have to see if I can modify your potion before she's old enough to copy you. No daughter of mine is going to weep daintily into a lace handkerchief over a - "
"Hush." Remus half-turned him so they could kiss. Severus pressed against him as well as he could, body responding despite his condition. "No more talking."
"Even if we're - "
"Severus. Hush." Remus drew him away from the mirror toward their bed. "Maybe in the morning if you must. But not tonight."
"Not tonight," echoed Severus, and let Remus show him the wisdom of their choice without another word.